You need to take better pictures, no wait...

If you've sold or tried to sell anything on Etsy and tried seeking 'critiques' to see why your shop wasn't selling then you've heard the tired old line: "you need to take better pictures."

Now the marvelous circle jerk team aka Etsy 'engineering' has rolled out new quality image improvements. Tooting their horn, Etsy engineers have "built a new system for processing, resizing, and storing the image files that you upload to the site."

Well good job Etsy! The opening post shows a shop banner before the improvements, and after the improvements. There's only one problem; try as you might, you really can't discern any improvements. Some even dared to mention this to the circle jerk crew right in the middle of their mutual self-congratulatory phase. That's when Captain Obtuse, aka mgineer/Matt admits:

That sample banner is a case where there isn't much difference between the before and after. One characteristic of banners is that they are sometimes better suited to GIF or PNG format. Since our system only supports JPEG right now, we have to convert them, which can lower the quality. This change is the first step in a series of changes to make it possible to upload a PNG or GIF and have the site display it that way instead of converting it.

I'm sorry mgineer, did you just say that you guys implemented a system which will make some of our pictures look shittier? Really? Oh and while your at it, could you guys think far enough in the future to show a banner that signifigantly show your "improvements?"

The ultimate goal here is apparently to give everyone the option to upload images in .gif and .png as well as .jpeg. Yet - get this - Etsy's system still does not render any uploaded .gif or .png images well. So the engineers recommend that you convert them to .jpg yourself before uploading them "for a little while longer."

Highlighted Admin posts further dig a contradictory hole:

The feature is more a means of providing extra help to make your pictures appear just a little bit brighter or a little bit sharper.

Which is it ya geniuses? Are you helping us make our photos "better"? Or "lowering the quality?" Some post that they can see the difference, others not, to which Admin helpfully comments:

To those of you who can't see a difference, great! You see Etsy in it's most beautiful state. To those who do see a difference, great! Get ready to experience Etsy in all her glory.

Get that folks? Etsy is a girl. Write that down.

So the upshot of this? Your avatar, your shop banner, your product images will get a little "help" from Etsy. Yes, that's right folks - particularly you photographers - Etsy has changed how they tweak images.

Oh, before I close this post, let me note that:

The team working on this deserves a huge public thank you, so...thanks, guys!
You've put in a ton of effort making this rock.

Oh yeah guys..... you really rock. *eyeroll*

Boo!

It's Halloween and nothing's scarier than Etsy admin! Especially when they dress up as their favorite sellers in cowls. And what exactly is Maria dressed up as? Someone who likes to roll in money maybe?!

Be afraid, very afraid, and be on the lookout for cowl-wearing zombies!

San Franciscans Listen Up!

If you live in San Francisco - then clear the evening of June 9

Etsy is doing a summer tour, visiting cities where they hope their cupcakes will grab a beer with them. They're posting the information in the Dorque, making it even more likely they're aiming for a particular audience. Well, on June 9 at 6pm, San Francisco sellers get a chance to meet admin. There's an RSVP form and all of the information in the Dorque article.

So get down there and give 'em what for! They can't pretend to respond in person (unless rokali's on air appearances are any indication, then they will likely pretend to be smart). And while you're there - can you tell them Righteous says "communicate you bastards", because this was yet another thing not sent to all members.

Oh, and if you live new San Mateo, CA, they're at Maker Faire this weekend so you get a chance to speak your mind, too.

Morons 1, 2, and 3 - From the Bitches' Auxillary

We received an Aux email that describes perfectly how inefficient the Etsy admins really are. Not only do they not know what the hell they're talking about in general, but they also don't even talk to each other or properly delegate tasks. The lawyer should handle copyright or patent issues from the start, not support, and billing should be aware of support issues to handle them accordingly.

Below is the story, which has been edited to remove specifics and avoid potential fallout for the already Etsy-pained seller.

Why the admins at etsy are morons!

I got a convo from a girl that claims she has a patent for selling the same items that I do on etsy. When I got the convo, I thought "let me do some research before I respond to her." I got an appt. with a lawyer for 2 days later. He told me that this girl has a design patent and not a utility patent. That means she has a patent for something that anyone can get online. Basically, her patent is invalid.

That night I get home, and I get an email from Emily Bidwell that they are removing my items from the site. This girl is claiming infringement and they are taking
it off of their site based upon their COPYRIGHT and IP Policy. The email
references http://www.etsy.com/copyright_policy.php.
If we go to that page, it clearly states “Etsy, Inc.(“Etsy”) has adopted the following general policy toward copyright and intellectual property infringement in accordance with the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (http://lcweb.loc.gov/copyright/legislation/dmca.pdf)."

Now, I am not a lawyer, but my items are not digital in nature AND this is a patent suit. Furthermore, the email states that if I feel that this claim is unfounded or a mistake that I refer to “Etsy’s Copyright and Intellectual Property Policy (http://www.etsy.com/copyright_policy.php) and provide Etsy with the four pieces of information required for a DMCA 'counter notice.'" Again, this is not a DMCA issue. Not only that but I had purchased TWO showcases for two days later and three days after that. I asked for my money back because they have taken down my listings. I get a reply from Jason stating that “Showcase spots are nonrefundable. We can remove you from these Showcases if you don’t have any items to add to your Showcase lineups.” Gee, thanks. That is really sweet of you JASON! How convenient that you take down my listing RIGHT before my showcases.

Anyway, before I decided to fill out the DMCA “counter notice,” I decided to speak to my lawyer. Of course my lawyer thought their lawyers are morons if they are citing DMCA for taking my listing off. I want my listing back up so I decide to fill out the counter notice. I get an email from Sarah Feingold that she received my counter notice but she “apologizes for any confusion as to our policies, however this does not appear to be a Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) claim.” DUH! Then she further writes, “As you know, Etsy is a venue. Etsy is not a judge or jury or an arbitrator and we are not equipped to make a determination as to the validity of a United States design patent.” Well if you are not Sarah, then WHY DID YOU TAKE MY LISTING OFF??? If you cannot make any judgment, then put my listings back up on ETSY!

Dumbest people I have ever met!

We agree.

EB '09 Resolution #1 R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Hey Etsy, How About a Little R-E-S-P-E-C-T???

Example: It’s nice to know that we can get a short, concise update on what Etsy is doing with stats from ANOTHER SOURCE:

“Etsy announced it was working with Google to provide its sellers more detailed data about traffic to their product listings. The Etsy online marketplace is home to crafters, artists and sellers of vintage items.
“Etsy said it was conducting a beta test with Google Analytics to enable sellers to track metrics such as pageviews, site visits, popular content and page referrals. “

Ina Steiner, AuctionBytes 12/30/08.

But, we can’t get an email from Etsy to ALL SELLERS that this, or anything else, is going on? No. We have to wade through tens of thousands of pages of the Dorque to (1) figure out where that informative post might be, (2) try to interpret what those weird Dorkie titles actually mean .....and (3) we sure have better ways to spend our time.

So, how about a little RESPECT in 2009, Etsy? If you can take all that time to post dozens of new Dorkies (with pix!) and zip in all those Etsy-Only FPT’s every day, surely you can spare the time to SEND EMAIL UPDATES TO ALL YOUR SELLERS AS PROMISED IN 2008.

‘Nuf said.

International....not

There is a new Etsy admin - Muka (real name Liz). She works on International development.

Etsy shows us again why they desperately need someone to concentrate on this area for the site that has almost half of its customers outside its country of origin (ie. the United States).

Look at the "Related items" at the bottom of the article linked above:

All of them are U.S. sellers

Three of them don't ship the particular item international.

Nice! Way to go international, Etsy!

Brooklyn Hipster Olympics

I know it's not directly related to Etsy, but it was sent in by a reader and if you are like us (and you are if you are reading this blog) you will find this just plain funny.
Disclaimer: Do not eat or drink while watching this video.

What... no Hammock Making Marathon?

And don't miss this deleted scene: The Ironic Mustache Event

Matt writes Members

Since I know many people do not get Etsy emails, I am posting this, hot off the presses as it were:

Dear Friends,

Etsy Teams are part of Etsy’s foundation, and we are committed to working more closely with all of you to help promote our joint goals. Since I created the Teams idea three years ago, over 450 Teams with 20,000 members have formed around the globe. It’s time for Etsy to take a closer look at how we can better support Teams and your needs.

Over the past few weeks, I have spent a great deal of time speaking with Teams and working with Maria to look at what Etsy is and isn’t doing with the Teams program. As part of this examination, I recently made the difficult decision to discontinue the role that Sara Selepouchin currently holds at Etsy. (For those of you who do not know Sara, she is the friendly lady who has been running the Teams program.) This decision is in no way a reflection of our commitment to the Teams program.

On the contrary, I see it as a first step to better aligning Etsy’s resources to meet growing needs of Teams. I will be creating a new Brooklyn-based position to work closely with me to develop and implement new tools, collaborative promotional, and branding opportunities for Etsy Teams. New Team profile pages, private forums, and more are among the top priorities for the first part of 2009 as mentioned in Maria's Storque article.

Sara will continue working with Etsy until the end of the year. She will be meeting with a couple other admin, including me, to pass on her tasks, information and ideas so we can continue to provide support to Teams without any interruption. In the new year, Danielle (Etsy admin daniellexo) and I will be available and actively involved in handling Team page changes, questions, and content. We now share the teams@etsy inbox and are committed to keeping your Team information up to date and helping to facilitate your Etsy Teams in any way possible.

Organizational change is part of the natural, sometimes painful, process of building a great and lasting business, and with it comes great potential but also some hard choices. It is never easy when someone loses her job, and I can assure you that this decision was not made capriciously. We are all very grateful for Sara’s contributions to Etsy. I thank Sara for her one and a half years at Etsy, and I wish her the very, very best luck in her future endeavors.

I remain more committed to Etsy Teams than ever. I see the incredible role they play in our communities and want to make sure that Etsy Teams receive the attention and resources they deserve.

I appreciate your understanding and compassion in this matter.

As always, I am available at matt@etsy.com

Please address all Teams related inquiries to teams@etsy.com

Thanks,

Matt Stinchcomb, VP, Communications- Etsy.com

So they are eliminating Sara's job to replace her with... the same job... only in Brooklyn. Where was she? Etsy has 27 million but too cheap to pay relocation? And more importantly WHY THE FUCK DOES DANIELLEXO HAVE A FUCKING JOB??? WHY does the CLUELESS NIMROD that many many sellers despise still manage to keep her job and the one most seemed to like, one that seemed to try at least to be helpful, gets cut?

Layoffs at Etsy?

sarawearsskirts, the admin that grew Etsy teams and the Etsy promotional workhorse that teams are has been laid off from Etsy. Her last day is at the end of December. How nice of them to tell her right before Thanksgiving.
From her blog, girlscantell:

"moments before my parents arrived to spend the thanksgiving holiday at our house, i learned that at the end of the year, my position at etsy will no longer exist. "
"it's no secret that i love etsy, and gave working for the teams everything i could, despite never receiving the tools or resources the program really needed to flourish"

Like Etsy corp did with sellers, once you've promoted the hell out of the site, go fuck yourself. BTW, could it be that Etsy has no money for teams anymore? Maybe this is why they need more listing fees coming in and redid the search pagination (oh yeah we heard about this, more to come tomorrow)

We also heard (from HeyMichelle regarding GG appearances) that kfarrell is no longer working at Etsy.

Our question is: Why is DXO still fucking there?????!!!!

Of course none of this was announced by Etsy, it's information gleaned from Twitter, Blogs, and incidental communication with admin about other things - just another day in the Etsy neighborhood.

Did we miss anyone? Let us know!

Have an interesting photo?

Like, say a screencap of yet another front page treasury or gift guide with an item from an Etsy Admin shop or a reseller? Join our group on Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/groups/etsybitch/ and upload it.

Busted

Dear Marymary, this was not the first or even the second occurence. This time it was Anda's turn to get her shop prominently featured.

Admin chimed in on this thread 5 times before shutting down the thread. Etsy, did your customers catch you with your panties down? Below are some of the defensive responses from Etsy Admin:

Thanks so much for expressing your concerns with admins that have shops and the possibility of them being featured on the site. To be perfectly honest, we have an internal rule that items from admin shops are not to be featured on the homepage or in the gift guides.

This rule has been in effect for close to a year now and if for any reason you see an item featured on Etsy that might be from an admin shop, you are welcome to send us an email to community [!at] etsy.com and we will have it removed.

A treasury with an item from an admin shop would not be denied a highlight on the front page. The item from the admin shop would simply be excluded from the list of item ID's that are loaded on the front page.

Admins must disclose all of their shops on Etsy in their profiles, yes.

If a treasury is selected and loaded on the front page, the admin item would simply be excluded and in it's place the first alternate would appear.

You can find a list of all admins right here: www.etsy.com/about.php

If the admin has a shop/s, it will be listed in their profile. While I can see how a public list of admin shops might be helpful to some, it also might be viewed as further promotions to admins or unfair in some way...so I don't see this becoming a feature any time soon, I apologize.

The items featured in that article were chosen by a guest writer from Domino magazine. We have since removed the item in question; it should not have been included, and we apologize for the error.

Etsy, Etsy...... tsk. You make it sound like this was a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. How stupid do you think your customers are? Tens of thousands of shops on Etsy. Yet the same people are highlighted in the Gift Guides, Etsy Finds, on the front page Etsy Admin curated treasuries. That, Etsy, is pathetic.

Screenshot credit goes to Eclipse, sorry I forgot to post that last night.

A muting, a booting, and threats of legal action

The Muting: seller MIZombie has been silenced for a month. We didn't see this when it happened, but you can read his rant about it on his blog. From this example we learn yet another unwritten rule of the Etsy forums: Yes, it's okay to say that someone hates America, but no, it's not okay to tell that person to STFU.

The Booting: seller Rivkasmom/Sweet15 has had her account permanently deleted from Etsy. On October 30th she reported to us that she received an email from Emily at support@Etsy informing her that her accounts would be permanently terminated on Nov 7th, and until that time she would have access to her accounts to collect her business history and pay her Etsy bill. No specific reason was given, only a mention of "previous transgressions" and "a history of disruptive behaviour". However, since Rivkasmom had been permanently forum-muted earlier this year, we have to wonder just why Etsy decided to up the penalty 10 months later without explanation. Making vampire cupcakes and ignoring the Bugs forum must have gotten a little boring, we guess.

But as it turned out, she was unable to log into her account as of October 30th, receiving only an error message informing her that her account had been suspended. That's a fucking brilliant way to help someone pay their Etsy bill, admin. We bet you broke a sweat thinking up that piece of genius.

The Legal Threats: Rivkasmom received yet another message later that day in which Etsy informed her they were logging all of her IP information, and saying that this information plus her personal information was being sent to the Etsy legal team, who would take action against her if she chose to use Etsy.com again. She was also told to expect a phone call from their attorneys by the end of the next day.

On November 4th, Rivkasmom received a registered letter from the Etsy legal team, reiterating the TOS and demanding that she shut down all Etsy accounts and cease all further actions and communications. Apparently they forgot they had already shut down her accounts 5 days previously. Admin, might we recommend a day planner or other record-keeping device to help you avoid embarrassing yourself in the communications department once again?


So, dear EB readers, this is the warm, fuzzy, community-minded "human" face of Etsy. Sure is ugly, isn't it? Once again the kangaroo court is in full swing, accusing and trying and convicting all without ever actually stating what the guilty person is supposedly guilty of. And pardon us if we just say that the legal threats seem completely fucking unnecessary. Don't you have bigger fish to fry, like pornographically-minded sockpuppets constantly running amok in the forums, a never-ending barrage of resellers, and new handmade venues popping up all over the internet preparing to give you some real competition? Once again it looks like you've grossly overreacted to one minor issue while a hundred other important ones go completely ignored. If your legal team is that bored - handing out cease-and-desist letters to Etsy teams trying to use the Etsy name at their events can't be all that exciting, we know - then find a better use for them. Icing cupcakes, perhaps.

Hell Froze errr, ummm... Etsy Site Maintenance went As Scheduled.

That's right folks, the scheduled maintenance at Etsy to migrate just about everything from the old servers to the new and improved servers went off essentially without a hitch. So far there are no reports of Etsy sellers going into shock from the efficiency and smoothness of the process.

Way to go Chad! What a difference between this and the V.2 rollout.

From Righteous: On another note, the Etsy site went down for about 20 minutes on Oct 26, prior to the upgrade, and they actually were on top of it enough to note it at fix.etsy.com within minutes. This is definitely a change! Be sure to check that blog out when Etsy just doesn't seem right...from a technical standpoint, that is.

Another one bites the dust

Seems life at Etsy was not so wonderful for admin WonderAmy.

Bio
thankfully no longer an etsy admin. come visit me at wondercabinet.etsy.com!
Female, Born on June 5

Tsk, tsk, Amy. Profiles are not allowed to express disputes! Be careful or you're cruisin' for a mutin' from your former colleagues. Oh, and we'd like to order advance copies of your disgruntled tell-all book, please.

Why is the admin badge still on your posts, by the way?

Buh-bye, Twit

From Bre Pettis's Twitter:

Today was my last day at Etsy. I have so many good things coming soon to be
excited about, but I'm going to miss that magical place!
6:28 PM Oct 21st from web

What? That's it? No grand exit speech? No tearful parting Storque article? No goodbye hammock party with cupcakes and kool-aid to drink? Surely you contributed in some sort of meaningful way that should be recogn Never mind.

Alas, your greatest Etsy legacy will be falling on your ass. The good news is, for you there's nowhere to go but up.

Buh-bye!

It's About DAM Time

After years of suggesting, campaigning, complaining, Etsy has been dragged kicking and screaming into the DAM light. That's right ladies and gentlemen, Dolls and Miniatures finally landed their own category.

HeyMichelle posted this afternoon that the Dolls and Miniatures category will be rolled out on October 6th and referred everyone to this Dorque article. She also went on to detail the category and it's sub, and sub-sub categories:

ART DOLL
- ooak
- Editions
- Fantasy
- Folk Art
- Horror
- Goth (or Gothic? please discuss.)
- Victorian (?)
- Primitive
- Ceramic
- Porcelain
- Polymer Clay
- Fabric (or cloth? or sewn?)
- Paper doll
- Needle felted
- Animal
- Anthropomorphic
- Assemblage
- Babies (wording may change)
- Children (wording may change)
- Altered Dolls
- bjd Ball Jointed Dolls
- Characters

AMIGURUMI
- Plant
- Food
- Animal
- Figure (or person, or human figure?)

PLUSH
- sewn (or sewn fabric? or fabric? or cloth?)
- felt
- food
- animal
- human (or human figure or person?)
- plant

CLOTHING FOR DOLLS
- Blythe (this could go to 2nd level)
- dress
- pants
- shorts
- skirt
- shirt
- blouse
- sweater
(considering for clothing for dolls, and accessories for dolls some style sub-subs: kawaii, historical, horror, fantasy, etc)


ACCESSORIES FOR DOLLS
- Blythe (this could go to 2nd level)
- Reborn
- hat
- scarf
- shoes
- jewelry
- purse
- socks
- (other types of items for clothing/accessories- may add now, or add later as people list.)

ARTIST BEARS
- jointed
- miniature
- real fur
- recycled fur
- mohair
- plush
- felted
- teddy bear friends (hmmm? not sure about this. What does this mean?)

MINIATURE
- Animal
- Figure (or person? or human figure? or Character?)
- Plant
- house
- Book
- Artwork
- Ceramic
- Wood (or wooden)
- Polymer Clay
- Felted
- Horror
- Fantasy
- Folk Art
- Primitive
- Victorian (?)
- Waldorf (?- may get mistagged. I'm hesitant because of that)
- Indie or cute (good idea? not sure about this)

DOLLHOUSE MINIATURE
- half scale
- quarter inch scale (or one 48th scale)
- eighth scale dollhouse miniature
- one 12th scale (is there a "name" for this?)
- Playscale one 6th
- pottery
- turnings
- furniture
- decor (?)- can we/should we get more specific here?
- food
- Artwork
- books
- plants
- Needlework
- flowers

DOLLHOUSES
- full sized dollhouse (can anyone suggest a better name?)
- roombox

SOFT SCULPTURE

REBORN

Good ol' Etsy! There's nothing like ignoring a group of sellers over, and over when they could have given them a simple "hold your panties, it's coming soon, we swear!" Kudos Etsy to finally making the category.

On an interesting side note when one buyer asked "Do you foresee this kind of restructuring of any other large categories in the future?" HeyMichelle had this tidbit in response: "yes, I do foresee things happening in the overall category system...alas, I can't give specifics right now..."
....tease

More irony, please

Yesterday, while Etsy was being crushed under its own weight, fix.etsy.com also broke, completing the chaos. It was eventually repaired and updated with a heartfelt public service message, complete with pics of the fab four.

We're looking forward to the revamp of this page, Etsy. Maybe you might dust it off often enough so that it doesn't get porno spam links over it?

Hellooooo Chad!

We here at Etsy Bitch would like to welcome you with a large cup of coffee and two painkillers of your choice (aspirin, Tylenol, Advil, Vicodin...).

Hopefully, you've had an opportunity to check out the site before today and realized what a disorganized, poorly programmed nightmare you have on your hands. If the code hasn't given you a migraine yet, we'd like to note here what features Etsy customers have been asking for and practically begging (in some cases) for years:

1. FIrst you need a notification system for site announcement that lets users know what (if any) current bugs, what's in development, etc. If Etsy is going to be making changes and improvements to the site Etsy should put the plan in print and send it to all sellers. In fact, all plans and updates should be announced and their progress tracked with a MONTHLY REPORT to all sellers.
   
   
2. And if that system can deliver emails in a timely manner (hours instead of weeks, if ever) that would make us drop dead of shock. Auto notices sent when there are changes to site policies that delivers and functions in a speedy manner, not the "maybe in 5 days I'll get it" way we have now. Many people never get the emails they do send out. This is just disgusting for an e-commerce site.
   
   
3. Convos and notices need to be toggled to OPT-OUT not opt-in. Most buyers are first timers who don't know what the fuck a convo is or how it works. We shouldn't have to suffer a sale gone bad simply because our buyer doesn't know to read the forums, or an online manual on how to use Etsy to know that they aren't getting convos regarding their order. And the sellers don't deserve bad feedback because of it.
   
   
4. A central account activity page when you log in that has the latest tecnical news for Etsy, Dorque articles headlines (and only the headlines please, don't make us gag too much), a space for your current etsy bill total and date due, how many new feedbacks, convos and sales since you last logged in.
   
   
5. If you haven't seen what Verybigjen worked up back in January, go look and do it. It went over well in the forums. It's simply wonderous; notes spaces for your outgoing orders (sigh), buyers emails to be linked on sold pages (gasp!), convos with buyers shortcutted so they can be brought up without two tabs in the browser and five minutes work. It's so brilliantly simple we want to have sex with it and have it's babies. This one is incredibly awesome too.
   
   
6. Let us pay our bills with Paypal. And for god's sake, can you please fix the buying process so it will work seamlessly with Paypal and not the half-assed system we have now that confuses and looses new buyers. We're tired of apologizing for Etsy being a clusterfuck of dumbasses for not being able to nail being a decent commerce site.
   
   
7. More ability to rearrange and control our shops other than by renewing and relisting, a practice Etsy loves as it pads it's pockets.
   
   
8. Half the forums are bullshit and need removed. The social aspect of Etsy has taken over over the site. We should have expected it out of the facebook crowd, but it's just gotten out of hand.
   
   
9. A search that works. A search that works. A search that works!!! Light it up in the sky in letters 50 foot high and set it on fire, A SEARCH THAT WORKS! Don't make us sacrifice a Cupcake to make it happen.
   
   
10. Stats, dammit. (The dammit is not directed at you Chad, we like you so far). Stats! Sure some of it will likely unveil shit that Etsy doesn't want known, like perhaps that most buyers link in from other searches or blogs not from within Etsy-itself, but damn it we need to know what works, and what doesn't.
    
    
11. The ability to organize convos, and favorites. And a way to delete expired items or copy listings would be nice too.
    
    
12. Fix the half assed batch shipping page. It was great we finally got it, but why won't it tell us what everything is set to? How are we to know what "no change" means? Could be something, could be nothing, Who the hell let that one slip by? Oh right, they fired him. Anyway, now that he's gone can you finish what he didn't?
    
    
13. Buying features, er... Flash toys. 75% of them are frivolous and do nothing and need to be deleted. If search worked from the get go there would have been no urge to make them anyway.
    
    
14. Most importantly a technical and customer support issues big-boy ticketing system. If sellers have issues they don't want to be shrugged off or told to clear their cache for every problem or that they just suck. Or be ignored. Or mocked. Or... well anything else Etsy has done to us.

Thanks for taking a moment to read this Chad. Please keep in mind that this list is not the list of eleven anonymous Etsy customers. Rather it is the tip of an iceberg of countless Etsy customers who have posted in the Ideas section of the Etsy forums and been ignored. Over and over again.

I'm sure our readers will have other ideas, we encourage them to post them in comments, and for you to read those as well.

Sincerely,

The Etsy Bitches

Don't Let the Door Hit You In The Ass On Your Way Out!

Today it was announced in the Storque that founding Etsy members Haim Schoppik and Revolving Dork, a.k.a. Chris Maguire, are leaving Etsy.

"Leaving"? Leaving in the same way that Rob Kalin was moved demoted from CEO to Chief Cupcake Officer? Spin it, boys, spin it.

Goodbye, Chris. You'll have to find another company to vandalize the wikipedia for and other news editors to impersonate.

Goodbye, Haim. We're not really sure what you did, other than be on fire.

Three down, one to go. Worried yet, Jared?

Let's Play a Game of Find the Admin

Funny that this forum thread appeared recently, I've spent the last few days combing Etsy for information about Admin usernames and bugging my other EB for help. Why help you ask? Because the About page, Storque About Us series, Storque authorship list, and the wiki don't contain all the information. And not a single one of those sources has the exact same information as the others. I still can't track down usernames for 7 admin listed on the about page, but they're engineers so I guess that's acceptable - they mostly use shops for test listings.

Talk about confusing. No wonder you all asked! It's like finding Waldo.

Anyway, here is a list of Etsy admin usernames, shops, associated collaborations, and relatives. From my count, 23 admin (more than one-third) have 34 shops and Admin hold a total of at least 95 IDs. Day-umn. Talk about bloating the registration figures! (Edit: Nov 3, 2009 These numbers are much higher now than when this article was originally published)

December 23, 2009: Admin are posting in a single forum thread with the ids they use in the forums.

August 27, 2010: Rokali claims 125 Etsy employees and still hiring

Administration

Chief Executive Officer (again) as of Jan 1, 2010 (formerly CEO and then Chief Cupcake er Creative Officer (CCO)): Rob Kalin–rokali (the “founder of Etsy” and parachutes.org)

Chief Technology Officer (CTO): Chad Dickerson - chaddickerson

Chief Operating Officer (COO): Adam Freed - adamfreed (joined Aug 27, 2010)

Operations

Head of ops: MCR (only initials were given by saralouhicks in Storque article, his wife just had a baby)

Consultant: johndmc

Business Development: Jesse Hertzberg - eetzee, gonzo- no disclosure in that profile)

Accountant: Sinohe Terrero– sinoheterrero

International Development: Liz Wald - muka

Finance: Carrington - cwilly3

Lawyer: Sarah Feingold – sarahsays, attorneysarah, feingoldjewelry

Office Ecologist: Pete – petercorrie(shop and main admin account, married to Anda) also known as tubularist, aeiou (closed), librarycopy, petecorrie

Holly - hoanko

Product

VP of Product Management: Sara Hicks - saralouhicks

Design Director, User Experience: Michael Craig - mcraig71

Categories and Taxonomy: Amy DeCicco - amydec

UI Designer: Jen - jendoo

Prototypes and Mockups/user experience: KC - okaysee

Finance and Operations: Beth Ferreira – bethela, beyondthelens

Product Managers: Sean Flannagan - sean11, Tom Kutter - kutty, Eric Stephens - ericds

Design Team: Mandy - aworkinglibrary (Creative Director), Randy J Hunt - randyjhunt (also CitizenScholar), Jay-thinksauce

Software developer: beamrider9

Labs (EtsyLabs has moved from Gold Street – formerly known as Community and Labs, Community is now part of Support)

Etsy’s Official Store: etsystore (formerly etsylabs

Office Manager: Sarah Starpoli - rockstarpoli

Danielle – daniellexo, preciouspups, Secretmade (closed), daniellemaveal

Julie – julieincharge, yoursecretadmiral, familyties (with mom),
fibercontent (mom), lotsofiber (mom)

Anda Corrie(married to Pete) – anda, stopsandstarts, boosterseat, mrscorrie, orphans (closed), babystops (closed), foroneanother (practice/assignment account)
her mom’s shops: thebirdsandbees, appalachia

Screenprinting intern: Morgan - neonmorgan

Storque

Vanessa Bertozzi - vanessa (Moved to Director of Community and Education June 29, 2010)

Editor: Alison Feldmann – teenangster, goldgrass

Videos: Tara – weirdwolf

Videos: Eric Beug - Objecked

Storque intern: Michelle - mtraub

UK Blogger (new Jan 2010): Amity - allthosethrees

French Blogger (new Jan 2010): Amelie - foley

Editorial Director (new June 2010, took over for Vanessa): Juliet - julietgo

Support and Forums

Head of Customer Support: Bernadette Sweeney - bernsweeney

Manager of Policy and Site Content: Lauren Engelhardt– stellaloella seller prior to employee, onmysleeve, etsyjournal (closed), used to collaborate on Etsylou - The Saint Louis area street team (closed)

Tim Pence – Dillinger

Claire Beaudreault– mermaidclaire, onceinadirtywhile

Erin Haldrup – ErinHaldrup, desirest, ErinOrleans

Lori – chillionaire, WreckReation

Jim Chesters –jimchesters

Matt Ford – projectmattnyc

Amber Dubois – adubois

Adrian Nivola –Adrian1

Jason Seger- jasonmseger, JSeger, Smuttons

Caleb – calebwalt,asleeponatrain.etsy.com

Joe – joethebeard, deepinthewoods, thelostplayground (collaboration with Christine listed below)

Rob White – RobWhite and TastesLikeGood

wife’s shop: xiane

LisaJune - theradicalartisan, temporarily used EtsyTrainee, also plays under lisasroommate

Michelle Spaulding– HeyMichelle (Works community@etsy late nights), reconstructionist, dreamsandoutfits

Meesh - loosewire (known better as loosewirestudio, loosewiresupplies), MichelleBarlow

Sebastien - s3bastien

Corinne, Brittany, Noah, Kim

Nickey (forum moderator) - knickey, nickeyvintage

Marketing

Matt Stinchcomb (Etsy Founder)– matt, pigeon; wife (also admin) Benedikta

Adam Brown - adam

Christina Batch-Lee (Founder of Adorn Magazine) – missbatch, artobject

Emily Bidwell – emilybidwell

Web Analytics Manager: Neelam Hasni -neelam12

Director of Marketing: Nizzi Renaud - missniz, sweetniz

Mailing list: Mike Becak - mikeynice

Merchandising: Christine – iheartmoustaches, jackrabbit, christinedomanic, TheLostPlayground (collaboration)

Merchandising: Mary – MaryMary, contrary, unelephantrose

Barbara - barbs99

Engineering and developers (? = no information in profile to confirm who it is but username is provided in Storque articles, forum threads, or test listings)

VP of Technical Operations: John Allspaw

Dottie the dog (which explains a lot!!)

Eric – likeomg

Bryan Schwab - bschwab

Chris Bohn (CB) – longhaul ?, etsybozo

Dan McKinley - mcfunley

David - davidgiffin

Public API: Justin Sheckley - Stunji

Kyle - twokb

Steve Andrews - sa451, possibly sajandrews (no disclosure that it's admin, RobWhite said it is but not which admin)

Ian Meyer – imeyer

KevinLawler

Flash guru and Etsy Founder: Jared Tarbell - Jared
Paulie - OhPauleez

Jakob von Eichel- vonmilan

Rebekah Hodgson - bekness

Nicholas Cook - nicholascook

EtsyHacks, also known as Ian - indec, ehax, indecorous

Wife: Sarah of twolittlewrens

SEO specialist with SEOmoz: Rand - randfish

Chris Munns - munns

George - Georgyo ?

Tabo ?

Alex – alexandersomma ?

Bob - fumanchu ?

Paul – pasilveira ?

Alec – scaramouche ?

Test accounts: Samusaran ?, rbaboom ?

Rachel - rachelv111

Gerry - TheRealMackenzie

Wil - quiiver

Mike - mikebritts (mikebrittain)

The 5 guys from Adtuitive, including: Isaac Oates - ioates, Greg Fodor - gfodor, Jason Davis - jasondavis, and Matt Walker - mattwalker

ahashim ?

kastner ?

etsyfoo ?

mrembetsy ?

efixler ?

stefankarpinsky ?

No username or information provided but listed on About page as Engineers, might be some of the unassociated usernames above:

Rob B, Erik, Kristian, Ahmed, Eric, Vincent

Admin also hold:

CustomerCare

TheStorque

EtsyinthePress

TechUpdates

EtsyTeams

TheEtsyCollection (manned by Pete Corrie)

And use the following as non-storefront/profile pages:

Developer (the API interface)

Community (the community hub page)

Former Admin:
Bre Pettis (The Hammock Guy)– brepettis (left Etsy October 21, 2008)

WonderAmy (left before Winter 2008)

Chris – RevolvingDork (gone Summer 2008)

Haim (summer 2008)

Kelly – kfarrell (gone Autumn 2008)

Sara – sarawearsskirts, girlscantell, chickenbutt (laid off December 2008)

Ashley – AshleyJacobsen, ashleywhitejacobsen (seller prior to hire, no longer at Etsy as of Jan 19, 2009)

Dave Lifson – CaterpillarCowboy (no longer with Etsy, but still known for making rude comments about Etsy sellers in public)

Jorge – jorgelo (no longer working for Etsy as of June 24, 2009)

Jay (closed) (wife: lollibomb)

Zak – zakj

Lakin – lakinwecker

Mike – mikeH

Annette – annettemusick

Statistics/Strategic Planning: Charles Smith – winenutnyc

Former CEO (1/1/2010) Maria Thomas - pesmou

We will keep this list updated as best we can, if you know of others, post them to the comments so they can be added as well. So you can find this quickly, it is now in the "Etsy Links" section in the left sidebar! Now your DNBF list is complete! *Last updated Sept 13, 2010.