Oh, My Etsy-Aching Head!

Lock lock, mute mute, gotta make a cowl, I can’t knit, Gramma? Gotta get the wrapping paper, lock lock, mute mute, did I buy enough showcases this month? What did she say about me in the forums? Lock lock, mute mute, hey I sent an email to support@ 7 weeks ago! Lock lock, mute mute, gotta make the grass-growing thingy and list it in my store, should I price it $2 or $3? Lock lock, mute mute oh boy, you mean I actually have to pack up these sales and put them in the mail? How do I do that? Where’s the post office? Lock lock, mute mute, did I relist 125 items today or should I do it tomorrow, I can do without groceries for another 2 weeks, lock lock, mute mute. Is it Etsy-ready, cool yet urban, pseudo green and a must-have? Ooops, my camera broke, I’ll just borrow the pix from that catalog, they look the same, lock lock, mute mute, I dunno, should I buy a banner for my store, or buy 6 booklets for sale on Etsy about how to sell on Etsy like every other seller on Etsy doing all the same things that I’m doing, oh, I forgot to relist again today, how is anyone going to see my $5 bargains, is there a weekend sale going on, did I get in, am I on the Front Page, why doesn’t Etsy answer my email? Lock lock mute mute oh damn, time to go to the bathroom, noooooooooo, hey, my Etsy Bill is $87.60 and I didn’t sell a thing last month! Oh, I forgot to relist again, where is that section in the 450-page Etsy Handbook, they’ll tell me what to do! Lock lock, mute mute, oh golly, boohoooohoooo, no one looks at my store anymore! .
Maybe I need to put something on the forums like, uhmm, like, uhmmm, "Where did my views go?" What section should it go in? Will you look at my store and tell my what I’m doing wrong? Lock lock, mute mute, I just wanna be Etsy-Admin-loved, what’s wrong with that?
Lock lock, mute mute gotta get to the yarn store, did I relist 100 items today like I promised myself? Gotta make the fingerless gloves, nope, a flower brooch, no a beige hairband, no a feathered bird, no something that looks geeky, nope, something under glass? hmmmm, gotta relist, gotta relist, gotta relist, lock lock, mute mute.
Lather, rinse, repeat, lock lock, mute mute.