In this new series, we here at EB will help you make the most of your Etsy store by being your Rosetta Stone of the ways of Etsy so you have the knowledge you need to get the notice you deserve!
Session 1: Photography and You:
Unless your items fit into the personal aesthetics of Etsy Staff you don't get featured. You pretty much need to make the 40 things a couple people in the office love to get that free public handjob and sloppy fumbled tongue kiss from Etsy.
But, if you don't make those 40 items you will need to make your photos look like those of the studios they love to at least get them to cop a feel.
- Sales make you sad: Recruit that 14 year old goth waifish, pale, malnourished & depressed family member to model your items. The more you can get her to look like she will turn into dust if touched by sunlight or blown over on a soft breeze the better your pic will be! Remember: More eyeliner = more views!
- Kitschy Kitschy CooCoo: Add a unrelated item of kitsch as a bit of pictorial scenery. Selling jewelry? Put in a He-man action figure! Better yet, She Ra! Bonus points if you can work in some irony, after all nothing says "Look at my gorgeous handmade cereal bowl" like sitting it next to a crocheted piece of toast with a smiley face, or a spoon with the word BITCH engraved on it.
- More is more: Group your item in an artsy still life with many items not for sale so the viewer has to look at your item page to see what you are selling (any view is a good view!). Better yet, stuff them all into a beaten vintage soda crate so it looks like you pulled it out of the crazy cat lady's trash.
- View to a Kill: Pictures shot at weird angles make photos more artsy. Try shooting your pictures hanging from the ceiling upside down, and one handed! Nothing says quality craftsmanship like making your buyer cock their head at a 45 degree angle and close one eye.
- Close, closer, closest!: Test your buyer's powers of deduction by getting the oh so important first picture to be a macro so close that it causes their eyes to cross. This disorientation might well last several minutes, and in that time they might accidently click the "Buy" button trying to escape before blindness sets in.
- Blur the Facts: Focus on one square inch of your item, letting the rest of the shot blur to the point that it looks like a network news program blurred it's identity to protect it from mob retribution.
Look for more lessons in coming weeks. Next time we'll touch on What cheap elements to add to items to make admin nipples perk up and say howdy.