Friday, November 20, 2009

Bitches' Auxiliary - New Hires

Yep, Etsy has added yet another engineer to their force. Ever wonder what the resumes look like for these creme de la creme Chad chooses? Unfortunately, they laid it out in the Dorque announcement.

This email we received just about sums it up!


Etsy hires a friend who has no e-commerce background. But what the heck, he plays a mean banjo and knows a lot about social networking. And isn't that what it's all about? Just folks, hangin, talking, pickin git fiddles and watchin the little uns roll around on the floor? Forget making the site about sales. "It's not about the money man, it's about the people. Anyone who is in business for the money is just an evil breadhead. Pass me that joint, brah."

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Best Thread Title: “Is this a Bug or a New Change?”

Hats off to all the sellers who diligently report daily BUGS in the ever-changing, weirdly morphing, almost unshoppable site - Etsy!

Etsy is so unstable, sellers don’t know whether it’s a bug or a new Etsy feature dropped on sellers like an iron anvil right smack in the middle of the holiday selling weeks!

Etsy pays little attention, but when they do, like lisajune finally did to the pesky shopping cart time-outs, they tell sellers AND customers to send MORE DETAILS in emails that, admittedly, MIGHT NOT even make it through the silly, old support@ system!!!

Etsy, the site that makes it impossible for most sellers to sell!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Forget about “Code Lockdown” Already Etsy?

Hey Etsy! It’s the start of the holiday retail season, and you can STOP with the daily announcments, tweaks, changes, buttons here buttons there and STOP STOP STOP everything until January 1st.


You should have done all your changes, tweaks and site "improvements" in August, NOT IN THE SECOND WEEK OF NOVEMBER!

What the hell are you thinking?


Do sellers a favor and go on an extended vacation for 6-8 weeks, we’ll maybe (and that’s a big maybe) see you next year.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

EB Gift Guides 2

Here are today's picks. Stay tuned for next Saturday's GG!

Etsy
Buy Handmade

Saturday, November 14, 2009

EB Gift Guides 1



Row 1 (From Left to Right)

http://hideebug.etsy.com
http://RDGDesigns.etsy.com
http://NewEnergy.etsy.com
http://peggysu1464.etsy.com

Row 2 (Left to Right)

http://scrubyourbutt.etsy.com
http://scrumpdilyumptious.etsy.com
http://ivydee.etsy.com
http://kahlaw.etsy.com

Row 3 (Left to Right)

http://whatsbuzzin.etsy.com
http://handhelddezigns.etsy.com
http://AimeeArtz.etsy.com
http://brennabay.etsy.com

Row 4 (Left to Right)

http://fancyfootwrkspottery.etsy.com

http://clearmountaincraft.etsy.com
http://SteamBathFactory.etsy.com
http://mermaidsdream.etsy.com

Friday, November 13, 2009

Happy Holidays!

So, nows the time to help those who are never seen by those hipster assholes called Admin.

E-mail me your favorite sellers who are not recognized by Admin, and we're gonna create our own gift guides to be featured by the 20 every Saturday and Sunday until Christmas. Don't be overzealous though, and only send in a few for each week. :D Give people a shot at making it, so we have a good variety!

Send those e-mails to etsybiatch@gmail.com with the headline EB Gift Guides!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

No, its not okay to do it again, Etsy.

The Gift Guide button is back. This time, its huge, orange and ugly. It draws people away from our shops.

They did this around this time last year and it wasn't okay then. I wonder what made them think it is okay now? Oh, that's right, they don't think. I don't think they have any more common sense than a two year old.

Voice your disgust in this thread here.

EDIT

Yay! They've taken it down.. For now.

Let's Find the Admin Redux

A little over a year ago we published a list of admin accounts, including those of known spouses and parents. At that time, there were 23 admin with 34 shops between them, and admin held at least 95 usernames. Since that time, at least 14 admin have left Etsy, and many many more have been hired, with admin now holding more than 125 usernames (142 counting alumni) - some having more than one shop that is currently active.

The past year has seen the introduction of titles (CEO, CCO, VP of Product Management, etc) and new department structures. What the past year hasn't seen is better disclosure of admin accounts. There are at least 10 accounts previously said to be admin that have no profile information by which to identify them. They appear to be mainly test accounts, and are possible former admin (in addition to the aforementioned 14), as they are primarily engineers. There are 11 engineers listed on the About page (and one support member) who have no accounts or information attributed to them at all. In total, there are more than 22 engineers working at Etsy. TWENTY-FUCKING-TWO (including one dog...go figure), not counting the unmarked profiles just mentioned and not counting the CTO Chad, and yet the site runs so horribly and they had to postpone an update because the wife of one engineer was having a baby. WTF?

By the way, the About page does not include the new SEO consultant and the EtsyHacks guy, the two most recent hires we're aware of. The about page itself is horribly uninformative.

We've fully updated the admin listing post, now including links to the About articles in the Storque when available, and we'll continue to update the post as admin come and go. We're maintaining the original post in order to ensure that any information we put out there is current, and we're noting the most recent date when that information was altered.

You can always find the list by using the link on the left sidebar.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

#etsyfail

The response to the issues regarding refunds on cancelled sales is still getting the same cut and paste response from Etsy admin. We've seen this before, where Etsy puts up their brick wall and refuses to acknowledge their customers - until they raise a big enough stink.

Well, the stink is going to Twitter (the quoted tweet has one "please" cut for Twitter length requirements):

#etsyfail Please RT Etsy re-think the non-refundable sales fees on returns! http://bit.ly/1gfJOD doubledippingetsy http://bit.ly/3K2lyp


Let's make Etsy rethink their accusatory unfairness and let us pull our pants up for a change.

Friday, November 6, 2009

QYDJ & Other Etsy Myths

MYTH #1: QYDJ

Only applies to shops making/selling stuff in the distinct Etsy style, working ‘round the clock, and secretly employing lots of "santa’s helpers." An obvious and rather worn out, boring ploy to get more sellers to make & list Etsy-brandable (and usually low-priced) products. You have to be in it (lock, stock & barrel) to win it!

MYTH #2: SHOWCASES WILL GET YOU SALES

Etsy’s added so many Showcases and sub-sub-sub-subcategory Showcases that most shoppers don’t look & don’t care. Hidden in remote corners of the site or obliterated by competing Etsy-controlled promos, they're the biggest cash cow on Etsy, at sellers’ expense. We refer you to the hundreds of forums posts on sellers’ own experiences saying they're not worth the money. In fact, this is akin to opening your window and throwing out a wad of $5 bills with nothing to show for it. Total seller rip-off.

MYTH #3: FRONT PAGE TREASURIES ARE CURATED BY SELLERS

For the last 12 months, more than 50% (at least) of the FPT's are picked by the same Etsy Admins who also pick the FS, GG’s, Finds, and write all the blog posts about a small selection of stores on the site. Rumor is that Etsy also edits the seller-picked-FPT’s that do get to the Front Page. Still wonder why everything looks the same?

MYTH #4: SENDING AN EMAIL TO SUPPORT@Etsy WILL GET YOU THE INFO YOU NEED WHEN YOU NEED IT

A real shot in the dark. Not only does your email go into Etsy cyberspace, you never know who will answer it, when they’ll answer it, and if they actually read your email request to begin with. Caution: Many responses, if at all, will be cut and pasted from Etsy’s list of "take it or leave it" formula answers. (Double Warning: Not the same thing as email to you from content@etsy making (too often false) accusations about violations in your store, hmph, try getting those straightened out before the brick wall descends without notice.) Sometimes, Etsy just likes hassling sellers, it’s fun! Brings out the best in their personalities!

MYTH #5 YOU CAN GET THE HELP YOU NEED IN THE FORUMS

Try finding facts and real help in the forums, we’ll see you after 3 weeks while you look for it. A real hotbed of misinformation, blatant seller-self-promotion, and way too many damn sections that have nothing to do with selling. Avoid the Bug Reports at all costs, because Etsy does too. Go ahead and avoid the forums altogether since "mutes" are contagious (as well as vindictive and ridiculous). Caution: reading the Admin Announcements, aka Edicts, may be hazardous to your health -they’ll send you to read a 20 page blog post (with branded-promo pix!) - avoid them like the plague!

MYTH #6: THE SITE FOR ALL THINGS HANDMADE

Well, we all know what happened to THAT starting in earnest 12 months ago, when the branding frenzy began, turning Etsy into a site for all things in the distinct Etsy style, screw the sellers. Enter at your own peril, shoppers and sellers alike. Remember who’s raking in the dough (and turns a deaf ear to seller complaints with a lock and mute) while you work your asses off with so little in return. Happy holidays with no sales on Etsy! The site that makes it impossible for most sellers to sell!

MYTH #7 ETSY IS JUST A VENUE

Yes, that's what it says in the Terms of Use, but we all know it isn't true. If admin likes you, you'll be promoted left and right; if you aren't completely agreeable, you'll find your fees taken and shop brick walled. Don't try asking questions about SEO, don't worry about mistagging and flagging, and don't try rectifying shopping cart issues or nonpayments...you'll just end up on their blacklist. They're not a venue, they're a popularity contest.