Hellooooo Chad!

We here at Etsy Bitch would like to welcome you with a large cup of coffee and two painkillers of your choice (aspirin, Tylenol, Advil, Vicodin...).

Hopefully, you've had an opportunity to check out the site before today and realized what a disorganized, poorly programmed nightmare you have on your hands. If the code hasn't given you a migraine yet, we'd like to note here what features Etsy customers have been asking for and practically begging (in some cases) for years:

1. FIrst you need a notification system for site announcement that lets users know what (if any) current bugs, what's in development, etc. If Etsy is going to be making changes and improvements to the site Etsy should put the plan in print and send it to all sellers. In fact, all plans and updates should be announced and their progress tracked with a MONTHLY REPORT to all sellers.
   
   
2. And if that system can deliver emails in a timely manner (hours instead of weeks, if ever) that would make us drop dead of shock. Auto notices sent when there are changes to site policies that delivers and functions in a speedy manner, not the "maybe in 5 days I'll get it" way we have now. Many people never get the emails they do send out. This is just disgusting for an e-commerce site.
   
   
3. Convos and notices need to be toggled to OPT-OUT not opt-in. Most buyers are first timers who don't know what the fuck a convo is or how it works. We shouldn't have to suffer a sale gone bad simply because our buyer doesn't know to read the forums, or an online manual on how to use Etsy to know that they aren't getting convos regarding their order. And the sellers don't deserve bad feedback because of it.
   
   
4. A central account activity page when you log in that has the latest tecnical news for Etsy, Dorque articles headlines (and only the headlines please, don't make us gag too much), a space for your current etsy bill total and date due, how many new feedbacks, convos and sales since you last logged in.
   
   
5. If you haven't seen what Verybigjen worked up back in January, go look and do it. It went over well in the forums. It's simply wonderous; notes spaces for your outgoing orders (sigh), buyers emails to be linked on sold pages (gasp!), convos with buyers shortcutted so they can be brought up without two tabs in the browser and five minutes work. It's so brilliantly simple we want to have sex with it and have it's babies. This one is incredibly awesome too.
   
   
6. Let us pay our bills with Paypal. And for god's sake, can you please fix the buying process so it will work seamlessly with Paypal and not the half-assed system we have now that confuses and looses new buyers. We're tired of apologizing for Etsy being a clusterfuck of dumbasses for not being able to nail being a decent commerce site.
   
   
7. More ability to rearrange and control our shops other than by renewing and relisting, a practice Etsy loves as it pads it's pockets.
   
   
8. Half the forums are bullshit and need removed. The social aspect of Etsy has taken over over the site. We should have expected it out of the facebook crowd, but it's just gotten out of hand.
   
   
9. A search that works. A search that works. A search that works!!! Light it up in the sky in letters 50 foot high and set it on fire, A SEARCH THAT WORKS! Don't make us sacrifice a Cupcake to make it happen.
   
   
10. Stats, dammit. (The dammit is not directed at you Chad, we like you so far). Stats! Sure some of it will likely unveil shit that Etsy doesn't want known, like perhaps that most buyers link in from other searches or blogs not from within Etsy-itself, but damn it we need to know what works, and what doesn't.
    
    
11. The ability to organize convos, and favorites. And a way to delete expired items or copy listings would be nice too.
    
    
12. Fix the half assed batch shipping page. It was great we finally got it, but why won't it tell us what everything is set to? How are we to know what "no change" means? Could be something, could be nothing, Who the hell let that one slip by? Oh right, they fired him. Anyway, now that he's gone can you finish what he didn't?
    
    
13. Buying features, er... Flash toys. 75% of them are frivolous and do nothing and need to be deleted. If search worked from the get go there would have been no urge to make them anyway.
    
    
14. Most importantly a technical and customer support issues big-boy ticketing system. If sellers have issues they don't want to be shrugged off or told to clear their cache for every problem or that they just suck. Or be ignored. Or mocked. Or... well anything else Etsy has done to us.

Thanks for taking a moment to read this Chad. Please keep in mind that this list is not the list of eleven anonymous Etsy customers. Rather it is the tip of an iceberg of countless Etsy customers who have posted in the Ideas section of the Etsy forums and been ignored. Over and over again.

I'm sure our readers will have other ideas, we encourage them to post them in comments, and for you to read those as well.

Sincerely,

The Etsy Bitches

Quotables: Random Absurdity

Look at the shiny new feature

Oh yes I lurve the mandala - much better then anything like categories, an effective search, statistics or anything to help buyers find what they want and sellers to do better.

Disillusionment

Oh heck. It's getting really hard to be an etsy cheerleader these days.

:(

Weekend follies

Exhibit number 22,500 in the case for ADMIN to have weekend staffing!

Words to cherish

This is etc - until you've gone too far you haven't gone far enough. Isn't that the motto?

Sample forum topic

Title: HELP

OP: I need advice. I did ________. What do you think?
1st ten responses: You go girl
11th: (politely) I think you were wrong because __________

OP - WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING ME?!!! I just want some support!! You troll!!

DNBF List

I wont buy from you if you don't convo me
I wont buy from you if you use packing peanuts
I wont buy from you if you send me a sample
I wont buy from you if you don't send a sample
I wont buy from you if you use recycled packaging
I wont buy from you if you don't use recycled packaging
I wont buy from you if you have a typo
I wont buy from you if you if you're not a Christian
I wont buy from you if you don't ship same day
I wont buy from you if you use palm oil/coconut oil/whatever oil


Over the past 1 year, 3 months, I've learned to give a good eye roll at these types of threads. I do what I believe is best for my "one person show" shop.

If you were quoted, congratulations and thanks! You can find your
celebratory "I've been Quoted" (and other EB avatars) by clicking here.

Don't Let the Door Hit You In The Ass On Your Way Out!

Today it was announced in the Storque that founding Etsy members Haim Schoppik and Revolving Dork, a.k.a. Chris Maguire, are leaving Etsy.

"Leaving"? Leaving in the same way that Rob Kalin was moved demoted from CEO to Chief Cupcake Officer? Spin it, boys, spin it.

Goodbye, Chris. You'll have to find another company to vandalize the wikipedia for and other news editors to impersonate.

Goodbye, Haim. We're not really sure what you did, other than be on fire.

Three down, one to go. Worried yet, Jared?

No new listings - a heads up

Just wanted to give you all a heads up that Etsy appears to be having issues with search and categories...well more than usual anyway. Admin HeyMichelle actually did post about several bugs reports they are responding to. How long they've been going on and how long it will take to fix is a whole other question. Though they think they have an idea.

The clock's ticking, Etsy. We've got our eyes on you!

In the meantime, it's a craps game as to whether you should list new items, renew, relist, or edit. With some disappearing or coming up as empty and unclickable, my suggestion is to not do anything on Etsy at the moment.

I'm taking bets on how long before it's fixed. Since this is their bread n' butter I'd say they're pulling the night shift - they'll clear their cache, reboot their servers, and jiggle the wires on the wrong wall before saying it's fixed and telling us in the morning that we were just seeing things. 'Nope, the listings are fine, those grey empty boxes are supposed to be there. Now RENEW!!!'

Back To Stripping...err School

Now, I know kids are dressing sexier these days, but the Etsy back to school showcase has been offering a little bit more than one would expect. Thanks to morrigan_etsy for uploading a screenshot to our flickr pool.

A question for Etsy

Etsy is an ecommerce venue, right?

So why doesn't Etsy offer any real statistical tools to its sellers?

Etsy has never offered its sellers any stats, although it's been vaguely promising them for almost as long as the site has existed. (This is consistent with Etsy not offering a slew of features that most people would consider standard for an ecommerce site: streamlined listing, bulk image uploading, searchable sales, a proper printable invoice, vacation mode. They've only just now given us bulk feedback, for pity's sake).

The end result of Etsy offering no stats is that sellers are working almost totally in the dark. If they run an advertising campaign for their Etsy shops, they have no way of tracking where their traffic is coming from, and, therefore, whether that advertising was successful. If they change their product line, ditto. Without statistics, sellers are flying blind when it comes to running their shops like real businesses.

Etsy has the stats, of course. Most people have noticed Etsy's own Google Analytics loading while they're waiting for a page to open on the site. It doesn't fly blind. It just won't help its sellers (unless those sellers are Admin. We've heard a few reports from people who've visited Etsy that Admin there have lots of access to stats). So, Etsy has lots and lots of statistics for its own use, particularly misleading ones it can trot out in monthly Stroque articles. But it has consistently refused to share basic statistical information with its sellers.

Views and hearts.

The only thing resembling statistics that Etsy has given sellers are 1. item view counters and 2. "hearts". ("Hearts" are given by other Etsy users to sellers or to specific items when those sellers or items are added to another Etsian's favorites list.) Not dazzling. Not terribly useful. Not even reliable (views were seriously wonky from at least August 2007). But they were the only stats we had, and we made the most of them.

We made the most of them, largely thanks to the initiative of other Etsians (not Admin).

Etsy sellers doing it for themselves.

Since February 2007, Etsy's sellers have tried to compile their own stats on the site. Lots of sellers have tried this, including the redoubtable loosewirestudios. This is all of a piece with Etsy rolling out features (in this case an entire ecommerce site) that has enough holes in it to require its own users to come up with work arounds.

An extended example of sellers doing it for themselves was the founding of off-Etsy sites which sprang up to fill the statistical void, notably EtsyTools and The Heart-O-Matic.

The Heart-O-Matic was launched by Etsy seller, juln, and turns Etsy's view and hearts counters into fairly useful statistical tools. From January 2008, until EtsyTools' demise on April 1, 2008, the Heart-O-Matic was offered as part of EtsyTools (see below). Now it's gone back to its original site at http://www.majaba.org/heartomatic.php, where it continues to provide some very useful information for Etsy sellers.

EtsyTools (founded in August 2007 by interrobang and vertis) was another unofficial, off-Etsy site which offered incredibly useful charts of Etsy data culled from Etsy's API (application programming interface). Etsy itself always seemed a little snippy about EtsyTools, perhaps because it was slightly embarrassed that two sellers were able to grab Etsy's data and provide some of the stats that Etsy sellers had been pleading for for so long. For whatever reason, a concerted effort was made by a few seriously unbalanced people to shut down EtsyTools. Finally, it was the death threats that did it, and Etsy Tools closed its site on April 1, 2008. It is much mourned.

Both of these sites were brilliant pieces of work, but nothing Etsy couldn't have come up with itself, as a service to its sellers. It didn't.

The whole view thing

As I said, views were pretty unreliable from August 2007, but they were completely unreliable for over three months, from March to June 2008, disappearing sporadically to the considerable consternation of sellers. During this time Etsy displayed its patented cavalier attitude to its sellers and their needs. Anyone asking questions about views was directed to a month's old thread (which itself referenced a month's old Storque article.) On May 27, 2008, a thread was posted in the Ideas forum by a staff member CaterpillarCowboy, asking us to choose between having accurate views and a decent search, and telling us to defend our choice. This employee finally closed the thread, after having delivered the somewhat upsetting news that the engineers who built Etsy (that would be RevolvingDork himself) didn't allow for the exponential growth of the site, with the result that the view counters were degrading and would continue to degrade. Fixing this problem was going to be a huge undertaking and we weren't to hold our collective breaths.

Then, after months of outcry and frustration in the forums, without any warning, Revolving Dork announced that everything was fixed, for data from January 2008 to June 16, 2008. Not only were views fixed, but they had been restored from previously stored data. A sterling example of Etsy's fine communication, but, nevertheless, we were all pathetically happy to have even this tiny piece of information back.

Etsy asks our opinion ... and then ignores it.

Etsy Admin have, from time to time (about once a year), entertained themselves by seeming to ask our opinions about statistics. They did it in June 2006 and August 2007. Then Rokali asked again in April 2008 -- or, rather, he asked Etsy Forum participants to list their top three ideas for both selling and buying. 93 pages of input resulted in a Storque article on April 21 which disclosed that, tah dah! Statistics were on the top of seller requests. Since then ... nothing. Except maybe the threat that shop stats are something that we're going to be charged extra for.

A modest proposal

Etsy, please stop trying to reinvent everything from scratch, and just let us add a tiny bit of code so that we can use Google Analytics and/or statcounter with our shops. For example, take a look at how shopify.com has integrated Google Analytics so that their sellers can seamlessly track their own stats. In fact, take a look at shopify.com for a lot of great tips on how you can make the seller experience at Etsy better.

Also consider an idea originally suggested by dingo and seconded by littleput. "Even in aggregate some stats would be helpful. Etsy could - today - tell us what the conversion rates are for hits from search engines, bookmark sites, blogs, the front page, the gift guides, Etsy searches, category browsing, etc. They could be fixed up in a daily or weekly chart and shared with everyone."

*******
APPENDIX

[I want to thank a tireless member of the Auxiliary for compiling many of the links below. They give some of the history of sellers' call on Etsy for statistics. (Of course we may have missed some important threads because locked threads are not searchable). I know it's a really long list, but In some ways I think this sorry progression speaks for itself.]

NOVEMBER 16, 2005 :
Sellers want stats, Etsy won't give 'em

JANUARY 5, 2006:
More statistics from Etsy? RD replies that "We're planning on
expanding internal shop-specific stats in future revisions."

FEBRUARY 28, 2006
Seller asks for referral stats, RD replies that they're not in the plans.

MAY 2, 2006
Etsy seller happywhosists starts compiling some random stats from items viewed in The Sampler to show items sold, price paid per item and average price of item sold. She continued doing this, on and off, until January 2007. Well done!
Here's a forum search for "selling stats for" which will give you most of her threads

JUNE 19, 2006:
Rokali asks "Which Etsy stats can help you?" Apparently there was an internal discussion about stats panel. 11 pages of suggestions from sellers, until August 2006

NOVEMBER 25, 2006
Etsy Statistics? No reply from any Admin

FEBRUARY 13, 2007
Graph for shopping statistics? In the absence of Etsy-provided stats, sellers share workarounds

AUGUST 6, 2007
EtsyTools.com launched by two sellers to fill a void -- using Etsy API, they provided some tremendously useful stats until they were harassed into closing in early April 2008. Eight months. That's how long they lasted. (This thread was locked for misinformation)

AUGUST 27, 2007
Views: Why are they restarting and when will they be back?
RD tells us that view counts are stored in RAM, and that all the information is saved, but not visible. They are "currently trying to overhaul the view system to make it more robust and prevent this sort of thing from happening" , it may take "a few months to be implemented.

SEPTEMBER 19, 2007
Sellers start gathering their own demographic stats to answer the questions: what is our market? What is the sales to listing ration? How long is normal before I make a sale? What day of the week is best to list?

SEPTEMBER 19, 2007
loosewirestudios starts collating the user-gathered data on Etsy Statistics (from the above thread) on Flickr

SEPTEMBER 24 2007
DrWoohoo asks for Seller Stats requests.

This was also a Storque article (of course).

SEPTEMBER 26, 2007
Sellers recommends alexa.com as source of Etsy stats

NOVEMBER 13, 2007
Where do I find Etsy stats? Not on Etsy, that's for sure.

NOVEMBER 14, 2007
Sellers try to compile their own Showcase Statistics

DECEMBER 3, 2007
Idea: Shop Statistics

MARCH 6, 2008
Intrepid seller complies some Etsy stats on his own

MARCH 18, 2008
Storque article on view tally reset, cause and future solutions

MARCH 26, 2008
Curious seller wants to know where she can find site statistics.

MARCH 30, 2008
etsytools.com is closing down because of harassment

APRIL 11, 2008
Minutes of Town Hall meeting -- Rokali announces that shop stats will likely cost sellers more money.

Rokali: one word on shop stats: this is something that's very server-intensive, meaning that it takes a lot of resources for us to provide these stats. Rokali: there will be several differing levels of stats, starting with free and moving onto a couple packages that cost a couple bucks a month (pricing to be set). We'll give you the most we can for free ;P

APRIL 15, 2008
Rokali wants our input as to the top three ideas so that Etsy can "prioritize development". Of course you do, Rob.

APRIL 21, 2008
Rokali announces the results of his forum thread gathering info about our top three ideas for improving Etsy: Seller Stats is number one.

APRIL 28, 2008
RD tells us that views are not a priority, and that the current view tally systems has "some problems with storing data reliably". He refers to the March 18, 2008 Storque article.

MAY 13, 2008
Seller begs for Shop Stats. marymary says they're something Etsy is working towards

MAY 16, 2008
Are we ever going to have statistics?

MAY 27, 2008
CaterpillarCowboy (aka "Dave") asks us to choose between a better search and working views, and tells us to convince him that views are needed. It later turns out that this is an experiment.

MAY 29, 2008
"Dave" calls us all his friends and spills the beans that views are broken because the engineers who built Etsy (that would be Revolving Dork) didn't allow for site growth. They will continue to degrade (the views, not the engineers)

JUNE 4, 2008
Seller would still like some stats, please.

JUNE 11, 2008
"I wish I could see stats!" So do we. It would be even better than seeing dead people.

JUNE 11, 2008
Is there anywhere else I can get stats on my Etsy shop?

JUNE 12, 2008
Shop statistics: any idea when they might be available? How cold is Hell getting, these days?

JUNE 13, 2008
Aren't you ashamed, Etsy? OP about lack of communication, but a lot of discussion of views and stats. Locked on June 18 after 84 pages, and called "long-winded" by marymary.

JUNE 18, 2008
RD suddenly announces that views have not only been fixed but they have been restored

JUNE 21, 2008
ETA on site statistics for individual shops? marymary notes suggestion, and that they have shop stats on the list of "user requested features" (as if the designers of an ecommerce site couldn't have suggested that shop stats would be a good thing), but no ETA.

JUNE 26, 2008
Is there a section on Etsy for stats?

JUNE 27, 2008
Sellers asks how to view shop stats -- usual responses from Etsy community: majaba.org, you can make your own, etc.

JULY 15, 2008
So, Etsy ... How Are Those Seller Stats Coming Along?

JULY 22, 2008
Etsy, you have stats available for your needs -- please share them.

JULY 23, 2008
Charging sellers for shop statistics is a bad idea. Please don't.

JULY 29, 2008
Can we please have daily etsy stats in the aggregate

AUGUST 5, 2008
God, I need stats. So do we all, honey, so do we all.

Quotables: Get a Clue

What to tell a lawyer

Tell them

It was Colonel Mustard
In the Study
With the CandleStick

or maybe this

I thought it was swimmy
in the treehouse
with a hammock

If you were quoted, congratulations and thanks! You can find your
celebratory "I've been Quoted" (and other EB avatars) by clicking here.

Quotables: Cupcake Edition

Recipe #1

How to clean cupcakes out of pipelines: Pour some baking soda into the pipeline, sprinkle in some glitter, follow it up with some vinegar. All the bubbles will move the abrasive glitter around scrubbing the frosting away and leaving the pipeline clean and clear.

Recipe #2

I see someone slipped crystal meth into the cupcakes...

If you were quoted, congratulations and thanks! You can find your
celebratory "I've been Quoted" (and other EB avatars) by clicking here.

Mute Salute Treasury

We got wind of this great treasury put together by kcroteau, featuring sellers who have been muted or banned.

Check it out and give 'em some love, cause Etsy sure doesn't.

And if you ever do any treasuries that are bitch-worthy, send 'em our way.

EB Comments of the Week, August 20th

kibbles said...
Wouldn't it be easier if we just sent a list of the truly handmade shops? This would be a much shorter list.

astley said...
Does anyone else ever feel like they are constantly being Rick Roll'd on Etsy?

embellisher said...
We care, Windys because it's the human element: someone touched it, molded it, cast their vision upon the waves and let it go. We stayed up late, burning the oil, didn't buy food so we could buy supplies, labored to put ourselves in that vision, opened ourselves up to ridicule, scorn, praise, whatever. It's not just about the money. We'd do it for free (heck, some of us are, when you check our prices)We have jobs yet this is our passion, our therapy. We love knowing our creations made someone smile, laugh, cry, just endure a little longer in this crazy world. It's like childbirth, you have to get it out. We have slipped discs, carpal tunnel syndrome, failing eyesight, and yet we persevere. It's everything and yet nothing. it connects us to everyone else, creates a community among far-flung people, takes us out of our self-imposes cocoons.

If you were quoted, congratulations and thanks! You can find your
celebratory "I've been Quoted" (and other EB avatars) by clicking here.

You asked for it... You got it!

Etsy Bitch Forums! And a chat room!

Links are in the orange block on the top of the right sidebar, nice and easy to find!

Let us know if you see the need for other forums etc... we just made it nice and simple to start!

First chat is 8pm EST Tonight! Come join us!

Let's Play a Game of Find the Admin

Funny that this forum thread appeared recently, I've spent the last few days combing Etsy for information about Admin usernames and bugging my other EB for help. Why help you ask? Because the About page, Storque About Us series, Storque authorship list, and the wiki don't contain all the information. And not a single one of those sources has the exact same information as the others. I still can't track down usernames for 7 admin listed on the about page, but they're engineers so I guess that's acceptable - they mostly use shops for test listings.

Talk about confusing. No wonder you all asked! It's like finding Waldo.

Anyway, here is a list of Etsy admin usernames, shops, associated collaborations, and relatives. From my count, 23 admin (more than one-third) have 34 shops and Admin hold a total of at least 95 IDs. Day-umn. Talk about bloating the registration figures! (Edit: Nov 3, 2009 These numbers are much higher now than when this article was originally published)

December 23, 2009: Admin are posting in a single forum thread with the ids they use in the forums.

August 27, 2010: Rokali claims 125 Etsy employees and still hiring

Administration

Chief Executive Officer (again) as of Jan 1, 2010 (formerly CEO and then Chief Cupcake er Creative Officer (CCO)): Rob Kalin–rokali (the “founder of Etsy” and parachutes.org)

Chief Technology Officer (CTO): Chad Dickerson - chaddickerson

Chief Operating Officer (COO): Adam Freed - adamfreed (joined Aug 27, 2010)

Operations

Head of ops: MCR (only initials were given by saralouhicks in Storque article, his wife just had a baby)

Consultant: johndmc

Business Development: Jesse Hertzberg - eetzee, gonzo- no disclosure in that profile)

Accountant: Sinohe Terrero– sinoheterrero

International Development: Liz Wald - muka

Finance: Carrington - cwilly3

Lawyer: Sarah Feingold – sarahsays, attorneysarah, feingoldjewelry

Office Ecologist: Pete – petercorrie(shop and main admin account, married to Anda) also known as tubularist, aeiou (closed), librarycopy, petecorrie

Holly - hoanko

Product

VP of Product Management: Sara Hicks - saralouhicks

Design Director, User Experience: Michael Craig - mcraig71

Categories and Taxonomy: Amy DeCicco - amydec

UI Designer: Jen - jendoo

Prototypes and Mockups/user experience: KC - okaysee

Finance and Operations: Beth Ferreira – bethela, beyondthelens

Product Managers: Sean Flannagan - sean11, Tom Kutter - kutty, Eric Stephens - ericds

Design Team: Mandy - aworkinglibrary (Creative Director), Randy J Hunt - randyjhunt (also CitizenScholar), Jay-thinksauce

Software developer: beamrider9

Labs (EtsyLabs has moved from Gold Street – formerly known as Community and Labs, Community is now part of Support)

Etsy’s Official Store: etsystore (formerly etsylabs

Office Manager: Sarah Starpoli - rockstarpoli

Danielle – daniellexo, preciouspups, Secretmade (closed), daniellemaveal

Julie – julieincharge, yoursecretadmiral, familyties (with mom),
fibercontent (mom), lotsofiber (mom)

Anda Corrie(married to Pete) – anda, stopsandstarts, boosterseat, mrscorrie, orphans (closed), babystops (closed), foroneanother (practice/assignment account)
her mom’s shops: thebirdsandbees, appalachia

Screenprinting intern: Morgan - neonmorgan

Storque

Vanessa Bertozzi - vanessa (Moved to Director of Community and Education June 29, 2010)

Editor: Alison Feldmann – teenangster, goldgrass

Videos: Tara – weirdwolf

Videos: Eric Beug - Objecked

Storque intern: Michelle - mtraub

UK Blogger (new Jan 2010): Amity - allthosethrees

French Blogger (new Jan 2010): Amelie - foley

Editorial Director (new June 2010, took over for Vanessa): Juliet - julietgo

Support and Forums

Head of Customer Support: Bernadette Sweeney - bernsweeney

Manager of Policy and Site Content: Lauren Engelhardt– stellaloella seller prior to employee, onmysleeve, etsyjournal (closed), used to collaborate on Etsylou - The Saint Louis area street team (closed)

Tim Pence – Dillinger

Claire Beaudreault– mermaidclaire, onceinadirtywhile

Erin Haldrup – ErinHaldrup, desirest, ErinOrleans

Lori – chillionaire, WreckReation

Jim Chesters –jimchesters

Matt Ford – projectmattnyc

Amber Dubois – adubois

Adrian Nivola –Adrian1

Jason Seger- jasonmseger, JSeger, Smuttons

Caleb – calebwalt,asleeponatrain.etsy.com

Joe – joethebeard, deepinthewoods, thelostplayground (collaboration with Christine listed below)

Rob White – RobWhite and TastesLikeGood

wife’s shop: xiane

LisaJune - theradicalartisan, temporarily used EtsyTrainee, also plays under lisasroommate

Michelle Spaulding– HeyMichelle (Works community@etsy late nights), reconstructionist, dreamsandoutfits

Meesh - loosewire (known better as loosewirestudio, loosewiresupplies), MichelleBarlow

Sebastien - s3bastien

Corinne, Brittany, Noah, Kim

Nickey (forum moderator) - knickey, nickeyvintage

Marketing

Matt Stinchcomb (Etsy Founder)– matt, pigeon; wife (also admin) Benedikta

Adam Brown - adam

Christina Batch-Lee (Founder of Adorn Magazine) – missbatch, artobject

Emily Bidwell – emilybidwell

Web Analytics Manager: Neelam Hasni -neelam12

Director of Marketing: Nizzi Renaud - missniz, sweetniz

Mailing list: Mike Becak - mikeynice

Merchandising: Christine – iheartmoustaches, jackrabbit, christinedomanic, TheLostPlayground (collaboration)

Merchandising: Mary – MaryMary, contrary, unelephantrose

Barbara - barbs99

Engineering and developers (? = no information in profile to confirm who it is but username is provided in Storque articles, forum threads, or test listings)

VP of Technical Operations: John Allspaw

Dottie the dog (which explains a lot!!)

Eric – likeomg

Bryan Schwab - bschwab

Chris Bohn (CB) – longhaul ?, etsybozo

Dan McKinley - mcfunley

David - davidgiffin

Public API: Justin Sheckley - Stunji

Kyle - twokb

Steve Andrews - sa451, possibly sajandrews (no disclosure that it's admin, RobWhite said it is but not which admin)

Ian Meyer – imeyer

KevinLawler

Flash guru and Etsy Founder: Jared Tarbell - Jared
Paulie - OhPauleez

Jakob von Eichel- vonmilan

Rebekah Hodgson - bekness

Nicholas Cook - nicholascook

EtsyHacks, also known as Ian - indec, ehax, indecorous

Wife: Sarah of twolittlewrens

SEO specialist with SEOmoz: Rand - randfish

Chris Munns - munns

George - Georgyo ?

Tabo ?

Alex – alexandersomma ?

Bob - fumanchu ?

Paul – pasilveira ?

Alec – scaramouche ?

Test accounts: Samusaran ?, rbaboom ?

Rachel - rachelv111

Gerry - TheRealMackenzie

Wil - quiiver

Mike - mikebritts (mikebrittain)

The 5 guys from Adtuitive, including: Isaac Oates - ioates, Greg Fodor - gfodor, Jason Davis - jasondavis, and Matt Walker - mattwalker

ahashim ?

kastner ?

etsyfoo ?

mrembetsy ?

efixler ?

stefankarpinsky ?

No username or information provided but listed on About page as Engineers, might be some of the unassociated usernames above:

Rob B, Erik, Kristian, Ahmed, Eric, Vincent

Admin also hold:

CustomerCare

TheStorque

EtsyinthePress

TechUpdates

EtsyTeams

TheEtsyCollection (manned by Pete Corrie)

And use the following as non-storefront/profile pages:

Developer (the API interface)

Community (the community hub page)

Former Admin:
Bre Pettis (The Hammock Guy)– brepettis (left Etsy October 21, 2008)

WonderAmy (left before Winter 2008)

Chris – RevolvingDork (gone Summer 2008)

Haim (summer 2008)

Kelly – kfarrell (gone Autumn 2008)

Sara – sarawearsskirts, girlscantell, chickenbutt (laid off December 2008)

Ashley – AshleyJacobsen, ashleywhitejacobsen (seller prior to hire, no longer at Etsy as of Jan 19, 2009)

Dave Lifson – CaterpillarCowboy (no longer with Etsy, but still known for making rude comments about Etsy sellers in public)

Jorge – jorgelo (no longer working for Etsy as of June 24, 2009)

Jay (closed) (wife: lollibomb)

Zak – zakj

Lakin – lakinwecker

Mike – mikeH

Annette – annettemusick

Statistics/Strategic Planning: Charles Smith – winenutnyc

Former CEO (1/1/2010) Maria Thomas - pesmou

We will keep this list updated as best we can, if you know of others, post them to the comments so they can be added as well. So you can find this quickly, it is now in the "Etsy Links" section in the left sidebar! Now your DNBF list is complete! *Last updated Sept 13, 2010.

Quotables: In Summary

Sad but true

etsy = going to hell in a handmade (maybe not) handbasket

Quotables: Doublespeak

We'll look into it...

We know that a one-click vacation mode option is a much-desired feature for our sellers, especially those with lots of inventory. We agree that it would be super helpful!

We are hopeful that we will be able to provide a solution. However, I cannot promise a timeline or say with certainty how this feature would work. It's something we have researched (thanks in a big part to a lot of great community feedback from you all) and thought about a lot in recent months.

I said we'll look into it, now run along renew some stuff!

we have to figure out how features work best on Etsy. How other sites do things does not always provide a relevant solution for us. There's a lot of complex back-end work that needs to be considered for any change to the site, especially one as potentially complex as vacation mode. Plus there are a lot of other projects that took priority over this in the past 3 years. It's not quite that black and white.

An Award for Valor and Having a Pair of Big Brass Ones

We here at Etsy Bitch would like to highlight a very brave and blunt post by Creativeneurosis regarding who gets muted and who gets a slap on the wrist (again, and again):

Rob, you seem to be a fairly reasonable man, so I'll attempt reason with you. The incident that prompted the mutings was public. A ton of people saw, and those that didn't have a kazillion ways to find out. What everyone knows is that branded butterfly sent a few people some harassing convos. Two of those people told her publicly to cease and desist and I assume the others must have responded with the appropriately harsh convo she deserved. A short time later 5 of these sellers (including sherrytruitt who, if you recall spent a shitload of time compiling a list of concerns for the treehouse meeting, only to be completely ignored, and I'd bet my firstborn no one's apologized to her for it) are banned from the forums, meanwhile brandedbutterfly is roaming free.

This has lead to the widespread perception (or perhaps understanding) that admin plays favorites and punishes people who criticize the site. I think if there IS a justifiable explanation for the differential in punishment, you need to say it publicly (without naming names, there were at least 5 people banned if I recall), because we ALL saw it happen publicly and most of us are crying foul. Pretending it never happened won't make it go away. Banning people won't make people blind to the site's deficiencies. You've done this before, you will probably do it again, but really, you should stop. It's childish. If you don't want people to complain, just SAY SO. Own that shit. Otherwise you're simply making yourselves out to be hypocrites because you espouse the cause of "community" and then give the sellers the impression you couldn't care less about them.

Yes, maybe this is "calling out", but we ALL KNOW what happened, and all this innuendo is childish. Mute me if you want, I'm sick of all the pussyfooting that's happening here anyways.

For refusing to pussyfoot as well as having a pair of big brass ones, Etsy Bitch hereby awards Creativeneurosis an EB Award for Valor.

or this overlay for your current avatar

Quotables: Look at the shiny new feature!

Irony at it's finest.

cool--this will really help me out when i need to update my shop when I go on vacation next month! oh wait...

cool--this will really help me when I'm trying to search my sold listings for something! oh wait...

cool--this will really help me know how well my advertising is paying off by giving me stats! oh wait...



srsly, was "expiration dates" really all that confusing???

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Quotables: Advertising Edition

Advertising Lessons for Clueless Etsy Admin

1. Advertising lets buyers know that you exist.

If etsy doesn't start something soon to entice buyers to come, eventually there will come a point of critical mass, where the amount of sellers will be at a maximum point that is too high to sustain any sales at all. It seems like we are getting there already.

2. Targeted advertising has a proven track record, perhaps Etsy should try that for a change.

Most of the comments for months have been asking for ads in more mainstream print publications and online ads. Most online retail sites have partnerships for advertising and Etsy can set up a section for the reciprocal ads easily. The mags you listed are preaching to the converted, and does not have a general audience that most sellers want to reach, including online. I subscribe to 20craft publications and use them for finding supplies and high-end shows only.

3. Advertising costs money. Get over it.

(...I'd EAT a chair (handmade, too) if Etsy spent $100,000 on an ad)

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Customer Service 101 - How to say you messed up

When other companies make mistakes that cost their customers time, energy, and patience, they make compensation and apologize. When Etsy does it, they shrug and offer baked goods or a moustache. A large online company had issues recently and sent a letter to all members to let them know. They offered compensation and an apology! Without anyone asking for it!

So I am offering Etsy a brief tutorial on customer service. It's just a beginner's lesson, and I'll make it easy. After all, old habits are hard to break! It's a form letter, an annotated version of the one received by the other company's customers, that can be used when things go fubar - as they often do. Remember, unless you apologize to all your members, it doesn't count.

We’re sorry to report that since 2006 we’ve been experiencing issues with our staff, so many of you have not received customer service in a timely manner and many of you have not received emails letting you know we dealt with your problem.
We pride ourselves in delighting you, and we’ve let you down. We apologize and are working around the clock to restore a semblance of normal operations. To all of you whose service has been delayed, we’ll be automatically applying a credit to your next billing statement. Or, if you are new to Etsy and your first experience was not enjoyable, we recognize that this is not a good way to begin your membership and we’ll automatically extend your listings.
Our goal is to respond to problems as soon as possible and to keep you updated. Again, we are sorry for the inconvenience we’ve caused you and thank you for your patience.

See Etsy, saying you're sorry doesn't hurt, I promise.

How far is the stick jammed up there anyway?

We got more than one email about the locking of this thread, and we're as disgusted as the people who wrote to us. Every single person who posted in this thread did so because they enjoyed the OP's post. There was no fighting, calling out, abuse, trolling, or harassment, just eighteen pages of people having a good chuckle. And then down came the Etsy Hammer of No Fun Allowed.

marymary says:

While we can all appreciate some comic relief, we do ask that other members of the Community not be called out or mocked in the process (even if it is only meant in jest).

Calling out? Mocking? The only mockery going on was self-mockery by people able to reflect upon their own selves, identify with the OP, and find the humour in it. What happened, Etsy? Did you break your sense of humour when your crappy hammocks collapsed underneath you? Did someone piss on your cupcakes that day? It's pretty unfuckingbelievable that admin has the time to read through threads like these and lock them with some ridiculous excuse when there's actual abuse, harassment and trolling going utterly ignored in other threads. Maybe their priorities were also damaged in the Great Hammock Disaster of '08. Whatever the reason, Etsy, get with the fucking program and do something useful instead of making it your mission to crush any enjoyable aspect of the forums.

Quotables: ETC philosophy

Klingons anyone?

Revenge is a dish served best in etcetera.

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Quotables: Reseller's Edition

They're everywhere

It's getting to the point now where I'm very wary of buying from someone with whom I'm not familiar.
I used to use Pounce (Undiscovered) a lot but after seeing many resellers there, I've stopped.

Now I buy either from sellers I've previously bought from, or those who I "see" on the forums.

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EB Comments of the Week, August 12th Part 2

...and yes I know it's not the 12th. Personal life can play hell on one's online intentions.

Smarty Pants said...

I've emptied my shop until/if Etsy gets it act together. I can't risk $$ at this point in my life on something with such a ridiculous rate of failure. It's just another website, really. Millions are created every day.

Julie said...

I am speechless that after that long thread, with people talking about their personal experience with the pain of losing loved ones to murder (and I didn't post, but I could have talked about that as well) that the *only* reaction was "Well, they have to write a lot, so some of it isn't that good." (And yeah - maybe cutting down on the sheer quantity of articles might be a good idea if that is the case.)

embellisher said...

That's when I knew that the investors want some interest on their 27M and won't care how they get it:

no stats (cause then everyone would be like, oh what, to hell with showcases and renewing, bump that!)


letting everybody and their mother with employees in. Yeah, having a fashion designer with employees on etsyfinds, like now one was going to notice.

Just come the hell out and say a spade is a spade and lose the effing tagline already.

Charlotte Marie said...

Disgusted but not suprised by this latest move by Etsy to silence critics.

And as much as I've enjoyed the witty writing and investigations, where has all the bitching got us? Etsy is still an imcompetent site and getting worse everyday. The new CEO changed nothing. Storque articles regularly offend and disgust members and potential customers. What is there to hope for anymore? Really, it's time to beat them at their own game.

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Quotables: Things that make you go "hmmmmmmmmmm"

Back to the Future (Vintage style)

I just want to make sure that I correct about this before I flag an item or contact the seller. I found a digital camera that is tagged as "vintage". Digital cameras are not 20+ years old, are they? The camera is made to look like a vintage camera, but I don't think it can actually be labeled vintage. Am I wrong?

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Help us out, EB Readers

Hey there, EB readers. We need a hand with something, and we hope you can help us out.

We're looking for links to shops on Etsy selling resold and mass-produced items. We know they're there, you know they're there, so help us put together a list for a little somethin' special.

Send us the links via email. We just ask two things:

1. Don't post the links in the comments. Just email them to us. Your anonymity is assured and will not be published anywhere. Using an email pseudonym is fine too, we don't need to know who you are for this exercise.

2. Only send us links that you know are resellers, not ones you think are resellers. And by "know", we mean that either they give information in their shop announcement/profile showing they are resellers, or that you have found the exact same items being sold elsewhere on the internet mass-produced style. Either way, give us some supporting info for your claim.

Thanks in advance, and bitch on!

EB Comments of the Week, August 12th Part 1

impetuous said...

I wait until the face frowns. I like to see Etsy get pissed.

Ladies Auxilliary said...

Maybe Etsy can knit itself a customer service department.

caethes said...

Nonononono! You don't understand! It's a cunning (and cleverly hidden) promo for international sellers, to keep them happy and distracted from all the other problems.

Elizabeth nominated...

Back to School showcase is ONLY clothing.

Great.

Perhaps I should roll out my line of Back-to-School Birthday Suits, and throw in a "free" dorm quilt with every purchase.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

godot said...

The guy at the top proudly proclaimed he crafted a fake id to go to college. What makes you think anyone else at etsy has integrity?

What makes me steam is the crap that has gone on since Maria took over. Either she can't reign in the employees, or she's really there for an entirely different purpose.

caethes said...

And Etsy dumps Paraquat on it's grassroots once again!

Every time I
think they can't get any worse -and then they do.

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Another Mute Salute

We had the unfortunate pleasure of being entrusted with the news that several longstanding Etsy members were muted in the forums once admins returned to work on Monday and others have been sent formal warning letters. Ooooh, big bad scary admin. 'Don't work weekends and carry a big stick' isn't exactly the Teddy Roosevelt quote you all are trying for.

Supposedly, this thread got out of hand around page 54, though we think if admin had shut it sooner, or muted one person preemptively based on problems in other threads over the course of several months, it would have solved the problem of muting 5, possibly more, people. Which begs the question, does Etsy have a troll on the payroll?

The following people are now entitled to use the EB star or overlay when they can change their avatars in a week (Some have emailed us directly, others have been included by fellow mutees, please correct us if we get it wrong):

SocoCreative

SherryTruitt

MorganSilks

Meringueshop

TwigandHeather

For taking Etsy to task and trying to make Etsy a better place, we salute you!

From the Bitches Auxiliary: The Sexiness of Bonnie and Clyde

TEN THINGS SEXIER THAN DRIVING CROSS COUNTRY WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND ON A MURDER SPREE AND DYING IN A HAIL OF BULLETS

1. Strawberries dipped in chocolate

2. Boy shorts

3. Driving to Ikea with your boyfriend

4. Assembling the HURJIT dining set

5. Barry White's "Let's Get it On"

6. Ping Pong balls

7. A moonlit stroll along the beach

8. That weird no-man's land where Burton Way, San Vicente and La Cienega Boulevard all come together

9. Christian Bale in The Dark Night

10. Christian Bale in The Machinist

Hooray for romanticizing criminals!

In the Storque, TeenAngster runs a feature on looking like Bonnie Parker, from the infamous Bonnie and Clyde duo. In it, they summarize the sordid tale as sexy and romantic.

Bonnie and Clyde are rather infamous characters in U.S. history, and for good reason: honestly, what's sexier than a nefarious duo driving cross country on a crime spree of such massive and public proportion? Their exploits were legendary, their inevitable ends simultaneously tragic and oh-so-romantic.

There's nothing more romantic than having your hand blown to bits by gunfire, while the other is clutching a pack of cigarettes, and then end up on display like this:

Yeah, yeah, Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty made it a Hollywood hit, but in reality, Bonnie Parker was nothing more than a common criminal who supported her insane boyfriend's murdering spree. She's not worthy of having a trend of fashion for her, and even further perpetuating the falsehood that Hollywood began is just plain ignorant.

Besides, Faye's look wasn't even remotely Bonnie's look. Just look at the pictures of the real Bonnie Parker. It would be more apropos to call the article "Get the vintage Faye Dunaway look" instead of glamorizing a criminal. Its not sexy or romantic to end up like a dead corpse in a morgue.

Quotables: Locked so fast it'll make your head spin

MaryMary responds in a flash!

...the point my post is to express how annoyed I am at constantly having to apologize for Etsy...sorry you lost the contents of your cart when you went back, sorry you didn’t realize prices are in USD, if you squint and take a closer look you can see a tiny USD sign on each listing, sorry Etsy doesn’t make that clearer for international buyers, sorry that you found the check-out process difficult to follow, sorry you thought you’d paid but you didn’t, etc.

Oh and both situations have been solved so I don’t need solutions, I just wanted to say that I don’t think either incident should have happened in the first place, and I shouldn’t have to go into damage control and endless explanations and apologies every time I sell something.

I’m sick of apologizing for Etsy, I don’t want any fancy tools, all I want is for my customers to be able to find me, add my items to their cart, not be surprised that my prices are in USD, check-out, and pay, surely that’s not too much to ask for.

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For Shame: Updated

Storque article

CCCOE Team Thread

To buy raffle tickets (Drawing is tomorrow Aug 9th)

Matt posted the following in the comments section for the Dorque article (yes I know it's called Storque - but Dorque just feels so much more accurate).

In recognition of a worthy cause, Etsy today donated $250 directly to the New Directions charity (http://www.ndvets.com). The SoCal Bench Project Etsy Team is holding an event this weekend to support veterans through this organization.

Etsy previously announced that the SoCal Bench Project Etsy team would receive a $200 grant to help offset the printing costs associated with this event. The Grant was not ultimately funded because deadlines were missed. We apologize for the poor timing of these announcements.

Etsy Grants is a new program designed to help Etsy Teams hold events and promote their shops and Etsy. It’s important that Etsy diligently adhere to the rules and deadlines associated with the Grants Program so that we can be responsible stewards of our funds and so that we can offer monies in a timely way.

We understand that our communication around this specific Grant could have been better. And, while we remain committed to enforcing the rules and deadlines associated with the Grants Program, we don’t want the New Directions charity to miss out on this opportunity to positively interact with Etsy sellers and Etsy.

To avoid this type of confusion in the future, Team Grant winners will now be announced after the Grant funds have been submitted to the Team.

Thank you.

Word is donations and raffle tickets are flying in after the news of this debauchle broke, and many of the 'Bitches' have made personal donations as have many of our readers as well other Etsy folk to the point they are "overwhelmed" by the response and processing. That is fantastic!

Being that EB Never misses a chance to make Etsy look as bad as they truly are we've also donated (as a group) the amount of $50.00 to the team itself to try to help cover the intital costs they originally applied for. Use it in good health folks - from us to you.

For Shame!

We here at EB are in absolute shock.

We knew Etsy could stoop low, but they have hit a new level of shame. One of last month's team grant winners, who was relying on the money to cover costs of a charitable event in California for one of the largest street teams, is not receiving the money. Why? We can't figure it out.

One of the organizers posted about it on her blog:

We applied for an Etsy grant and were awarded a team grant in July by Etsy Teams. We had to write up a grant proposal and submit it by July 15th. After being awarded the grant we were told that therewere two deadlines, one on July 24th for a printers proof and the other on July 31st where we were to submit receipts. Both of these tasks were completed in a timely manner.

Yesterday, just three days before The SoCal Bench Project Artisan Fair I received an email from Etsy Teams saying that they had emailed us last week saying that they were not going to give us a grant; claiming that we had not sent our proofs in on time and that they were a few days late. Silly, we had our event postcards printed a month before we even applied for the grant; it took me all of two seconds to forward them a jpg of our postcards. I was speechless for a few minutes before the anger sunk in.

First of all, everything was sent in when it was supposed to be. Secondly, we never heard any confirmation from Etsy that they received our information. No communication from them at all. Etsy's regular modus operandi. Etsy Teams said, "... Because we give out several grants each month and need to have them wrapped up before the following month's grants are awarded, we must stick strictly to the scheduled deadlines." When has Etsy EVER followed even their own guidelines. They do whatever they want so that it fits their needs. Hell, they don't even adhere to their own rules and guidelines.

Street teams have been the heart of Etsy's marketing. They are the grassroots underbelly that keeps that beast moving. And they do this bullshit to them?! I thought it was bad when they said street teams couldn't use the Etsy name, the well crafted Etsy banners were not being allowed to be used, and that they started the team grant program rather than supporting the teams as they had previously by helping with fairs, shows, fliers, etc., but this takes the frickin' cupcake.

Quotables: Ponderables

Summarized nicely

You have to wonder why a site that has actually left the definition of handmade behind, and works constantly to shine its headlights on trends, throw-away and poorly made products and encourages sellers to underprice would be able to come up with a wide-appeal advertising campaign. They needed to bring in a PR consultant 2 years ago. Advertising on and off the site hasn't changed or increased to meet the needs of hundreds of thousands of sellers, and the thousands that are added each month.

Moving

The further etsy moves away from helping the individual artist, the less hope there is that they will start doing the right thing for this site and it's reputation.

Success is so 80's

there's not many businesses that don't want to become huge and successful. maybe etsy is one of those i don't know.

Alchemy

When I really want to make myself good and mad dog-angry, I just browse a little bit through all of the amazing oppertunities available in Alchemy and then I decide to go walk barefoot in glass shards instead.

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"Look Honey - A Back-to-School Promotion!!"

Quicker than you can say "Oh shit, we forgot!" those fab Etsy Admins have slapped together a "promotion" for the Back-to-School and Off-to-College Etsy buyers.

Did they make an announcement in the Forums? Yeah on page six of this thread. Send out an email announcement? Um, that would be like spam. Buy ad space in Bust magazine? Hellz NO! That would cost money!

So the fine folks at Etsy put up a Storque article announcing a Back-to-School showcase that goes on sale, tomorrow. But don't bother buying, unless you're selling clothing. Apparently, that's the only category worth promoting.

From the Auxiliary: Marketing Etsy Style

Now you and I know a good a bit about marketing just from being aware of the world around us. We know stores carry goods for the upcoming season, not for the season that is ending. We also understand why; people generally like to buy goods that they soon will need, not goods they will need eventually and have to store for awhile.

But Etsy is smarter than that. That is why they will be starting the "Back to School" feature after most students are actually back in school. I am sure that there will be millions of people out there who after their first few days in school will say, "I hate this Walmart junk, it's destroying my soul," come to Etsy, see the "Back to School" promotion, and start shopping. It is much more likely than people coming to Etsy before school starts and going shopping for school related items. Maybe. Not.

Will they start the Halloween promotions in late October? Will Winter Holiday features come in mid-December? Do they know shipping takes time too, so they need to plan that much more ahead? Do we have to send them a calendar with dates circled for when they should start these seasonal promotions? And most importantly, will my shop be mysteriously closed if I do send them a calendar with... umm, strongly worded directions?

The author of the above is right. Etsy is yet again dropping the marketing clue ball.

Several years ago Food Network (finally!) caught on that showing programs packed with delectable Christmas recipes would be more useful in November when you are beginning to think what you want to serve on the big day. Every year I would bitch at the screen "It's 11pm December 23rd! Why show me this now!? I needed this a week ago!" Now they are two weeks to a month ahead of major holiday binge fests. Now on Xmas day you watch shows for appetizers and tasty kibbles for your New Years parties.

The B&M guys have known this marketing fast forward for decades, that's why you have known since birth that the day after Thanksgiving is the official start of Xmas.

Can't Etsy do ONE thing in symmetry with any other retailing standard?

Don't Mail That!!

Since Etsy cannot seem to figure out how to add disclaimers to their Storque 'articles', we at EB are providing them ourselves. Luckily, we have many readers who are helping us sort through the mess.

Today's gem of wisdom is to always check with the postal regulations before mailing out what Etsy calls a "postcard". According to the Storque, you can knit one!

Just don't mail it on its own! According to the United States Postal Service a postcard is rectangular, at least 3-1/2 inches high x 5 inches long x 0.007 inch thick, and no more than 4-1/4 inches high x 6 inches long x 0.016 inches thick. It also has to be capable of being stamped with a postmark. Sorry, but knitting does not qualify. It will have to be in an envelope and will probably be too thick to be a letter and have to go parcel. A BIG difference from a postcard! For more information on mailability see here. (Disclaimer: Other countries may have different regulations)

It's nice to know that an ecommerce site cannot sort out the semantics of a term used to identify a mailed item. How about a knitted "card", Etsy?!

Paying Debts Shouldn't Be So Hard

Surprise, surprise - a glitch

If you go to pay your Etsy bill and get a decline notice, check with your credit card/bank before attempting to pay again! Several users have reported double payments to Etsy because the decline notice Etsy gave them in billpay WAS NOT ACCURATE. The payments went through.

I personally agree with Ozarknana:

HHHMMMM, think I'll wait to pay mine until this bug gets worked out....bet they
jump on this one if they want to get paid this month!

Anyone remember the double billing fiasco when billpay was finally reinstated last year? And the lack of an autobilling feature that people thought was being used, but their bills weren't being paid so they had hundreds they owed Etsy when the new late system came into effect in January?

Yeah...good times.

Since there are no late fees and they don't prevent listing unless you're 2 months late, there's no penalty for waiting until the bug is fixed. Don't chance paying Etsy too much, it's your time wasted to call the credit card company and get your money back. Also, who knows if Etsy will register the payment even if they have the money. And we all know what it's like to deal with their 'customer service' reps.

Etsy seller: "I paid my bill, here's the confirmation number my CC company gave me."
Support: "What about shiny things?"
ES: "No, I said I paid my bill already. But the page says I didn't."
Support: "Oh, well that's because the card was declined."
ES: "But my CC company says they paid you."
Support: "They're lying."
ES: "What?"
Support: "Your bill is late."
ES: "IT'S NOT LATE!"
Support: "Yes it is. Did you try clearing your cache before calling your bank?"
ES: "WTF?!"
Support: "Don't get snippy with me. Here, have a cupcake"
ES: "I don't want a fucking cupcake. I don't want fucking shiny things. I want the system to register the money I gave you."
Support: "Your bill is late. mmm cupcakes nomnomnom"

Quotables: A Few Random Funnies

All your questions answered (great thread!)

Q: How long should I wait for my purchase to arrive before contacting Etsy?
A: A month or two. You have to understand, some sellers actually sell 2 or 3 items a week. This shit takes time to put into a recycled cereal box and padded with old dirty newspaper. What's the big rush?

Screwing

If I did something like that, I'd probably screw up and give myself negative feedback.

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EB Comments of the Week, August 1st

I am SO the boss of you! said...

Etsy is like a box of stale chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

Wende said...

Oh geeze, cut Cupcake boy some slack. You know he meant to say, "63 people are making a living off the backs of 200,000 sellers."

eclipse said...

nail polish on men is hot, but NOT coral. Black or silver or cobalt blue. Coral is for old ladies at the early bird dinner in Boca Raton.

emndyaz said...

I am SO glad I do not have to have

A)sex

or

B)Christmas

with him.

Where O'Where did Customer Service Go on Etsy?

EB was so shocked to read (and got tons of tips about) the latest Storque addition to their exhaustive, pompous, and fatuous Service Tips for Sellers Series, that we just had to highlight the following sections for you:

"Good service solves a problem, even before a customer knows that they have one. It is delivering what people expect to receive. To achieve great service is to get below the surface of the an issue and deliver solutions that no one expects."

"Great service is listening, learning, assessing, and ultimately refining your approach..."

"Great service isn't easy to achieve... Ultimately, great service requires sound judgment every day to adapt to the needs of the customer... This is a process Etsy.com is constantly refining as well."

While EB wholeheartedly agrees with many of the customer service tips that are ACTUALLY PRACTICED by the companies Etsy listed (Zappos, Amazon and The Container Store) we are still searching for a formal Customer Service Policy on Etsy, where Etsy is actually taking care of sellers’ questions and needs on a daily basis.

We could provide a list of great service that Etsy DOES NOT provide, but we get caught up in the bannings, mutings, and odd Town Meetings that are set up to confuse sellers and still not make changes sellers want – and need.

Maybe because Etsy found out that "Great service isn’t easy to achieve" Etsy figured it was just too much work to provide professional, consistent, and timely customer service. Why, Etsy is so busy learning about other companies that do it right, and doing hundreds of other things that have no impact on ecommerce and seller support, that they FORGOT to practice what they now preach.

Etsy also forgot WHO their primary customers are - the sellers.