We Spoke With Rokali

Hello all!

We spoke with Rob Kalin tonight for 1 hour and 45 minutes. It was a good talk, and he listened and answered questions for us.

We hope to have something for you to peruse in the next few days about the chat. Please understand that the file is 1 hour and 45 minutes with a lot of side chatter. We're working on this between our real jobs, so please be patient.

Oh, My Etsy-Aching Head!

Lock lock, mute mute, gotta make a cowl, I can’t knit, Gramma? Gotta get the wrapping paper, lock lock, mute mute, did I buy enough showcases this month? What did she say about me in the forums? Lock lock, mute mute, hey I sent an email to support@ 7 weeks ago! Lock lock, mute mute, gotta make the grass-growing thingy and list it in my store, should I price it $2 or $3? Lock lock, mute mute oh boy, you mean I actually have to pack up these sales and put them in the mail? How do I do that? Where’s the post office? Lock lock, mute mute, did I relist 125 items today or should I do it tomorrow, I can do without groceries for another 2 weeks, lock lock, mute mute. Is it Etsy-ready, cool yet urban, pseudo green and a must-have? Ooops, my camera broke, I’ll just borrow the pix from that catalog, they look the same, lock lock, mute mute, I dunno, should I buy a banner for my store, or buy 6 booklets for sale on Etsy about how to sell on Etsy like every other seller on Etsy doing all the same things that I’m doing, oh, I forgot to relist again today, how is anyone going to see my $5 bargains, is there a weekend sale going on, did I get in, am I on the Front Page, why doesn’t Etsy answer my email? Lock lock mute mute oh damn, time to go to the bathroom, noooooooooo, hey, my Etsy Bill is $87.60 and I didn’t sell a thing last month! Oh, I forgot to relist again, where is that section in the 450-page Etsy Handbook, they’ll tell me what to do! Lock lock, mute mute, oh golly, boohoooohoooo, no one looks at my store anymore! .
Maybe I need to put something on the forums like, uhmm, like, uhmmm, "Where did my views go?" What section should it go in? Will you look at my store and tell my what I’m doing wrong? Lock lock, mute mute, I just wanna be Etsy-Admin-loved, what’s wrong with that?
Lock lock, mute mute gotta get to the yarn store, did I relist 100 items today like I promised myself? Gotta make the fingerless gloves, nope, a flower brooch, no a beige hairband, no a feathered bird, no something that looks geeky, nope, something under glass? hmmmm, gotta relist, gotta relist, gotta relist, lock lock, mute mute.
Lather, rinse, repeat, lock lock, mute mute.

Bitches' Auxiliary - New Hires

Yep, Etsy has added yet another engineer to their force. Ever wonder what the resumes look like for these creme de la creme Chad chooses? Unfortunately, they laid it out in the Dorque announcement.

This email we received just about sums it up!

Etsy hires a friend who has no e-commerce background. But what the heck, he plays a mean banjo and knows a lot about social networking. And isn't that what it's all about? Just folks, hangin, talking, pickin git fiddles and watchin the little uns roll around on the floor? Forget making the site about sales. "It's not about the money man, it's about the people. Anyone who is in business for the money is just an evil breadhead. Pass me that joint, brah."

A Refresher Course

We’ve noticed that people, specifically other Etsians, are blogging about us. Not everything they say is nice (thank goodness, we’d be doing something wrong if it was!)…they don’t get certain things about why we’re here or why we have certain feelings towards certain admin. So, here’s a little history lesson, stretching back to before we were here, to refresh or enlighten your perspective.

1. What is it you think you’ll accomplish by complaining?

A lot, actually. The real Etsy community, by acting together even before EtsyBitch, has already gotten things to happen by bringing it to the attention of the sensible admin – like getting a repeat offending reseller booted, the page numbers brought back to search, and USD added to listings as is required by law. We act as encouragement for forum surliness to get admin to acknowledge problems. What else do we want to see done? Read our manifesto – it’s all laid out there in plain English.

But we don’t just bitch about Etsy, though that’s the fun part - we also try to help our fellow artisans and crafters , we discuss business, we review alternative venues, and we’re here to listen. We’re a shoulder and a voice for frustrated Etsians, whatever their sales volume or product. How will Etsy ever improve for their customers with the cupcake yes-men running untethered?

2. Why do you tell DanielleXO to go to hell? That’s, like, so mean!

She was once given the privilege of head forum moderator. She ran amuck, muting people for no reason other than she didn’t like them, closed threads she didn’t like, and harassed members via convos. This is reason enough to fire a person, but they simply moved her to another department, and then another one after that – still causing trouble months later. Then, ahile a member of the EtsyLabs, she ran a metalsmithing workshop in which she couldn’t answer someone’s question about gauge – something elementary to working with metal. Can you say i-n-c-o-m-p-e-t-e-n-c-e?

3. Why are you anonymous?

Well, most of us are anonymous – if you haven’t read the recent issue of Fortune Small Business, you should. As for the rest of us - I have two words for you. Etsy Five: Five Etsians were muted indefinitely way back when for criticizing Etsy on a blog that wasn’t Etsy. And muting or banishment for criticism is still happening and happening. Off-Etsy behavior has gotten many a member in trouble, even resulting in shop closures. The President of Etsy (former, rokali) once said that they take off site behavior into account when doling out punishment. We are anonymous in order to not be harrassed by Etsy. How sad is that?

Also, we bitch because any of us or you could be next - they’re not even straight about their own rules for buyer complaints let alone using their discretion when emotions are involved, and there is talk of a blacklist of sellers you will never see on the FP, in the gift guides, or featured by Etsy admin in any way because of their criticism of Etsy, even valid criticism based on their own customer service experience. Etsy’s admins are unprofessional twits who blow off professional business people simply because they’re the customer. The power they hold over others’ incomes is frightening.

4. Why not just leave Etsy?

Some of us have – if you notice, there aren’t 10 people posting all the time anymore. Most of us have moved on to other venues or jobs. So why do we still blog about Etsy? Yeah, I knew you’re thinking it – we’re still their customers, and we made great friends there, still buy there, or have so much invested in Etsy we can’t leave. It’s like your phone company, if it’s the only company your phone will work with and the phone cost you $500, are you going to switch companies and buy a new phone or try to work with what you already paid for?

5. Why are you so hateful and angry?

We’re not hateful, we’re frustrated. There’s no customer service department to complain to or work with, there is no way to sign our name to our complaints without fear of reprisal, and people like you question our right to throw out a curse word every now and then in regards to a company we paid to deliver a service that we feel is subpar. Fuck you for not respecting the rights of others to be frustrated even when you haven't had to deal with it...yet.

6. But….why???

We appreciate handmade and love (some of) the sellers we’ve interacted with in the online art community. Etsy had great potential when it started, and it is still the big name out there. We think there will be others who give them a run for their money, but there shouldn’t be a monopoly on selling handmade. Certain venues will work for certain people. We really do want to see Etsy do better by their customers, even if we’ve moved on to greener pastures. It’s not about revenge or seeing Etsy fail…it’s about making them accountable to the people that matter, their sellers – their customers. Being a half-assed start-up was an excuse 4 years ago, not now.

QYDJ Redux, Bitchslap style

This isn't a Bitch aimed at Etsy admin. Nor even at a culture that exists ONLY on Etsy.

This is one Bitches' Bitch, and the other Bitches may totally disagree and may totally have different experiences. Consider this a Bitch Tips column rooted in one person's experience, and no more.

There's nothing that follows that I would not post to my own blog except that ya'll are so much more LIKELY to see it here. Naturally, anonymity then becomes necessary simply because, well, who trusts Etsy not to brickwall a Friend of Bitches or an infrequent Bitch? Also, I write this for you, not for my own glory and trackbacks, and no one can say otherwise cause where do you track back but here?

Like all business advice, what follows is like an orifice, you know the old saw. And it IS business advice - if you are selling for some date night money and the fun of making stuff, it's not going to do anything but piss you off to try and incorporate it, and you should continue rocking your craft just as you are.

Here is a learned in the trenches bit of bitching that's going to run counter to a lot of the Etsy promotional Myths out there. Yes Myths. As in "widely circulated and accepted BS."

MYTH 1: KNOWLEDGE. IT STARTS IN THE STORQUE. IT IS FOUND IN THE FORUM. SO THERE.

The best advice you're going to get may not be via the Storque or via the forums. There's life beyond both. Google is your friend, or your SE of choice if you're anti-Google. So are books, those hard leafy things. You know what I mean. Jeebus, Suzy, get out of the forums and ask Google your question like "how to improve my product photos?" "How to promote on a budget?" Notice that Suzy rarely makes it out of the Etsy forums though, and her notion of promotion is "I posted every day to threadkilling games in promos, still not selling, sigh."

MYTH 2. OMG - THIS SELFLESS GURU JUST LEFT ME SEVEN TIPS WITH 25 LINKS TO THEIR BLOGS, KEWL.

Reading an About.com column on Guerilla Marketing, or even the book by that title cover to cover, does not make you an expert on such. Hey, I have gurus and pundits I like. I sometimes look at Seth Godin, or the collective widsom of some of the people over at The Switchboards, even. Just, you know. Have a high bar and don't get onto the first bandwagon you encounter, eh? Hint: a lot of the people making a lot of sales on the net are way too busy selling making and shipping their shiz to make a ton of "how I made sales" products and postings but really do answer questions and really will help a noob out!

MYTH 3. PROMOTION = WHEW I PROMOTED HARD TODAY! I POSTED TO INDIEPUBLIC, CRAFTSTER, WE LOVE ETSY, AND MYSPACE. LOTS!

I am not one for rules and telling people what to do or think, but I'm going to do it now. For the love of God, for the love of everyone's Twitterfeeds, please, Etsians, craft seller noobs, everyone - PLEASE consider the following: ROI isn't just a phrase about money - apply it to your TIME.

It is good to be present as many places as possible. Join all the Ning networks, have a Myspace page, have a Facebook for sure, Twitter - definitely have a blog. Now here comes the unpopular part: your work is pretty much done. Get your supercraft shiz up on a page, a smily-happy-you picture, a link to www.mycraftyshiz.com (which may or MAY NOT point to etsy, oui?)

The exception to this would be your blog, which you should do evey day. (I don't, but should.)

Add some myspace or VOX or indiepublic friends if you really have nothing to do and nothing to make and nothing to ship. Visit it on the odd month. It will go on without you, adding a little bit of value to your blog, page, and etsy page rank. A blogger may find you thus. Periodically repost a post from your blog to its blog, that's a good thing to do once in a while - think of it like coning your ears, not like brushing your teeth.

MYTH 4. IF I DON'T PLAN ON BEING ON A SITE EVERY DAY PUTTING UP A PAGE = STUPID.

DO use social media, I'm not saying don't do it. Use as many platforms as you have time to add in - presence is GOOD. Hang out on the ones you like - I'm a facebook person with periodic binges of adding myspace friends if the pages are ones I find interesting enough and local to me particularly. Drop a few bulletins, but really, go do something more productive in a few minutes. Do not get sucked in.

The only BUSINESS perk to MOST social media is probably the increase of YOUR pagerank a TEENY BIT. (Your page which may or MAY NOT point to etsy, oui? oui?)

I'm on facebook - to talk to my friends! A few etsy friends but mostly people I went to school with or know somehow. I'm on twitter - to drop random links and quips when I have NOTHING ELSE TO DO and to sometimes link to a new item I really want my ego stroked over.

A few people will often say "hey, yo, nice craft crap there." That's all I expect and all I want. I do not want to be the person tweeting every advertising utterance that might come into my head. I do not want to be the person tweeting "BUY MY CRAP" to a host of people who want me to buy their crap mostly. Because it's just not worth it.

R to the O to the I. Tattoo it on your hand, tape it to your wall, ask yourself if you are honoring it when you are sitting in Etsy chat hoping someone might buy your crap.

MYTH 5. HTML AND OTHER CODE - DO NOT WANT! IM'A GET RICH ON ETSY BY POSTING FREEEE TO CRAIGSLIST AND FACEBOOK, THEN HIRE AEOLIDIA AND THUSLY ROCK!

I'm gonna be a bossy bitch for a moment and lay some opinion on you.

Best first online promotional expendture - your own domain name and hosting. What if Brooklyn had a giant internet-killing 350 foot sloth attack tomorrow? Huh?

Best free thing you can do with it - put up a WP blog on it, even on a subdomain or sub directory. Those things pull traffic like a caffeinated ox, I shit you not.

Why? In my personal experience - pointing a paid ad to an etsy shop is about as useful as pointing it to ebay or a cave in the woods. Point the ad to YOU and then if people want to etsy from there, make it easy for them.

Best free promotional strategies for your first year: if you do not know enough CSS and HTML to hack a WP template or style a simple site for yourself PLEASE OH PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO LEARN IT. I don't believe in hiring designers before you know enough to have some rudimentary understanding of what they're doing and how they do it so you aren't completely at someone else's mercy every time you want to widen a column. Making yourself a placeholder this is Suzy this is her spiffy shiz site is really really important.

Addendum: If you are not taking really really good photos, not just clear, but GOOD - PLEASE OH PLEASE LEARN HOW ASAP. Or sell in person mainly. There's no law that says you have to rely on etsy. But there is a law of online sales which says if it doesn't grab me by the nads and make me go "I can haz?" it's not going to sell.

Those time investments, though, have serious serious ROI attached to them, unlike gathering adult camgirls on Myspace as friends (unless that's a customer base for you, and it could be) Who knows, you may become a CSS junkie and do projects for noobs for $. You may be able to hire out your product photo skills to the local bead store periodically. Capiche? No one said your "day job" had to suck azz.

MYTH 6. PAID ADS ARE A WASTE , DYING BREED, WORD OF MOUTH IS WHERE IT'S AT, LEMME SPAM TWITTER SOME MORE.

Here's an ugly truth that people do not want to address often because it hurts feelings. YOU MUST PUT $$$ INTO PROMOTING A BIZ. If you do not plan on spending anything ever on getting yourself out there, you are hurting your business. Like going medieval on its little cute pikachu eyes self.

I certainly know broke. I know broke-ass broke. It's not easy. That's why you KEEP some of that day job money or you reserve some of that craft show money, or you borrow 200 bucks from a friend who gets what you're trying to do until you do not have to do such things - to be visible. Period. Stumbleupon advertising or Adwords type stuff is a good start.

Which is a good ad? An insular 10 cent spot on a craft blog with 6 readers running Project Wonderful ads because you like the chick with the blog ?

Or A 10 cent Project Wonderful spot on a NON-craft blog?

Come on, Suzy. I know you can answer this, please. Etsy noobs have this incredible tenacity about the importance of marketing to other crafters. Doesn't anyone eventually sit up and say "I would pay 30 bucks to get out of this circle-jerk?" "I would pay 30 bucks a month to be able to make some more amigurumi or feed my children or take a walk instead of posting like a deranged squirrel on Ning communities?"

Every time a non-supplier buys an ad on a site where only crafters hang an angel pulls its feathers out.

It is definitely possible to waste money on a paid ad that you think is where the shopper ladies hang - sometimes ads will misfire. I've placed a few bombs. Expensive bombs, but I didn't buy them unless I knew they might.

This is the ugly truth. Many many indie businesses you see with sidebar ads and blog features everywhere on earth making sales out the azz got that way by eating tuna and rice so they could afford their first ads. They understood and were willing if barely able to shoulder the risk. Don't do something you can't do - but DO do the most you can afford. At every step. I know there are exceptions and people very talented with social netowrking, but frankly, me bringing my A game means being willing to invest. Time - in a smart way. Money - in a smart way.

When I started out, print it yourself business cards were the most I could do - so I do understand. But to grow you need to bust ass. Busting ass is not enhanced, but sidetracked by placing spam on every city's craigslist when you could just put 20 bucks into adwords or renew 5 bucks worth of listings or email 10 blogs with nice pics and "hi, like your blog. Wanna post my shiz? thanks!" (Jena at Modish has great how-tos for how to do this, that was the vastly abbreviated version)

-or get out yo, and scope out the boutiques near you. Or email them if they're not near you.

This said, your paid ad is as good as its 1. placement 2. design.
If those are both azz, you will get nothing. Do not buy visual ad placement unless you are secure with the look and the notion that the venue is talking to the peeps who will buy from you.

7 .ETSY IS REALLY ABOUT THE SANCTITY OF HANDMADE IT'S JUST CONFUSED SO LOOKS LIKE A CRAFT MAGAZINE SPINOFF WITH ALT-CRAFT ONLY. IT ONLY PROMOTES HOT GLUED TOGETHER NEON HOODIES WHEN IT'S DRINKING - ONE DAY IT WILL WISE UP AND LOVE ME BECAUSE IT ALWAYS TELLS ME IT KNOWS NO NICHE, AND IT LOVES ME, REALLY IT DOES!

Rail against, Bitches, but also accept Etsy as it is, until and if otherwise. At least with half your heart and soul. Use the other half to Bitch for betterment.


Etsy says it's about everything handmade. Craftster says "no tea cozies without irony."

Neither stays totally on target with their mission - Craftster is actually a much softer more booster-y happy place where your non-ironic tea cozy is still considered rad enough - hey, that's cool. Etsy dangles the bait for higher end NICHE Magazine worthy work, but makes it a complete bitch to be seen and does nothing to bring in that customer base, does as much as it can to scare it away in fact - staying a bastion of modern cool under $200, brooklyn emo, or shabby chic ALT-craft in its promotions, self-concept, and de-facto identity. Not cool - and I say this from within that market niche, happily selling. I don't like that it tries to be everything and hands out so much fail to so many peeps. Please look at this powerful but potentially dangerous or merely useless animal as what it is, not the cuddly friend you want and it says it is, right?

Craftster isn't fuckin' with all the people's money. So they get a pass for fronting more hipster ironic than they actually are. Etsy is selling itself as something it is not to a lot of talented makers who are trying to find their way on the internet without a ton of technical knowledge or marketing savvy.

It doesn't bug me as much that they have a niche, but that they INSIST they don't. That is way way way uncool.

It would be like BUST craftacular accepting a whole slough of artisans they know won't sell anything there for the table fees, which they don't do because they run a good show and a tight ship. Besides, then their TARGET MARKET doesn't have to wade through miles of things they don't want to buy. Everyone's happier. Bringing hundreds of thousands of people to a site where they can't navigate to find what they actually want to buy is not a great sales strategy, duh!

Etsy IS what it IS. Bitching for change is good, but it's also like accepting a dysfunctional parent. They are who they are - you try to help, but you stop enabling. To succeed sometimes you need to look outward as well as homeward. Take what you can from them, they're not all bad, and maybe they DO love you but can't figure out how.

MYTH 8. SUCCESS AND $$$ AND NO MORE DAY JOB = ETSY, WHAT COULD IT BE BUT ETSY?

TRUTH: Do what you always do and get what you always got. Or the Einstein def. of insanity - doing the same thing, expecting different results.


If you're not aiming for or selling to that BUST Craftacular Williamsburg Gawker handmade type audience who find putting ABC gum into testubes as decorative housewares thrilling, etsy is a keen portfolio page at best, or a good place to do a cheaper more editionable spinoff line.

If you're not selling on Etsy and it's not because your work is really poor and you've only been crafting for ten minutes, chances are you WILL sell somewhere. No, no chances are. You WILL sell somewhere. You do have to find it, however. It may not be Etsy, not today anyway.

It may not be online. You may have to pay to play. You may have to work with stores much more extensively (are you courting stores? It's really easy, actually, it's so much less painful than it sounds - stores are often dying for new merch. Use the internets to find them! They also use etsy to find you!)

Really. This is not a "well fine leave then" post at all, but a reverse etsy rah-rah for getting your OWN site done, submitting how-tos to the mags and photos to the Lark books, to approaching galleries, to using etsy and not letting it use you. Referring a prospective store to a really nicely stocked Etsy page that doesn't necessarily have sales up the wazoo can look nice and polished, especially if you're a techno-noob. Until you are no longer one or until you have enough stores that you don't need to care.

In summation: not selling on etsy? Try everything that isn't Etsy, in addition to what you're doing. Better yet, if YOUR CUSTOMER is not on Etsy, figure out


1. who that is

2. where they are

3. go there

We get mail

On occasion we get something in the inbox that is more than an Aux post, tip, or rant. Recently, I received an email from a journalist who couldn't tell who she's writing for, but she had the following questions:

1) Can you give me YOUR personal view of the future of the handmade craft industry? Is it enjoying a revival at this time? Will the flailing economy help the Handmade Movement?
2) Can you give me a short list of what you consider Etsy's shortcomings? How and where it has failed its sellers? Its community?
3) What could Etsy do to improve itself as a website?
4) Your views on the Etsy alternatives. How many in your reckoning are likely to become serious contenders for Etsy?
5) Lastly, you had a magic wand, and you could create the BEST handmade buy-and-sell site in history, what are the first 10 things you would do?

My first reaction was 'Hasn't she read the blog?' Then I talked it over with the other Bitches and they thought the same thing.

For one, if you can't tell us who you're writing for, chances are we're not going to give you an exclusive interview. Second, don't ask questions that are answered in the blog. And lastly, don't haggle about on-the-record vs. off-the-record with anonymous writers.

For me (Righteous), it's about integrity and personal responsibility, as a business and an individual. Etsy just hasn't followed through.

I'm posting below my response to the journalist, because I meant what I told her about everything being on-the-record. Plus, you might have an answer for her and now comments can be open for that:

After discussing your questions, we think you will find all of the answers on the EtsyBitch blog. Everything on-the-record is out there for the public. We don't hold back what we really think. We don't mind being quoted and linked to, we stand by everything we say and retract or update as necessary when things change.

If you're having difficulty compiling our responses from the wealth of information on the blog, primarily, there is no "short-list" of what's wrong with Etsy. Over the course of the few years they've been live they have been going downhill. It's everything from hardware and infrastructure to the lack of a customer service department and knowledgable admin. Take a look at our Christmas list and the comments to it...that's the closest we can get to a short list. Nearly every post is about Etsy's shortcomings, what they can do to improve, and what we think a handmade venue needs. You'll start to see trends when you read through.

For some people, handmade never went away. It may be having a mainstream revival right now, due to trends, going green, or the economy, but that is beyond our collective effort and discussion. We have worked with some people who are promoting the handmade movement, and we appreciate it as artisans ourselves, but art and handmade have always been there, and always will be there, in some form.

We do think there will be some venues that give Etsy a run for its money, some sellers are already having better success elsewhere, others were successful before Etsy ever came to be. It'll be different for everyone and their needs. We have our favorites, but its due to our own experiences. There are many more venues and shopping carts that we'll be reviewing, but I'm sure we have not held back in the posts we've already done as to how we feel a particular venue's chances may be for surpassing Etsy.

Informal Round Table Between the Bitches and YOU

You guys talk to us, but let's get this out there in print, so to speak...

Unlike Etsy Admin, we actually man our comments and will respond in general.

Now that it is November 2008, what are your main or continuing concerns about Etsy? Spill it out, let it all hang out. Don't leave a single thing unturned.

We know eyes are watching us.

As usual, no slamming on posters or sellers. Admin is fair game. All comments will be going through moderation, but as long as you keep the shots above the belt, it'll be let through.

Want A Job? Etsy Needs An Intern!

Then the Dorque needs YOU! Yes any college or post-graduate student willing to be suckered into - er, umm - take on the challenge of being the Dorque's Blog Copy Editor/Viral Distributor.

Yep, you could be in charge of editing articles ranging from fashion trends (cupcakes are IN!!!!) to Tech updates (new DAM category!!!). As it stands right now the Dorque covers such a broad range of information that the usefull important stuff gets buried under crap like "Quit Your Day Job, Go On Unemployment, and Live in Your Parent's Basement!!!!"

Minimum Qualifications (with some minor modifications from the Bitches in itallics)

* Experience in online or print editorial, copy-editing, writing, researching and reporting (preferably fashion, culture) Experience which involves actual college courses in writing might help

* Experience with photo editing (for print, film, stock photos, etc)

* Photoshop We think they want you to be able to edit those photos in Photoshop, though they are a bit cryptic here.

* Basic html, blogging software knowledge

* Strong communication skills in dealing with customers, online communities, interview subjects, as well as coworkers

* Ability to tolerate socially-challenged co-workers *coughcoughcoughdanilexocoughcoughcough* a plus!

* Merchandising or styling experience (great taste a plus!) Of course what you consider to be great taste and what they consider to be Indie and kewl might be two totally different things.

* Self-motivated (show up to work on time, mmmkay??)

* Detail-oriented in doing the best job possible (A fundamental grasp of the english language and B.A.S.I.C. grammar skills are a plus!)

* Passionate about blogging and new media content The ability to sustain your passion after the glow of your new job wears off is a plus!

* Career goals at the intersection of editorial, new media, online communities, art and subcultures Having any kind of career goals is a great plus!

* Adaptable to a crazy start-up environment (translation: ability to tolerate a ton of unbelievable, unprofessional bullshit a plus!)

* A curious mind (especially in regards to DIY, fashion, entrepreneurship; and other publications) Have enough imagination to actually explore new innovative sites rather than looking outside your window to see what all the kewl hipsters are wearing is a definite plus!

Feel up to the challenge? Are you a masochist? Apply today!

Let's Play a Game of Find the Admin

Funny that this forum thread appeared recently, I've spent the last few days combing Etsy for information about Admin usernames and bugging my other EB for help. Why help you ask? Because the About page, Storque About Us series, Storque authorship list, and the wiki don't contain all the information. And not a single one of those sources has the exact same information as the others. I still can't track down usernames for 7 admin listed on the about page, but they're engineers so I guess that's acceptable - they mostly use shops for test listings.

Talk about confusing. No wonder you all asked! It's like finding Waldo.

Anyway, here is a list of Etsy admin usernames, shops, associated collaborations, and relatives. From my count, 23 admin (more than one-third) have 34 shops and Admin hold a total of at least 95 IDs. Day-umn. Talk about bloating the registration figures! (Edit: Nov 3, 2009 These numbers are much higher now than when this article was originally published)

December 23, 2009: Admin are posting in a single forum thread with the ids they use in the forums.

August 27, 2010: Rokali claims 125 Etsy employees and still hiring

Administration

Chief Executive Officer (again) as of Jan 1, 2010 (formerly CEO and then Chief Cupcake er Creative Officer (CCO)): Rob Kalin–rokali (the “founder of Etsy” and parachutes.org)

Chief Technology Officer (CTO): Chad Dickerson - chaddickerson

Chief Operating Officer (COO): Adam Freed - adamfreed (joined Aug 27, 2010)

Operations

Head of ops: MCR (only initials were given by saralouhicks in Storque article, his wife just had a baby)

Consultant: johndmc

Business Development: Jesse Hertzberg - eetzee, gonzo- no disclosure in that profile)

Accountant: Sinohe Terrero– sinoheterrero

International Development: Liz Wald - muka

Finance: Carrington - cwilly3

Lawyer: Sarah Feingold – sarahsays, attorneysarah, feingoldjewelry

Office Ecologist: Pete – petercorrie(shop and main admin account, married to Anda) also known as tubularist, aeiou (closed), librarycopy, petecorrie

Holly - hoanko

Product

VP of Product Management: Sara Hicks - saralouhicks

Design Director, User Experience: Michael Craig - mcraig71

Categories and Taxonomy: Amy DeCicco - amydec

UI Designer: Jen - jendoo

Prototypes and Mockups/user experience: KC - okaysee

Finance and Operations: Beth Ferreira – bethela, beyondthelens

Product Managers: Sean Flannagan - sean11, Tom Kutter - kutty, Eric Stephens - ericds

Design Team: Mandy - aworkinglibrary (Creative Director), Randy J Hunt - randyjhunt (also CitizenScholar), Jay-thinksauce

Software developer: beamrider9

Labs (EtsyLabs has moved from Gold Street – formerly known as Community and Labs, Community is now part of Support)

Etsy’s Official Store: etsystore (formerly etsylabs

Office Manager: Sarah Starpoli - rockstarpoli

Danielle – daniellexo, preciouspups, Secretmade (closed), daniellemaveal

Julie – julieincharge, yoursecretadmiral, familyties (with mom),
fibercontent (mom), lotsofiber (mom)

Anda Corrie(married to Pete) – anda, stopsandstarts, boosterseat, mrscorrie, orphans (closed), babystops (closed), foroneanother (practice/assignment account)
her mom’s shops: thebirdsandbees, appalachia

Screenprinting intern: Morgan - neonmorgan

Storque

Vanessa Bertozzi - vanessa (Moved to Director of Community and Education June 29, 2010)

Editor: Alison Feldmann – teenangster, goldgrass

Videos: Tara – weirdwolf

Videos: Eric Beug - Objecked

Storque intern: Michelle - mtraub

UK Blogger (new Jan 2010): Amity - allthosethrees

French Blogger (new Jan 2010): Amelie - foley

Editorial Director (new June 2010, took over for Vanessa): Juliet - julietgo

Support and Forums

Head of Customer Support: Bernadette Sweeney - bernsweeney

Manager of Policy and Site Content: Lauren Engelhardt– stellaloella seller prior to employee, onmysleeve, etsyjournal (closed), used to collaborate on Etsylou - The Saint Louis area street team (closed)

Tim Pence – Dillinger

Claire Beaudreault– mermaidclaire, onceinadirtywhile

Erin Haldrup – ErinHaldrup, desirest, ErinOrleans

Lori – chillionaire, WreckReation

Jim Chesters –jimchesters

Matt Ford – projectmattnyc

Amber Dubois – adubois

Adrian Nivola –Adrian1

Jason Seger- jasonmseger, JSeger, Smuttons

Caleb – calebwalt,asleeponatrain.etsy.com

Joe – joethebeard, deepinthewoods, thelostplayground (collaboration with Christine listed below)

Rob White – RobWhite and TastesLikeGood

wife’s shop: xiane

LisaJune - theradicalartisan, temporarily used EtsyTrainee, also plays under lisasroommate

Michelle Spaulding– HeyMichelle (Works community@etsy late nights), reconstructionist, dreamsandoutfits

Meesh - loosewire (known better as loosewirestudio, loosewiresupplies), MichelleBarlow

Sebastien - s3bastien

Corinne, Brittany, Noah, Kim

Nickey (forum moderator) - knickey, nickeyvintage

Marketing

Matt Stinchcomb (Etsy Founder)– matt, pigeon; wife (also admin) Benedikta

Adam Brown - adam

Christina Batch-Lee (Founder of Adorn Magazine) – missbatch, artobject

Emily Bidwell – emilybidwell

Web Analytics Manager: Neelam Hasni -neelam12

Director of Marketing: Nizzi Renaud - missniz, sweetniz

Mailing list: Mike Becak - mikeynice

Merchandising: Christine – iheartmoustaches, jackrabbit, christinedomanic, TheLostPlayground (collaboration)

Merchandising: Mary – MaryMary, contrary, unelephantrose

Barbara - barbs99

Engineering and developers (? = no information in profile to confirm who it is but username is provided in Storque articles, forum threads, or test listings)

VP of Technical Operations: John Allspaw

Dottie the dog (which explains a lot!!)

Eric – likeomg

Bryan Schwab - bschwab

Chris Bohn (CB) – longhaul ?, etsybozo

Dan McKinley - mcfunley

David - davidgiffin

Public API: Justin Sheckley - Stunji

Kyle - twokb

Steve Andrews - sa451, possibly sajandrews (no disclosure that it's admin, RobWhite said it is but not which admin)

Ian Meyer – imeyer

KevinLawler

Flash guru and Etsy Founder: Jared Tarbell - Jared
Paulie - OhPauleez

Jakob von Eichel- vonmilan

Rebekah Hodgson - bekness

Nicholas Cook - nicholascook

EtsyHacks, also known as Ian - indec, ehax, indecorous

Wife: Sarah of twolittlewrens

SEO specialist with SEOmoz: Rand - randfish

Chris Munns - munns

George - Georgyo ?

Tabo ?

Alex – alexandersomma ?

Bob - fumanchu ?

Paul – pasilveira ?

Alec – scaramouche ?

Test accounts: Samusaran ?, rbaboom ?

Rachel - rachelv111

Gerry - TheRealMackenzie

Wil - quiiver

Mike - mikebritts (mikebrittain)

The 5 guys from Adtuitive, including: Isaac Oates - ioates, Greg Fodor - gfodor, Jason Davis - jasondavis, and Matt Walker - mattwalker

ahashim ?

kastner ?

etsyfoo ?

mrembetsy ?

efixler ?

stefankarpinsky ?

No username or information provided but listed on About page as Engineers, might be some of the unassociated usernames above:

Rob B, Erik, Kristian, Ahmed, Eric, Vincent

Admin also hold:

CustomerCare

TheStorque

EtsyinthePress

TechUpdates

EtsyTeams

TheEtsyCollection (manned by Pete Corrie)

And use the following as non-storefront/profile pages:

Developer (the API interface)

Community (the community hub page)

Former Admin:
Bre Pettis (The Hammock Guy)– brepettis (left Etsy October 21, 2008)

WonderAmy (left before Winter 2008)

Chris – RevolvingDork (gone Summer 2008)

Haim (summer 2008)

Kelly – kfarrell (gone Autumn 2008)

Sara – sarawearsskirts, girlscantell, chickenbutt (laid off December 2008)

Ashley – AshleyJacobsen, ashleywhitejacobsen (seller prior to hire, no longer at Etsy as of Jan 19, 2009)

Dave Lifson – CaterpillarCowboy (no longer with Etsy, but still known for making rude comments about Etsy sellers in public)

Jorge – jorgelo (no longer working for Etsy as of June 24, 2009)

Jay (closed) (wife: lollibomb)

Zak – zakj

Lakin – lakinwecker

Mike – mikeH

Annette – annettemusick

Statistics/Strategic Planning: Charles Smith – winenutnyc

Former CEO (1/1/2010) Maria Thomas - pesmou

We will keep this list updated as best we can, if you know of others, post them to the comments so they can be added as well. So you can find this quickly, it is now in the "Etsy Links" section in the left sidebar! Now your DNBF list is complete! *Last updated Sept 13, 2010.

From the Bitches Auxiliary

"I'm sorry that happened to you" makes me chuckle every time it comes up in the forums. It should be the official tagline of Etsy, forget that "buy handmade" crap. Everyone knows that's not what Etsy's about.

Here's the reason I find that seemingly innocuous line hysterical. When you see it, it's usually posted in response to a thread that started with a post outlining some problem that the poster experienced on Etsy. Usually that problem is something that would probably never have happened if Etsy had its act together and a user friendly site with decent customer service, self explanatory checkout, and easy navigation, like a confused non paying buyer, or confusion over the rules. In the midst of the responses, ranging from complaints over twenty similar threads, calls for the original poster to read impossible to find dos and don'ts, and off topic postings about cookies and toddlers, you'll find a scattering of posters who'll respond with some variation of "I'm sorry that happened to you", or it's close cousin "OMG!1! I'm So SoRry that Happened!1!"

Now, I know that there's a large percentage of these posts where the real meaning is something along the lines of "I have nothing of substance to add to this thread, but I hope that by appearing sympathetic to the plights of others, I might have a few people decide that I deserve a view of my shop and that there is a potential, however slight, chance of making a sale."

Still, there is part of me that can't help but read more into some of those one line responses that appear between someone complaining about their first non paying buyer and the thread being shut down for calling out. Maybe the real meaning of some of those responses is "I know, the situation sucks, but unfortunately, we're all stuck here together until changes are made from the top down at Etsy to keep this from happening to the poor lowly seller. You're not the first person to have this happen to them. Hang in there."

Anyway, you wouldn't be reading this if you didn't have issues with the way Etsy is being handled, and I'm sorry that happened to you.

New wording for Oopsie Page

So now the brickwall's gone, maybe the wording on the new "Oopsie Page" * could be made a little bolder? More colorful? More descriptive?

HEY YOU! YES, YOU!
Don't waste your time looking for this username here.

1. This user quit Etsy in disgust.
2. This user quit Etsy in protest.
3. This user was a sockpuppet.
4. This user was hounded unfairly by other Etsians and is no longer with us.
5. This user was forced to make a buyer account to purchase something here, and closed it immediately afterwards.
6. This user has finally figured out that for the money she pays Etsy, she could have and promote her own website, not someone else's.
   
7. This user was a spammer.
8. This user was a bastard reseller and got shitcanned really quickly for it.
9. This user was a bastard reseller and got shitcanned only after a huge internet protest embarrassed Etsy into removing her.
10. This user mouthed off to Anda/DanielleXO/Rokali once too often and got shitcanned for it.
11. This user has retired to an ashram in South Dakota with no internet access. The very mention of shrinky dink, cupcakes or plushies makes her tic act up.

--------------------------

* thanks for the moniker, Impetuous

Meet Jared, er Jay, er... what?

In getting to know our beloved admin better, and thusly gain insight into madness, I delved into the "about us" section on Etsy.

I stumbled on Jay, whose real name is Jared but the page explains:

"His real name is Jared, but Etsy admins decided to rename him Jay, so as not to be confused with Jared Tarbell. No one else in the whole world calls him Jay. Just us. His mom hates it."

I have one of the most common names around, and have worked in office with others of the same name, and in one case the EXACT same given and surname that I have as well, and we all managed to find a way to identify each other without changing anything. But Etsy can't manage two Jared's?

What's that mean for Rob White if he ever moves to work in Brooklyn? Will they have to rename him "Buttercup" so as not to be stumped on payday?