Friday, April 15, 2011

You need to take better pictures, no wait...

If you've sold or tried to sell anything on Etsy and tried seeking 'critiques' to see why your shop wasn't selling then you've heard the tired old line: "you need to take better pictures."

Now the marvelous circle jerk team aka Etsy 'engineering' has rolled out new quality image improvements. Tooting their horn, Etsy engineers have "built a new system for processing, resizing, and storing the image files that you upload to the site."

Well good job Etsy! The opening post shows a shop banner before the improvements, and after the improvements. There's only one problem; try as you might, you really can't discern any improvements. Some even dared to mention this to the circle jerk crew right in the middle of their mutual self-congratulatory phase. That's when Captain Obtuse, aka mgineer/Matt admits:

That sample banner is a case where there isn't much difference between the before and after. One characteristic of banners is that they are sometimes better suited to GIF or PNG format. Since our system only supports JPEG right now, we have to convert them, which can lower the quality. This change is the first step in a series of changes to make it possible to upload a PNG or GIF and have the site display it that way instead of converting it.

I'm sorry mgineer, did you just say that you guys implemented a system which will make some of our pictures look shittier? Really? Oh and while your at it, could you guys think far enough in the future to show a banner that signifigantly show your "improvements?"

The ultimate goal here is apparently to give everyone the option to upload images in .gif and .png as well as .jpeg. Yet - get this - Etsy's system still does not render any uploaded .gif or .png images well. So the engineers recommend that you convert them to .jpg yourself before uploading them "for a little while longer."

Highlighted Admin posts further dig a contradictory hole:
The feature is more a means of providing extra help to make your pictures appear just a little bit brighter or a little bit sharper.

Which is it ya geniuses? Are you helping us make our photos "better"? Or "lowering the quality?" Some post that they can see the difference, others not, to which Admin helpfully comments:
To those of you who can't see a difference, great! You see Etsy in it's most beautiful state. To those who do see a difference, great! Get ready to experience Etsy in all her glory.

Get that folks? Etsy is a girl. Write that down.

So the upshot of this? Your avatar, your shop banner, your product images will get a little "help" from Etsy. Yes, that's right folks - particularly you photographers - Etsy has changed how they tweak images.

Oh, before I close this post, let me note that:
The team working on this deserves a huge public thank you, so...thanks, guys!
You've put in a ton of effort making this rock.

Oh yeah guys..... you really rock. *eyeroll*

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

It's not me, it's you.

Have you ever wondered what goes through RevolvingDork's head when we complain about a technical error on Etsy? I figure it goes a little something like this:

  • Next time make sure to clear your cache.
  • If that doesn't work, reboot your computer.
  • If that doesn't work, make sure you have all updates for your computer.
  • If that doesn't work, download Mozilla Firefox, Opera, Unix, delete Vista and go back to XP.
  • If that doesn't work, shut down your computer, unplug everything, replug everything, turn your computer back on.
  • If that doesn't work, shut down your computer, leave your house, drive to your local computer retailer, spend at least $500 on a new computer, drive home, plug in, start up.
  • If that doesn't work, you might as well just hang yourself because it sure as hell isn't a problem on OUR end.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

New Etsy "enhancements" - joy!

After two years they have finally caved in and let us be able to rearrange pictures. It's a kind of crappy implementation of it. Most sites use some kind of flash or ajax to let you drag pictures around, etsy? Arrows. Cumbersome arows.

18 months of bitching well spent.

Other announcements were that they have added a collectibles section (which should finally shut the ACEO people the hell up), and that they have a new site to go to in the sure event that Etsy goes down for some reason and are spasming for info.

This seems to be another half-assed way to providing a fix to this old web dog. Take Flickr as a example of a nice way it can be done. When they go down they have a page come up (or more likely they set up a redirect) to a page that informs you "Flickr is getting a massage" and that you should visit the Flickr Blog for further updates. It's assuring, since they appear to know it's a problem, and informative as well as convenient. It also lets you know backup systems are in place.

Etsy can't even make that middle step, instead they provide you the info in advance and you have to know it's there for you to be able to go to it. You can't be automatically directed to it when you need it because that would 1: make sense and 2: require more infrastructure, and Etsy higher ups can't spell that.