Monday, August 11, 2008

From the Bitches Auxiliary: The Sexiness of Bonnie and Clyde

TEN THINGS SEXIER THAN DRIVING CROSS COUNTRY WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND ON A MURDER SPREE AND DYING IN A HAIL OF BULLETS

1. Strawberries dipped in chocolate

2. Boy shorts

3. Driving to Ikea with your boyfriend

4. Assembling the HURJIT dining set

5. Barry White's "Let's Get it On"

6. Ping Pong balls

7. A moonlit stroll along the beach

8. That weird no-man's land where Burton Way, San Vicente and La Cienega Boulevard all come together

9. Christian Bale in The Dark Night

10. Christian Bale in The Machinist

24 Comments:

blujaybird said...

Sorry bitches but you are grasping for straws here. Glorifying mayhem and murder is the American way...too bad the Dorque story sucks but it ain't a true etsy bitch. Besides, who reads that drivel anyway? Stick to the business of etsy, where your bitches are better served.

TheSneakyOne said...

blujay, this was a reader submission by e-mail, as evidenced by the blue text.

We decide the content of this blog, not you. We felt it was relevant, or snarky, and we post it.

Cover That Mother said...

Just wanted to say, "Let's get it on" is by Marvin Gaye not Barry White. And, it is a very hot sexy song.

TheSneakyOne said...

Thanks for the correction! It is much appreciated.

I agree, it is a *very* sexy song.

sulking said...

OMG totally off topic but I had to say this somewhere people would understand: the current FP features that seller who is ripping off theblackapple by selling dolls from her pattern! It makes me so sad to see this happen to any seller, but how can Etsy not notice when it's the effing blackapple??? surely they know what her work looks like :(
BAH.

The Righteous One said...

blujaybird, the listing you link to is using a copyrighted image.

Etsy made the same mistake.

blujaybird said...

I get your drift thesneakyone..and I usually agree with your bitches. I just feel like people expect etsy to act with morality when its really just an e-commerce site. Advertisers are not interested in anyones morals, just sales. People need to stop expecting a PC , democratic site that caters to their particular morals. It just isn't 'gonna happen.

The Funny One said...

Morals and PC aside, the real problem is, what ecommerce site sets up an in-house blog that is so completely tacky that it drives potential buyers away? Bad taste, really crappy writing, and who the heck thinks up these "themes"?

It isn't about selling, it's about pushing a personal Etsy agenda. Etsy is forcing their own questionable tastes on their public while excluding 95% of the total stores that they invited to set up on their site!

This reader contribution was very refreshing, btw.

godot said...

I think the etsy admin see the writing on the wall and will soon be gone the way of Rob. I don't think they care what happens to etsy, and I now include the latest sell out Rob White.

When you defend the Storque, you gotta go.

life-during-war-time said...

What TFO said. Pretty soon there will be a series of treasuries celebrating either Bonnie and Clyde, other famous murderers, or something along these lines. Etsy admins, with their usual fabulous taste, will choose some for the homepage. How many people are gonna be visiting Etsy for the first time, or after a long absence, see gun items and stuff stenciled with famous crims the admins picked on the homepage, and just click the back button. Maybe never to return. Yeah, right, crime is like so indie...I mean, what's next for these creeps? A video on how to decorate your space for a waterboarding?

The Righteous One said...

"People need to stop expecting a PC , democratic site"

were you around for the constitution? Etsy set itself up as a democratic site...we're only asking for what they promised

impetuous said...

blujaybird, EB isn't they only one "grasping" to understand this stupidity.

http://consumerist.com/5035498/backlash-etsycoms-sexy-mass-murderers

Old Hippie Bitch said...

Get this straight...it's not about political correctness! Asking "what's sexier" is just CREEPY.

AND it was poorly written.
AND it confused movie costumes with fashion of the period.
AND it got the decade wrong.
AND some have charged several featured items are neither vintage nor handmade.

That IS the "business of etsy," pal.

Paw and Claw Designs said...

WOW, Bonnie & Clyde must be EXTRA not sexy, cuz Christian Bale ain't sexy at ALL!

ebbandflo said...

re: sulking

... and the dorque article is headed by a tracing of a film still

eclipse said...

11. slugs gettin it on.

waterboy said...

"I just feel like people expect etsy to act with morality when its really just an e-commerce site. Advertisers are not interested in anyones morals, just sales. People need to stop expecting a PC , democratic site that caters to their particular morals. It just isn't 'gonna happen."

No business is "just" anything these days.

Walmart is riding bigtime on the green bandwagon in an attempt to cully favour with the consumer green movement, KFC just got pressured into changing it's chicken slaughter process and introduced a veggie chicken burger,
liquor companies ask consumers to drink responsibly, etc etc.
To require etsycorp to behave in a moral manner is not out of the realm of reality.

In fact, with it's aspirations to create and sustain a handmade revolution they have placed themselves in a position where their customers have a right to demand the social niceties/manners we take for granted in our regular everyday shopping experience. They (etsycorp) represent a vast number of people of all creeds, colours, religions, upbringings, education,and nationalities.
Their public articles should be thoughful and thought provoking, educational and enlightening.

This *shouldn't* be so *hard*.

They don't need to create scathing editorials, they don't need to be critical geniusii and they aren't required to break Watergate type stories.

They just need to be as inoffensive in their workday as possible, let individual sellers take the risks and do the hard work of being something other than smart and pleasant.

IMO of course. :)

ebbandflo said...

if etsy hadn't set itself up on such a high moral ground i doubt if there would be half so much comment on their mistakes these days

and eclipse, ewww slugs .... but good point!

confused said...

When did Bonnie Parker become a fashion Icon of the 30's?

The Disgruntled One said...

Great post, waterboy, great post.

Ladies Auxilliary said...

"its really just an e-commerce site"

BWAHAHAHA! If only ETSY would remember that it is an e-commerce site :) Not a crappy writing mill. My gawd, that would be the answer to our prayers...

The Funny One said...

Right on waterboy!

But, ya know, Etsy has been cultivating Big Huge Personalities for 3 years, so big, they each think Etsy is their personal blog, their personal shopper, and their personal publicist.

Etsy is all about the 63 people it pays to insult their public from here to the end of their little world.

I am spending my money this year on all those ecommerce sites where you never hear from, never see, and never know who WORKS THERE.

They sure are off my party list (and my craft-show invite list).

Next to the Swimmy Wall is probably a big faux graffiti tag that says "It's all Etsy Admins and nothing else at all."

Erika said...

Just wanted to say it's "The Dark Knight", not "The Dark Night".

SuzeesJubileeZ said...

I can understand your dismay. I remember when I ran an art show regarding violence against women and some showed up with grotesque slice up doll sculptures. One of my coworkers was up set and shocked ART. what can I say. Sellling violence is perhaps a different matter. One thing though It gets ya talking.