Etsy Is Hiring Coders!

Must have a ironic sense of whimsy and kindergarten art skills.

News Flash: Etsy is hiring! from Etsy on Vimeo.

Granted it is kinda funny, but it's maybe even fairly clever being that it's coders who did it, but it's just more of the goddamn hammocks.

from: Code as Craft Etsy Blog

And speaking of hiring, we just added a new Bitch! With a icy cold rage that the greek gods would shudder in fear of, say hello everyone to The Stubborn One.

I know I look foreward to having a new voice on here, as well as pissing off our detractors by actually growing. And in this economy no less!

The hiring of a new Etsy Bitch is a tenuous process, and don't one we often due to the cost of background testing and hiring a Privates Investigator to make sure their hand crocheted vagina brooches aren't wired. To be brief, it mostly involves chicken entrails, a nice curry sauce, a long night in the Clockwork Rusty Orange Video Room complete forced viewings of video interviews of Rokali, disloyalty gauging, and intensive sarcasm testing.

Welcome Stubborn!

Buh-bye, Twit

From Bre Pettis's Twitter:

Today was my last day at Etsy. I have so many good things coming soon to be
excited about, but I'm going to miss that magical place!
6:28 PM Oct 21st from web

What? That's it? No grand exit speech? No tearful parting Storque article? No goodbye hammock party with cupcakes and kool-aid to drink? Surely you contributed in some sort of meaningful way that should be recogn Never mind.

Alas, your greatest Etsy legacy will be falling on your ass. The good news is, for you there's nowhere to go but up.

Buh-bye!

Feeling lucky?

"Damn you, Etsy Slot Machine...I keep feeding you my .20 cents and all I keep getting are two cupcakes and a hammock..."

We loved KreatedbyKarina's post so much, we present this humble graphic:

Click to see full size

Make your own death shroud... er hammock!

A reader sent us this link to another atrociously piss poor sewing how-to video, and poor choices of materials, by Brepettis.

Witness a massive case of bad judgment to make the sorriest excuse for a crap hammock I've ever seen. Can you guess what will happen when Brepettis makes a hammock?

This IS popcorn worthy, readers. Go pop some then come back and hit play.



No thanks, I'll buy mine on eBay where it might have been designed in mind of some country's safety regulations (you can ignore those if you make it yourself like a ignoramus hipster doofus!). Tell me again it's peachy keen that professional people at a corporate craft site tell you to use "fabric that might hold me" and clothes line - for a hammock. Clothes line. He spends more time telling you how to condense the excess rope than he does sewing the damned thing. Clothes line!

I hope Etsy gets it's ass sued black and blue when someone's kid suffocates in that concoction while playing in it and it closes up on them, or someone breaks their neck, spine, tailbone, hip, etc, when they hit the ground in 30 seconds for following their directions.

It's not just a stupid negligent video -- it's an injury lawyer's wet dream.