Saturday, October 4, 2008

Want A Job? Etsy Needs An Intern!

Then the Dorque needs YOU! Yes any college or post-graduate student willing to be suckered into - er, umm - take on the challenge of being the Dorque's Blog Copy Editor/Viral Distributor.

Yep, you could be in charge of editing articles ranging from fashion trends (cupcakes are IN!!!!) to Tech updates (new DAM category!!!). As it stands right now the Dorque covers such a broad range of information that the usefull important stuff gets buried under crap like "Quit Your Day Job, Go On Unemployment, and Live in Your Parent's Basement!!!!"

Minimum Qualifications (with some minor modifications from the Bitches in itallics)

* Experience in online or print editorial, copy-editing, writing, researching and reporting (preferably fashion, culture) Experience which involves actual college courses in writing might help

* Experience with photo editing (for print, film, stock photos, etc)

* Photoshop We think they want you to be able to edit those photos in Photoshop, though they are a bit cryptic here.

* Basic html, blogging software knowledge

* Strong communication skills in dealing with customers, online communities, interview subjects, as well as coworkers

* Ability to tolerate socially-challenged co-workers *coughcoughcoughdanilexocoughcoughcough* a plus!

* Merchandising or styling experience (great taste a plus!) Of course what you consider to be great taste and what they consider to be Indie and kewl might be two totally different things.

* Self-motivated (show up to work on time, mmmkay??)

* Detail-oriented in doing the best job possible (A fundamental grasp of the english language and B.A.S.I.C. grammar skills are a plus!)

* Passionate about blogging and new media content The ability to sustain your passion after the glow of your new job wears off is a plus!

* Career goals at the intersection of editorial, new media, online communities, art and subcultures Having any kind of career goals is a great plus!

* Adaptable to a crazy start-up environment (translation: ability to tolerate a ton of unbelievable, unprofessional bullshit a plus!)

* A curious mind (especially in regards to DIY, fashion, entrepreneurship; and other publications) Have enough imagination to actually explore new innovative sites rather than looking outside your window to see what all the kewl hipsters are wearing is a definite plus!

Feel up to the challenge? Are you a masochist? Apply today!


life-during-wartime said...

IOW, they want a person who thinks a line drawing logo of a stork that looks like a dodo is hawt. So thru the intern's taste and skillz, the Dorque's style can transform young humans into handmade and/or vintage dodos, dodos will be brought back from extinction and take over the planet. Sounds like a plan to me. Or maybe an idea for the next film musical starring Paris Hilton (playing the intern, of course)?

Like, who cares about the Dorque anyway? Etsy has real issues they're not dealing with.

The Funny One said...

There aren't enough days in the year to handle this one - pay an intern LESS to edit a "rag" that Etsy thinks is so important, it's worth 50% time for several employees to post countless new daily articles, yet it's only worthy of paying a PT editor. Ha! so that's the problem, get another under 20 year old to edit a bunch of other 20 somethings who can't write a clear sentence if their lives depended on it.

Well, Chad, did your employees tell you that this Blog gets rave reviews because the Comments for every article are edited and sanitized? Talk about stacking the odds in your favor!

Your massive blog is the reason nothing changes or improves on Etsy, and it can't respond to its massive "problems of scale" because your employees are hiding out in the blogging room. It can't get worse.

Dear Etsy, spend some money from those thousands of daily $15 average sales and hire a pro to survey your sellers and buyers about what they really think of your massive, self-agrandizing, self congratulatory blog, and you still don't have a decent customer service department.

Impetuous said...

I'll write for the Dorque...
Here's my first article:

foxaz said...

Doesn't Anda have a sister or something?

Old Hippie Bitch said...

"Crazy Start-up" Is that for reals?

Crazy = we don't get nothin' done and we don't care cuz we're crrraziiii!!!

I want to smack the person who calls a 3 1/2 year old venue a start-up.

Andy Mathis said...

63 people, and they need an intern?

The Cranky One said...

Intern's just another word for someting less than care.

Anonymous said...

Great, more immature garbage. Just what we need to attract mature, well-to-do customers.
Bleah. Cheap, and you get what you pay for.

zander said...

mmm... any prerequisite qualifications regarding hammock fuck-ups?

Paw and Claw Designs said...

why does that job requirement list read like the "Intro to Modern Journalism Course" list the local middle school offers?

The Funny One said...

That's right, Chad, look under the covers.........because not only are the blog article comments edited, sanitized and censored, your very own employees line up for every article and add their "Awesome!" "Luv this one!" "Goooleeeeee isn't this cute?" to the list of pro-blog propoganda.

No, don't hire an intern to do the editing, take your employees off the damn thing and get them to do some work for a change!


This retail period may be the last one for the next 5 years where people might still spend a decent amount of money on holiday gifts and you are sitting on your asses doing nothing at all for your sellers.

sigh said...

smacks of age-ism

Eveline said...

foxaz said...

Doesn't Anda have a sister or something?


Her daughter should be old enough by now.

Ladies Auxilliary said...

Yes, Anda does have a sister:

Too old!

eclipse said...

Does not use the word "thus" in every freakin article.

Does not think killing sprees are sexy.

Can remember to check featured items to make sure they are actually handmade.

Proficient in spell-check.