Etsy Never Learns

I apologize we haven't had the time to get to this topic earlier this week, but surprisingly our lives don't always revolve around Etsy and their nearly continually occurring social atrocities but we've been chewing over what to say for a few days so here we go...

This weekend Etsy posted a Dorque article from a Guest named Temple St. Clair on the apparent immorality of coral. And the sellers went insane with rage over this, decrying you can buy coral and coral items on Etsy, and that no sister article accompanied it to inform about more "ethical" and entirely legal means for coral. It was even accompanied by a link to the sellers own *OFF SITE* website where she boats selling her pieces at Macy's and Barney's other upscale retailers which of course brought on cries that the writer should not have been given space at all, or that her status as a non-etsy seller gaves her somehow more authority and Etsy is promoting someone obviously in need of no promotion. Not to mention the request for readers to sign a pledge to not buy coral... on a site that sells coral.

While Etsy seems to want to be the New York Times and offer up challenging informative articles in the Dorque they can never pull off doing it right. They can't even comprehend how to present these issue articles, some of which can be very important information that should be shared, to a creative community of makers and sellers without it coming off as a slapdown as they currently make no distinction that the articles are in anyway are not "sanctioned" by Etsy but instead of a guest viewpoint. This is where they spin off the tracks of logic.

When media outlets allow non-staff to post articles on, they are called "Guest Editorials" or the like. (Even we make it clear when we post a article written by someone other than us with our "Ladies Auxillary" postings.) Most large outlets usually have a short bio next to a by line picture at the front or end of the piece making clear that the writer is a guest contributor and NOT with the venue, and her view points are her/his own. This is a long established way to do this, you barely have to even pay attention to notice that's how things are done. That's the problem, Etsy doesn't notice anything without a mustache attached to it and had they simply conformed to this one little convention this all might have been avoided. But then convention has always been too conventional for Etsy even though most of the time there is a damned good reason for it.

When an article by a successful off-Etsy jewlery designer is featured such as this you give them a great deal of authority. An authority that may or may not be deserved, that is why sometimes outlets will also offer a countering article with the other side, in this case one about legal and ethical coral, and coral alternatives would have been extremely appropriate and welcomed I think, but then the writer of that might not be some fancy pants designer that someone at Etsy peed their pants over getting an email from.

Of course, since this implosion the forums have been on fire, even the ideas forum is filling up with seller disgust, and moderators are busy shutting down topics as fast as they open, or shoving them into Etc or the like. They are scrambling to cover it all up like a handknitted cozy for a heating duct. The one thing you can consistently say about etsy is they don't take well to criticism in anyway. I'm expecting more mutings and banning this week to remind us all that Etsy is never wrong.

Plain and simple, I call bullshit on the "Pay to Play" shenanigans. This article and Etsy's endorsement of the petition St. Claire (really, what kind of fucking hipster name is that?!) was panhandling, is appalling at the least, and well at the most, I think all coral sellers should move to where they feel welcome because Etsy really doesn't give a damn about you or that you are receiving harassing posts from stupid fucking Cupcakes.

Do with it as you will, but once again, Etsy has proven that they're nothing more than brainless Hipster twits.

Response from admin in Announcements has been:

"Etsy Admin
julietgo says:
Hi everyone,

I'm Etsy's editorial director and I want you to know that I and all the blog editors have been carefully reading and discussing your feedback on the coral preservation article. Our aim in publishing this blog post was to raise awareness and provoke reflection about an under-recognized issue. It was absolutely not our intention to call out or cast a negative light on any Etsy seller. We come to work every day trying to build a better business for you, truly! So to anyone who felt unwelcome, my apologies. Our policies about what can be sold on Etsy are unchanged.

To clarify regarding questions that have been raised about our editorial policies, there is no "pay for play" on Etsy. No one can purchase editorial coverage.

Best,
Juliet"

This has since been further updated under the above:

Hello everyone,

I’m back to clarify a few things about our editorial policies.

First of all, I want to reiterate that there is no "pay for play" on Etsy’s blog. Some members have been wondering about contracts and terms of agreement between us and outside contributors. Etsy does not accept payment in exchange for editorial coverage, not in this case and not ever.

Your feedback on the coral article has made us recognize the need to clarify our internal guidelines on publishing opinions. We didn’t sufficiently vet the point of view to make sure it complied with Etsy's broader policies. (Coral is not a prohibited item on Etsy. Each seller does need to ensure that his or her use of the site complies with all applicable laws; that includes any regulations or restrictions for the sale of coral. Beyond the legal issues, however, Etsy members are responsible for making important moral or ethical decisions regarding what they buy and sell.) We also should have better anticipated the countervailing view. And if we still wanted to address the subject, we should have sought to introduce more balance and clearly labeled it as opinion, which reflects the point of view of its author and not Etsy as a company. You’ll see the results of our toothier internal guidelines in our future coverage.

Lastly, I’d like to step back from the specific content of this debate to make a general point about contributors to our blog who are new members of Etsy. We have a long history of featuring guests. They bring our community into conversation with the wider world, spark new ideas and by driving their audience to the blog, help raise awareness of Etsy with people who are not yet familiar with us. I understand why many of you were frustrated by this particular instance of a contribution by someone without long standing in the community. But I want to be clear that broadly speaking, a contributor’s history (or lack of) with Etsy is not a factor in whether we collaborate with them. The decision generally lies in whether the ideas they want to share are substantive and relevant to our readers.

We greatly appreciate the constructive feedback, as it will help us do better by you next time.

Best,
Juliet

Black Friday/Cyber Monday and More Etsy Crap

Always pitifully late to the party, Etsy published their "plan" for Black Friday/Cyber Monday on November 20, and guess what sellers? It’s a list of what sellers can do to lose more money on Etsy!

Yes, you too can:
1. Lower your prices to below-below cost!

2. Label everything in your store BARGAIN! DISCOUNT! 99% OFF!
2. Offer FREE SHIPPING and lose big piles of money fast!
3. Market Etsy for free all over cyberspace and provide even MORE free labor than usual!


Sure looks like marymary did it again! Slapped together a crappy plan in 5 minutes to make it look like Etsy's doing something for sellers when it’s all about WHAT SELLERS CAN DO FOR ETSY! How much lower can you go Etsy?


Thanks Mary for giving sellers even more work to do to NOT sell a damn thing on Etsy!

The Dorque Gets a Facelift?

Well, Vanessa, this little ditty just made our day. With the usual accompanying Dorque post that goes on (and on) about the FINAL TOUCHES to ETSY BRANDING that started with a site for selling all things handmade, and turned into a self-proclaimed "online style magazine" for people who are willing to make and list what Etsy tells them to!

Oh my, and here we were, wondering what the hell Etsy Admins do all day, busy as cute little felted furry bees making sure the entire site is a cookie-cutter orange brand statement from its Front Page to its adorable little pencilled characters frolicking though the cupcaked tulips!

Despite the time of year (holidays coming, remember them Etsy?)and the scads of new rules (all the better to bonk sellers on their heads!) we are so relieved to see what’s important to Etsy------- and that’s the Brand!


No new listing template, no more secure shopping cart, no solution to NPB's and resellers, no coupon codes, no customer service department, no new promotions, or just about anything else meant to support and help sellers (other than faves) SELL on Etsy!

The circle of Etsy Fail is complete!

Etsy Holiday Gifts Trendsetter? NOT!

Just as EB predicted, all that maintenance downtime on Etsy has resulted in a new blog post by tag-errific emilybidwell with her collection of Etsy’s pre-season picks for the Holiday Gift Guides,
which are delightfully described in her words as: "....a small selection of the captivating gift ideas you'll soon be drooling over..."

While we wait in drool-drenched anticipation for these same items to show up on the front page (again) day in and day out in December, anything else in that "distinct Etsy style" you want sellers to start making priced below cost?

Etsy's Vintage Faux Pas

Etsy's guidelines on vintage are that the item must be 20 years old or older. So stuff labeled 1990s should be unacceptable.

Unless you're admin and think it's cool. Etsy had a Storque article dedicated to grunge, with labels like "1990s" and "90s"...ummm that wasn't 20 years ago. Now, the items actually featured were those labeled as vintage and appear to be older than 1990 (some look like they're actually from the 70s, real good "grunge" there) or handmade grunge inspired items. So it's not about the sellers chosen, it's about admin's inability to count. Oh, and the fact that it hurts their feelings to be told so.

lisajune closed the "offending" thread with this pity party:

I apologize if you find this feature offensive. Our merchandising team works hard to draw on themes that appeal to a distinct Etsy style and showcase the items in our marketplace in such a way that buyers can't help but admire.

Oh yeah, they work so hard they forgot to learn to count to 20 and to learn the difference between mod and grunge. In fact, many of the items in the feature were mod (i.e. 60s-ish) and not grunge, so they were just using a popular label to get views. Isn't mistagging also against the TOS? Oh wait, that's right, only if you're not admin.

(Thank you to those who sent us the link to the article. You can send tips and rants to etsybiatch@gmail.com)

It’s an Etsy Branded Holiday Season!

It’s ALL up to you, sellers, to jump on the Etsy Brand "formula for success" & brush up on your Etsy-fication by making your reservations for the rest of the Virtual Labs listed in this post from you-know-who!


We're just thankful that we missed the "better photos" Labs since we already covered them.

Clicking on this intriguing "holiday" topic in the Storque (which is so painfully obvious on the top of the new Community Hub page), we thought we’d see a list of new Etsy promotions designed just for Holiday’09 open to ALL sellers to help them promote sales in a year when most sellers need all the promotion help they can get.


Alas, our hopes were quickly dashed when we saw who the advice was coming from and what topics were included. Aren’t there 350 tips just like that in the never-ending "Etsy Handbook"?

We can add our own seminar for the "Etsy holiday rush" — "If you make and list what Etsy likes to promote (so everything on the site looks the same) we’ll promote you for free!"

The rest of the sellers can do what they always do - forget about getting ANY HELP AT ALL from Etsy for the holiday shopping season. Another Etsy "holiday season" that usually starts on December 15, too late to ship one damn thing.


(And how ridiculous is it that they have a jump page between the community page and the Storque? Why can't they just link directly? They already have server issues! -Righteous)

Nickel and Diming

Well well well, it appears that Etsy is skimming a little off the top.

If you're participating in the weekend deals, you're paying Etsy more than 3.5% on that sale, which is what they're contractually supposed to receive. They want you to refund the buyer through Paypal, but that means they get a final value fee on the original cost!

tsk tsk tsk Etsy, you should know by now how these things work, and I bet you thought noone would notice.

By the way, we saw what you did here, skirting the issue and all. Looks like you're planning on nickel and diming until the end of the month.

Rather than putting together a batch price edit, or coupon codes, or some other way to run a sale, they're just letting you pay them a little extra. Aw, how thoughtful of them.

In True Etsy Style

Ah, Etsy, where the admin gather links like nobody's business...

Have you seen the Etsy Seller Handbook! (which is dated Aug 3, 2009 at the time of this blog post)

At first glance it looks like a thorough compilation of information to help newbies wade through information in the Storque...but, aha, some of them are useless! (And listing links to previous entries is one hell of a way to crank out one more Dorque post)

For "beware of spammers" they link to a warning from October 2007 about a then recent spam problem. Only the last line about the abuse email is relevant...they couldn't just extract this bit? They don't even note if it's still the way to report spam in August 2009 (almost 2 years later!).

Heavn forbid they actually do something like compile a useful block of information. Instead they scatter it, link it, scatter it some more, and confuse the hell out of everyone in the process. A reasonably searchable and practical FAQ or Help page would do a lot more for new sellers.

What is YOUR favorite useless bit of information or aspect to the new "handbook"?

Etsy's numbers drop

It's official, June was a bad month for Etsy - sales were down 4% site-wide (both number of items sold and the $ amount sold). Page views decreased almost 3%. New members were down 2%.

BUT the number of items listed was about the same (0.1% decrease, about 1,000 item difference).

However, there were still nearly twice as many items listed per month as sold, which is not good for sellers.

Read all the stats in the Dorque article.

Are these lower views due to the SEO fuck up? Are they due to the economy? Nope, according to Sinohe:

Overall, June results were more or less comparable to May’s after factoring in that there are 30 days in June and 31 in May.

Really? 4% of sales occur each day of the month? So a full month is 120%? Has he ever taken a basic arithmetic class? Even if the average (3-3.3%) was an effect of month length - it never mattered before, Etsy was growing every month regardless (6% in May, 5% in April, 16% in March, 2% in February - which has only 28 days!!) and it still leaves a drop of almost 1%, which is a large number of items when three quarters of a million are sold each month.

Etsy - you've hit your plateau. NOW will you care about your customers?

Join the Etsy Community Council

In case you don't read the Dorque (who does really?) Etsy is forming a seller and shopper focus group to test improvements (supposedly). Yes-men only need apply? We'll see.

Here is the information and application. The application is supposed to close May 29th but is currently unavailable. Why? you may ask. Well, our astute commenters caught forum threads that explain - wait for it - Etsy was directing people to an unsecure site to provide personal information!

By the way, Etsy, there was no all-member email about this! Come on people, how many times do we have to spell this out? C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N...communication.

We'll see if this council ever gets off the ground - for now though, their idiocy is reconfirmed.

Edited 5/19/09 to include new information regarding Etsy's fuckwittery.

From the Bitches' Auxiliary - Credit where credit isn't due

Thought you might find this post in the Storque interesting.

What's particularly bad about this, aside from the immature self-promoting, is the way that Etsy is trying to take credit for the things that its sellers are doing - it's "Etsy" who's going green, not the individual sellers, "Etsy" who makes the cool items, not the sellers, and so on.

Really, Etsy is no more "green" than eBay - some of the people who use Etsy do practice sustainable practices, but really - it's an international venue that works by having people selling - and shipping - small items one at a time. The carbon footprint, collectively, for the shipping alone must be astonishing. And it's not like all - or even a majority - of sellers follow sustainable practices; I'm sure there are any number of them using fabrics imported from China, petroleum products, and the like. Gluing together a bunch of cheap crud into a decorative widget is a waste of resources rather than a saving of them.

Hell, promoting consumption of frivolous and trendy consumer goods - let alone poorly made ones - is about as far from green as you can get. Being truly green is about encouraging people to NOT buy things, and yet, what is Etsy about? Buying things. Silly things. Unnecessary, cheap things.

Etsy, collectively, is NOT green; it's taking credit for the sellers who are - who it doesn't even bother to credit in its post - and that leaves a really bad taste in my mouth.

Time for a Reality Check, Etsy?

Or how about a check up from the neck up?

We’ve been laughing so hard about the details of the new Etsy Merchandising Plan (from the new Merchandising Desk) that we could barely read the long list of themes revealed in one of the most bizarre bloggies EVER posted in the Dorque.

And what were we thinking? Waiting with bated breath for a clue about what we are supposed to be producing in our artisan studios for Etsy to pick for a Front Page Promotion, we just didn’t expect we’d be force to make..............doodads for the Kentucky Derby!?!?!? Oh goodness, now that’s a new twist on "handmade", dontcha think? Horsehair, anyone? (It’s a very flexible medium!)

The whole list sounds like an outline for a 19th Century Programme for festivities at the Country Club, raise your pinkies, grab your teacup, and lift that (upper class) lip!

Aha! But we’re taking a break from our equestrian related thoughts to put our own EB spin on this amazing list of Etsy Themes for May that have nothing in the entire universe to do with handmade, the artisan, the handmade product, the seller, the handmade store, ...or HANDMADE!

MAY PROGRAMME FROM THE EB MERCHANDISING DESK (Take a number and sit down in the velvet covered lounge and wait your turn, please):

UPCOMING EB CANNOT-LIVE-WITHOUT-DATES IN MAY:
May 1 - Oops, we forgot what they call these holiday things in those other countries out there.

May 2 - Dress appropriately in Etsy Approved Apparel adorned with your can’t live without Etsy Accessories that nobody really wears in public and get ye to the nearest OTB to start betting!

May 3 - Another Obscure Holiday, but let’s buck the trend and go shopping at big box stores anyway. Something may actually be on sale!

May 4 - Hmmm. What can we think of that will make people spend money on all those things we keep picking for the Front Page, day after day after day?

May 5 - Tacos and cervesas for everyone, let’s rub shoulders with South of the Border!

May 8 - A military-sounding holiday would be good to throw in here, and some reference to another country too, any will do!

May 10 - Mother’s Day? Whaaaaaa? Ya know, we were just too busy at Etsy to even think about this important retail holiday, and it’s boring. ‘Nuf said.

May 13 - OK, let’s all go to the movies and forget about shopping!

May 25 - Heads Up, Etsy Sellers! Get ready to start making Etsy-Themed Products for June!

May 25 - Isn’t there some kind of international athletic event that has nothing to do with selling and buying handmade? Come ON, we gotta think of something!

What more can we say? Etsy, you’re paying someone to come up with themes that have no connection to selling handmade online. We really want to be a fly on the wall at your next "Theme Staff Meeting" at Gold Street--care to turn on your videocam and let us in so we can eyeroll along with the rest of you??? Checks payable to blankety blank, filled out for CASH ONLY please.

Search Improvements and Feedback Wanted

As Maria mentioned in her second talking shop article, Etsy was going to make only slight tweeks to search. There are now two Dorque articles of interest on the changes made yesterday - why they always spread this information out we still don't know, but at least this time it's more for redundancy than confusion.

Engineer Sean who appears to be the one attempting to integrate new ranking and search term weighting criteria wrote an article on the dropdown menu, price filter changes, and where they plan on going from here. Meanwhile, Chad wrote a general tech update, his first since September when he joined Etsy and introduced us to his plans (Has it really been that long?!)

Chad's narrative points out just how poorly Etsy's infrastructure was initially developed:

After a lot of hard work and planning, we rolled out a sophisticated monitoring system in November that today enables us to keep an eye on 700 services running on over 170 pieces of hardware, including servers, network gear and storage systems.

This is a system that wasn't in place until November though Etsy had been attempting to be an ecommerce site for more than 3 years. And it is likely the reason it took users screaming about issues for someone to look at it, and then why they couldn't find the problems to fix them.

He also elaborated on one of the priorities Maria mentioned - site performance. By using a network distribution system the following was achieved:

Our home page now loads 2-3 times faster in most locations around the world compared to October and as much as nine times faster in some places. Our average home page load time over a 24-hour period as measured by Gomez in the US in October was 4.6 seconds and today it is 1.5 seconds. Singapore? From 18.6 seconds in October to 2.2 seconds today.

As a whole, Chad's article is pretty optimistic and encouraging. It's unfortunate that Revolving Dick screwed it up so badly and that we had to wait this long for improvements!

With all of these acknowledgements of problems and explanations of what they're attempting, I think they're trying to give us Bitches a stroke. We, we...might actually smile a little. It's yet to be seen what effect on tagging the new weighted search will have, which then would affect current shop listings and the listing process, but the engineers want feedback as they move forward (See, I told you they're trying to give us a stroke!)

We’ve been busy testing search adjustments with users here in Brooklyn at the Etsy Usability Lab as well as remotely, and we’re about to begin a series of Virtual Labs where we’ll give anyone interested access to a test area to try out different searches and discuss the future of Etsy search with us. The first of these sessions will take place this Friday, March 13 at 1:00 pm EDT (check when this is in your time zone).

Make sure you stop by on Friday and let them know your thoughts - then let us know if they listened!

There's also this forum discussion thread that was still open at the time of this entry.

Not another "Handmade Weddings" and stream of consciousness from Etsy (again)!

Now that Etsy has announced another foregone conclusion - their “marketing themes plan” for the next several months, we’d like to say, “Thank you Etsy” for forgetting (again) about including your sellers in your new plan for the site and telling them what you want them to make that suits Etsy's tastes. At least we're not the only one who is seeing what is happening.

Like the famous and stagnant and repetitive Gift Guides, like the Etsy takeover (and extensive editing) of the Front Page Treasuries to promote yet again the same stores they promote in all other areas of the site - Etsy sellers are presented with a “creative plan” that was put together with very little (if any) seller input. Etsy said it’s so, and therefore Etsy sellers will have to adapt to something that sounds a little... airy fairy???

Oh, the trendy titles like “Earthtones” and “Etsy-Eco” are so... Etsy-ish!!!

We sellers are ooooohing and aaaaahhhhing at the lofty, completely confusing Etsy-isk rhetoric:

“Our plan is to communicate upcoming merchandising themes in advance each month. If you are designing new handmade items that fit well into our thematic calendar, we encourage you to make and list them as we introduce upcoming themes in advance. Tagging relevant items with appropriate themed tags is a great way to get on board with our merchandising efforts.”

“Thematic Calendar” – geeeeez loooeeeze!!

But wait! Etsy is the expert on what their shoppers like!

“We are following what shoppers are looking for (on Etsy and in the retail world at large) and we want to share those insights with you. Think of it as a promotional initiative that you can opt into if it's a good fit. If your items don't fit a theme, don't worry. These themes — loosely interpreted so we can highlight a diversity of items — will not take over 100% of the site, but will be sprinkled throughout to greet shoppers and give them touch stones.”

Touch Stones!!!! Poetic!

How about this: Etsy promotes what Etsy likes, including a small number of stores that produce those Etsy products for the Etsy price so that Etsy can promote them in their now “themed” (and oh so completely confusing, ridiculous titles that make no sense) sections SO THAT ETSY CAN CONTINUE TO PROMOTE THE STORES THAT ETSY PROMOTED ALL THROUGH 2008 AND INTO 2009. That’s “what shopper are looking for” on Etsy ‘cause that ALL ETSY PROMOTES!

The gig is up Etsy. You’re just calling it something else. It’s no different than what you’ve been doing for the last 14 months.

Only your language has gotten more obscure than ever. Etsy-speak = gobbledegook squared.

Good luck shoppers! If you can figure out what the hell Etsy is selling, good for you. Otherwise, there are plenty of sellers that used to be on Etsy but left for better sites. Where the shopping tools are clear, quick, easy and checkout is a breeze.

Asleep At The Wheel

We weren’t surprised to see the numbers are DOWN at Etsy in their latest Dorkie on January numbers, presented in the usual Etsy-way (aka “WHAT did they say???”):

The stats:
$9.9 million of goods were sold; roughly 23% below December's sales figure (sales for the last full week of January represented a 9.3% increase above the first full week of January).
That represents 683,369 items sold for the month, a 16.2% decrease from December's stats.
1,203,417 million new items were listed in January, up from 1,098,644 items or 9.2% vs. December.
138,000 new members joined the Etsy community, 16.3% below December's record number of new members.
443,468,017 page views were recorded on the site, an 8.1% increase compared to December.

While it takes a few readings to get it right, it's clear that SALES ARE DOWN 23%. BUT LISTINGS ARE UP UP UP 9.2%!!!!!

The world may have changed, the economy may have changed, online retail may be changing by the hour, but ETSY DOESN’T CHANGE one iota. They just keep pumping the myth that THE MORE YOU LIST THE MORE YOU SELL while Etsy promotes only a tiny fraction of stores and items in all of the promotions they control, including their new take-over of the Front Page Treasury. It’s all Etsy all the time.

While Etsy reports their “numbers” as only Etsy can, we kinda thought that report was missing something................hmmmm, what could that be? How about:
1. Where did the special promotions for Valentine’s Day go? Ooops, too late to ship anything now!!!
2. Where is the list of changes and improvements Etsy is making to help their stores make sales in a down retail environment?

Ah, hell, who needs to read Etsy Stats in the Dorque, when we all have (finally) our own Google Analytics just in time to confirm what we already know. The real question is – WHAT THE HELL IS ETSY DOING TO HELP THEIR STORES SELL?????????????

Followup: Good doggie, but no biscuit!

So Etsy dug Matt out of demoted obscurity to try to calm the most recent implosion of faith in Etsy regarding changes to the way renewals work.

Why Matt? He's the only one there who can string more than two words together in any cognizant and moderately sincere-sounding way that also doesn't manage to insult or infuriate large portions of the user base while simultaneously looking like a moron.

(We like Matt. We believe that he believes what he's saying - but you'd think after this many times he'd start to get wise that nothing is going to change and he'll be back fighting for his life after being thrown to the wolves again in a couple weeks.)

In this Dorque post he tries to talk sellers off the Cliffs of Insanity by admitting:

1: Their communication with customers (sellers) lags significantly behind other more successful methods like smoke signals, Morse Code, and pictographs written in Elk blood with a stick.

2: Plead guilty to changing how they are batch loaded now that every one has noticed, and that it gets you NOTHING for your money.

3: They thought no one would care when they admitted that had been fleecing sellers with their prolific advocating of renewals all this time then change it up on them when no one was looking. Oops.

So we'll give them a biscuit for admitting they fucked up and feigning like they want to improve - but they don't get to eat it. No, they have to stand there and look at it, dying to eat the sweet rewards of success but unable to. Just like we sellers have to when we deal with Etsy.

That fucking biscuit is gritty and bitter anyway, Matt, you're not missing much. (We've tried to eat them and never could keep them down.)

Starting it off right

Ahhh, a new year, a new Ets....eh not quite.

One of the first Storque articles of the new year, why it's 3 lines about Happy Hangover Day of course! What the hell is a professional blog (if we can call the Dorque that) doing with an Etc (as defined by Etsy) section anyway? Shouldn't the blog be for relevant updates?!

Oh wait, I forgot who I'm talking about.

This type of 'article' is indicative of the juvenile attitude of Etsy admin. Post shit like this in the forums, not the Blog we have to dig through for news, updates, billing information, and a slew of other things you fuckers won't email us about.

Maybe we should be impressed that you made it a few hours into the new year before showing the stupid. YOU'RE A BUSINESS. Start acting like it.

EB '09 Resolution #1 R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Hey Etsy, How About a Little R-E-S-P-E-C-T???

Example: It’s nice to know that we can get a short, concise update on what Etsy is doing with stats from ANOTHER SOURCE:

“Etsy announced it was working with Google to provide its sellers more detailed data about traffic to their product listings. The Etsy online marketplace is home to crafters, artists and sellers of vintage items.
“Etsy said it was conducting a beta test with Google Analytics to enable sellers to track metrics such as pageviews, site visits, popular content and page referrals. “

Ina Steiner, AuctionBytes 12/30/08.

But, we can’t get an email from Etsy to ALL SELLERS that this, or anything else, is going on? No. We have to wade through tens of thousands of pages of the Dorque to (1) figure out where that informative post might be, (2) try to interpret what those weird Dorkie titles actually mean .....and (3) we sure have better ways to spend our time.

So, how about a little RESPECT in 2009, Etsy? If you can take all that time to post dozens of new Dorkies (with pix!) and zip in all those Etsy-Only FPT’s every day, surely you can spare the time to SEND EMAIL UPDATES TO ALL YOUR SELLERS AS PROMISED IN 2008.

‘Nuf said.

Happy Holidays! Here's a Promise of STATS!

Etsy is beta-testing stats. Yes, you heard me, it's not the egg nog or latkas going to your head, they wrote a Dorque article about it. Etsy brought on a small group of sellers to beta-test Google analytics stats.

We have contacted a small group of sellers to help us with beta-testing. We're
hoping to complete beta testing soon, and at that point, we will have more to say about the timing of releasing Google Analytics to the entire seller community. So expect an announcement here on the blog, in the forums, and to the Etsy News email list.

So...Merry Christmas..sort of. No site-wide email for this or the release (as they stated above). No actual timeline for its appearance. BUT they're beta-testing prior to release (which we always harp on them for not doing) and they're going to offer the stats for free. RobWhite is fielding some questions about it on Twitter so following him and Etsy (which autofeeds the Dorque article links there) may be a good way to keep up on its progress (bookmark the sites if you're not signed up for the social network).

Now that you've unwrapped it, don't throw away the bow. Etsy probably wants to use it to make a hammock because they forgot to buy Rokali a gift.

Etsy apologizes but still Fails

It's a landmark moment, Etsy has publicly (via Twitter) apologized for erroneously closing a thread. (BTW, it's Anda that does most of the Etsy twitters, but Mary was the one who closed the thread)

But what did it take to get there...lots of @Etsy tweets from some on the spot Etsians helping one another when admin were being lazy and not fully assessing a situation. Despite Mary being told that she was wrong, it was 24 hours later that things were somewhat rectified (Hey, Etsy always wanted a 'community'. Bet they never figured it would work against them).

What situation? you ask. Well you see, the great gift certificate push Etsy has been doing is actually new. So new in fact that about a year ago, gift certificates were considered 'illegal' on Etsy.

This old closed thread was being discussed in regards to the recent Storque feature on GCs. A seller quoted the admin's post and then got in trouble because admin thought it was a 'private convo'.

Stupid admin. If you would only learn to read...and make up your fucking minds about what is allowed and not allowed. Supposedly, GC's have been alright since just a few months after that thread because they wrote another how-to on them last Holiday season. Did anyone get the email about this when it was changed in the TOU? Oh wait, Etsy doesn't send out emails!

As for the not-so-naughty comment. It was an exact copy and paste quote of admin's OP in 2007:

Etsy Admin
Chillionaire says:
Hi forum folks! So I'm gearing up to send out convos to any sellers who have gift certificate listings in their shop. I know this issue will end up in the forum, so I figured I'd be the one to start it. I will be sending the same convo out to everyone, stating that gift cert. listings need to be removed, and I figured I would just let the message be public. Sorry if you read this thread and then have to deal with one in your inbox, but I know that not all sellers read the forum. I'll try to check back on this thread, but I can't guarantee how much time I'll have to respond. Anywho, I hope no one takes offense, this is just how it goes!
xo
LoriForty

Here's the convo:

Hi there!
Thank you for being part of the Etsy community and sharing your crafts with the world! You may not be aware, but we ask that sellers not feature gift certificate listings in their shop. We appreciate the ingenuity, but gift certificates often lead to buyer/seller disputes and they violate our Terms of Use. If you will kindly remove the listing(s) from your shop, we will be glad to refund your listing fee. Please visit the Forums or email support [!at] etsy.com if you have any questions.
Happy crafting,
Lori

For your listing fee refund: Email support [!at] etsy.com with your user name and the listing number of the gift certificate listing. Make sure to take down the listing number before you remove the listing!

Stop fucking your customers Etsy. Or at least use a little lube.