We here at Etsy Bitch would like to welcome you with a large cup of coffee and two painkillers of your choice (aspirin, Tylenol, Advil, Vicodin...).
Hopefully, you've had an opportunity to check out the site before today and realized what a disorganized, poorly programmed nightmare you have on your hands. If the code hasn't given you a migraine yet, we'd like to note here what features Etsy customers have been asking for and practically begging (in some cases) for years:
- FIrst you need a notification system for site announcement that lets users know what (if any) current bugs, what's in development, etc. If Etsy is going to be making changes and improvements to the site Etsy should put the plan in print and send it to all sellers. In fact, all plans and updates should be announced and their progress tracked with a MONTHLY REPORT to all sellers.
- And if that system can deliver emails in a timely manner (hours instead of weeks, if ever) that would make us drop dead of shock. Auto notices sent when there are changes to site policies that delivers and functions in a speedy manner, not the "maybe in 5 days I'll get it" way we have now. Many people never get the emails they do send out. This is just disgusting for an e-commerce site.
- Convos and notices need to be toggled to OPT-OUT not opt-in. Most buyers are first timers who don't know what the fuck a convo is or how it works. We shouldn't have to suffer a sale gone bad simply because our buyer doesn't know to read the forums, or an online manual on how to use Etsy to know that they aren't getting convos regarding their order. And the sellers don't deserve bad feedback because of it.
- A central account activity page when you log in that has the latest tecnical news for Etsy, Dorque articles headlines (and only the headlines please, don't make us gag too much), a space for your current etsy bill total and date due, how many new feedbacks, convos and sales since you last logged in.
- If you haven't seen what Verybigjen worked up back in January, go look and do it. It went over well in the forums. It's simply wonderous; notes spaces for your outgoing orders (sigh), buyers emails to be linked on sold pages (gasp!), convos with buyers shortcutted so they can be brought up without two tabs in the browser and five minutes work. It's so brilliantly simple we want to have sex with it and have it's babies. This one is incredibly awesome too.
- Let us pay our bills with Paypal. And for god's sake, can you please fix the buying process so it will work seamlessly with Paypal and not the half-assed system we have now that confuses and looses new buyers. We're tired of apologizing for Etsy being a clusterfuck of dumbasses for not being able to nail being a decent commerce site.
- More ability to rearrange and control our shops other than by renewing and relisting, a practice Etsy loves as it pads it's pockets.
- Half the forums are bullshit and need removed. The social aspect of Etsy has taken over over the site. We should have expected it out of the facebook crowd, but it's just gotten out of hand.
- A search that works. A search that works. A search that works!!! Light it up in the sky in letters 50 foot high and set it on fire, A SEARCH THAT WORKS! Don't make us sacrifice a Cupcake to make it happen.
- Stats, dammit. (The dammit is not directed at you Chad, we like you so far). Stats! Sure some of it will likely unveil shit that Etsy doesn't want known, like perhaps that most buyers link in from other searches or blogs not from within Etsy-itself, but damn it we need to know what works, and what doesn't.
- The ability to organize convos, and favorites. And a way to delete expired items or copy listings would be nice too.
- Fix the half assed batch shipping page. It was great we finally got it, but why won't it tell us what everything is set to? How are we to know what "no change" means? Could be something, could be nothing, Who the hell let that one slip by? Oh right, they fired him. Anyway, now that he's gone can you finish what he didn't?
- Buying features, er... Flash toys. 75% of them are frivolous and do nothing and need to be deleted. If search worked from the get go there would have been no urge to make them anyway.
- Most importantly a technical and customer support issues big-boy ticketing system. If sellers have issues they don't want to be shrugged off or told to clear their cache for every problem or that they just suck. Or be ignored. Or mocked. Or... well anything else Etsy has done to us.
Thanks for taking a moment to read this Chad. Please keep in mind that this list is not the list of eleven anonymous Etsy customers. Rather it is the tip of an iceberg of countless Etsy customers who have posted in the Ideas section of the Etsy forums and been ignored. Over and over again.
I'm sure our readers will have other ideas, we encourage them to post them in comments, and for you to read those as well.
The Etsy Bitches