Etsy Is Hiring Coders!

Must have a ironic sense of whimsy and kindergarten art skills.

News Flash: Etsy is hiring! from Etsy on Vimeo.

Granted it is kinda funny, but it's maybe even fairly clever being that it's coders who did it, but it's just more of the goddamn hammocks.

from: Code as Craft Etsy Blog

And speaking of hiring, we just added a new Bitch! With a icy cold rage that the greek gods would shudder in fear of, say hello everyone to The Stubborn One.

I know I look foreward to having a new voice on here, as well as pissing off our detractors by actually growing. And in this economy no less!

The hiring of a new Etsy Bitch is a tenuous process, and don't one we often due to the cost of background testing and hiring a Privates Investigator to make sure their hand crocheted vagina brooches aren't wired. To be brief, it mostly involves chicken entrails, a nice curry sauce, a long night in the Clockwork Rusty Orange Video Room complete forced viewings of video interviews of Rokali, disloyalty gauging, and intensive sarcasm testing.

Welcome Stubborn!

Brooklyn Hipster Olympics

I know it's not directly related to Etsy, but it was sent in by a reader and if you are like us (and you are if you are reading this blog) you will find this just plain funny.
Disclaimer: Do not eat or drink while watching this video.

What... no Hammock Making Marathon?

And don't miss this deleted scene: The Ironic Mustache Event

Wristeroni strikes again.

WARNING: Not safe for work, or children, or dogs, or deaf people. Headphones might be a good idea in mixed company.

Wristeroni Strikes Again: Etsystar

Wisteroni has once again raised the bar on Etsy Parody Vids one again!



The quality and humour of our readers makes me personally feel I'll be out of job here if I don't start trowling a better snarkline soon.

Another Homerun Video from Wristeroni

I do hope there are episodes to come!

Make your own death shroud... er hammock!

A reader sent us this link to another atrociously piss poor sewing how-to video, and poor choices of materials, by Brepettis.

Witness a massive case of bad judgment to make the sorriest excuse for a crap hammock I've ever seen. Can you guess what will happen when Brepettis makes a hammock?

This IS popcorn worthy, readers. Go pop some then come back and hit play.



No thanks, I'll buy mine on eBay where it might have been designed in mind of some country's safety regulations (you can ignore those if you make it yourself like a ignoramus hipster doofus!). Tell me again it's peachy keen that professional people at a corporate craft site tell you to use "fabric that might hold me" and clothes line - for a hammock. Clothes line. He spends more time telling you how to condense the excess rope than he does sewing the damned thing. Clothes line!

I hope Etsy gets it's ass sued black and blue when someone's kid suffocates in that concoction while playing in it and it closes up on them, or someone breaks their neck, spine, tailbone, hip, etc, when they hit the ground in 30 seconds for following their directions.

It's not just a stupid negligent video -- it's an injury lawyer's wet dream.

Best use of time and resources? Hmmm ...

First of all, I just want to say that I like RobWhite. He seems like a nice guy. He's really closely associated with a few of the nastiest Admin going, but he himself seems pretty sweet. He's one of the few Admin on the Forum watch who writes like he cares about his customers. He's probably second only to Matt for being able to communicate with sellers without condescending to them. Or outright insulting them.

But this video? Sheesh.


Is it just me, or does this video make the poor guy look like a putz? Could this have been done in a more infantalizing way? For both RobWhite and the audience? What's with the handpuppets? And the dance break? Are we all in kindergarten? Have I gone nuts?

There are SERIOUS problems at Etsy, guys. Making cookies, playing with handpuppets and shooting childish videos aren't fixing the issues Etsy seller abitabite brings up in this anguished Forum thread.

On the Etsy Admin to do list: add a notice to the Storque article about the introduction of the policy page (which isn't actually working) or produce some more puerile twaddle? Etsy will choose the twaddle every time.