EB Comments of the Week, October 26th

upsetwithadmin said...

OH! That explains so much. Now I know why Admin lies all the time. Following in the footsteps of their now ex-CEO.

jodie nicholson said...

Oh Etsy, how your constant fuckitude never fails to disappoint.

Grace said...

Etsy is more like the abusive husband that keeps promising to get therapy and "work on it". Etsy brings you flowers when you least expect it (fancy widgets), but refuses to take out the trash when you ask.

Right now, I'm seeing other websites on the side, and getting my finances in order so that I can file for divorce. A girl can only take so much.

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EB Comments of the Week, September 3rd

impetuous said...

Etsy has never known how to capitalize on anything so I think their parachutes will be bronze at best.

Grace said...

OMG, those IWBF posts make me crazy. I'm so stubborn,it just makes me really want to NOT do those things, just because.

People like that make me want to start smoking again, and let a couple dozen stray cats into my studio!

WindysDesigns said...

Welcome Chad, please don't eat the cupcakes or drink the koolaid. If you don't, you might just be the answer to our prayers.

Best wishes on your Etsy journey!

ebbandflo said...

was that a carrot or a stick being waved in our direction?

which part of the skinner box am i in now?

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EB Comments of the Week, August 20th

kibbles said...
Wouldn't it be easier if we just sent a list of the truly handmade shops? This would be a much shorter list.

astley said...
Does anyone else ever feel like they are constantly being Rick Roll'd on Etsy?

embellisher said...
We care, Windys because it's the human element: someone touched it, molded it, cast their vision upon the waves and let it go. We stayed up late, burning the oil, didn't buy food so we could buy supplies, labored to put ourselves in that vision, opened ourselves up to ridicule, scorn, praise, whatever. It's not just about the money. We'd do it for free (heck, some of us are, when you check our prices)We have jobs yet this is our passion, our therapy. We love knowing our creations made someone smile, laugh, cry, just endure a little longer in this crazy world. It's like childbirth, you have to get it out. We have slipped discs, carpal tunnel syndrome, failing eyesight, and yet we persevere. It's everything and yet nothing. it connects us to everyone else, creates a community among far-flung people, takes us out of our self-imposes cocoons.

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EB Comments of the Week, August 12th Part 2

...and yes I know it's not the 12th. Personal life can play hell on one's online intentions.

Smarty Pants said...

I've emptied my shop until/if Etsy gets it act together. I can't risk $$ at this point in my life on something with such a ridiculous rate of failure. It's just another website, really. Millions are created every day.

Julie said...

I am speechless that after that long thread, with people talking about their personal experience with the pain of losing loved ones to murder (and I didn't post, but I could have talked about that as well) that the *only* reaction was "Well, they have to write a lot, so some of it isn't that good." (And yeah - maybe cutting down on the sheer quantity of articles might be a good idea if that is the case.)

embellisher said...

That's when I knew that the investors want some interest on their 27M and won't care how they get it:

no stats (cause then everyone would be like, oh what, to hell with showcases and renewing, bump that!)


letting everybody and their mother with employees in. Yeah, having a fashion designer with employees on etsyfinds, like now one was going to notice.

Just come the hell out and say a spade is a spade and lose the effing tagline already.

Charlotte Marie said...

Disgusted but not suprised by this latest move by Etsy to silence critics.

And as much as I've enjoyed the witty writing and investigations, where has all the bitching got us? Etsy is still an imcompetent site and getting worse everyday. The new CEO changed nothing. Storque articles regularly offend and disgust members and potential customers. What is there to hope for anymore? Really, it's time to beat them at their own game.

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EB Comments of the Week, August 12th Part 1

impetuous said...

I wait until the face frowns. I like to see Etsy get pissed.

Ladies Auxilliary said...

Maybe Etsy can knit itself a customer service department.

caethes said...

Nonononono! You don't understand! It's a cunning (and cleverly hidden) promo for international sellers, to keep them happy and distracted from all the other problems.

Elizabeth nominated...

Back to School showcase is ONLY clothing.

Great.

Perhaps I should roll out my line of Back-to-School Birthday Suits, and throw in a "free" dorm quilt with every purchase.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

godot said...

The guy at the top proudly proclaimed he crafted a fake id to go to college. What makes you think anyone else at etsy has integrity?

What makes me steam is the crap that has gone on since Maria took over. Either she can't reign in the employees, or she's really there for an entirely different purpose.

caethes said...

And Etsy dumps Paraquat on it's grassroots once again!

Every time I
think they can't get any worse -and then they do.

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EB Comments of the Week, August 1st

I am SO the boss of you! said...

Etsy is like a box of stale chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

Wende said...

Oh geeze, cut Cupcake boy some slack. You know he meant to say, "63 people are making a living off the backs of 200,000 sellers."

eclipse said...

nail polish on men is hot, but NOT coral. Black or silver or cobalt blue. Coral is for old ladies at the early bird dinner in Boca Raton.

emndyaz said...

I am SO glad I do not have to have

A)sex

or

B)Christmas

with him.

Eb Comments of the Week July 25th

interloper said...

etsy is a prime example of "too many chiefs not enough Indians", or a more politically correct version "too many pimps not enough hos"
there are too many ideas, but not enough people to do anything about it, or think them through.
let's be ebay!
no let's be amazon!
ZOMG let's be myspace!

ShrugItOff said...

Ha!

The time to think up a good burn on the Etsy Bitches.....3 hours

Time to think up a cool anonymous name......... 10 minutes

Time to relish in the cutting bite to your comment.... 20 minutes

Looking like an ass...Priceless

dillon designs said...

Man, there's nothing sadder than a "gotcha!" gone wrong.

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EB Comments of the Week, July 20th, Pt 2

stace said...

just another reason i say, not to start those threads. it could bite you in the tush.

Kali said...

Oooh, the newbies are tender. I'll go turn the oven on.

Combustion Glassworks said...

Wow...

It probably took ten times the effort to create this then to implement a one button Vacation Mode that would send most of us to our graves from shock.

real thinking outside the hammock..

The Ebon Swan said...

I don't think it's that. I've noticed that *any* thread with EtsyBitch links gets shut down quicker than a fifty disappearing down a prostitute's cleavage.

Prevent confusion my ass.

EB Comments of the Week, July 18th, Pt 1

Y'all are so good that I have more than enough for two posts. The second EB comments will go up on Sunday.

sherry said...

I spent two days with high hopes, collecting questions from my fellow sellers in an excel spreadsheet for the Town Meeting.
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5701418

Mary compiled her own, but similar version and I added the questions people sent via convo and e-mail. I was thanked for all my hard work.

So what happened? Not one thing, not one question answered, not one.

impetuous said...

The fact that Maria is on board with all of the cloak and dagger makes me think something more than people, process, product is going on.

It's all quite simple Etsy. Either keep things as they are and actually communicate your intentions with your business or stop fucking asking for everyones input.

I wish everyone with an idea or suggestion just stopped posting and let Etsy hang in the breeze. Then when they post "What are your ideas for blah blah blah" everyone could say:

"We think this is important too, and we are thinking on it, we can't say exactly when we will POST about it though..."

tralala said...

i used to work at a movie theater and we'd have contests to sell the out dated candy bars and the prize was outdated candy bars. we'd harass people into buying crappy lion king chocolate for their dates and it was fun and it was probably the most time we ever spent bothering to talk to any of our customers. where's the metaphor - is etsy the surly teenagers behind the candy counter or the crumbled waxy tasting chocolate, i'm not sure but it's all i can think about these last two days.

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EB Comments of the Week, July 13th

Closed Threads said...

My new idea, which I believe I shared in the other thread, is to collect the items you have flagged in the past and that still remain on Etsy and make treasuries of them. Name the treasuries "Flagged" or something.

This might be the fastest way to draw attention to the items.

(or to get banned)

one or the other...
________________________

I tried this. Created a ClosedThreads Etsy account and made a beautiful treasury that even had a Playstation 3! My account was closed and the treasury was taken down within a half hour.

Yet the other sock puppets are allowed to stay somehow....

eclipse said...

"any kind of white powder will do"
hmmmmmm
Have you discovered the secret ingredient of Etsy's magic cupcakes?

jodie nicholson said...

It may be crap as a hammock....but as a gag for DXO, perfect!

forum rubbernecker said...

In my experience, people who put together clothes with duct tape, etc. are usually called......

homeless.

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EB Comments of the Week, July 5th

Simone said...

Dammit ... I knew it was going to be all my own stupid fault somehow! I'll just go outside and shoot myself.

forum rubbernecker said...

Here are a few more names for admin that I sometimes am just itching to use:

N. Competent
N. Experienced
N. Sensitive
N. Ept

You get the idea.

are-they-serious said...

I don't think I'll mention what thread it was though. Some things are better left dead, buried, and locked.

lurker said...

Maybe Matt needs to conduct workshops for Etsy employees.

Repeat after me:
"I made a mistake. I'm sorry."

And then the group can do the equivalent of writing phrases repeatedly on the chalk board --- no cut & paste allowed.

"Now, fellow admins, open a new document on your desktop and practice your forum typing apologies, 50 times.
Ready? Begin.
*I made a mistake, I'm sorry.*"

Matt can teach them; I have faith.

panik said...

funny...and all this time i thought buddy holly died in a plane crash along with the big bopper and ritchie valens. i guess i was mistaken. apparently he borrowed a sewing machine from his grandma (hey - does she live in the midwest and make "traditional crafts?...if so - let vanessa know), attached a fey label on it saying he would "rather be riding a unicorn" and fell to his death between two shoddy street signs on a brooklyn sidewalk. when will they learn? "that'll be the day ay ay when they die"

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Quotables: It's the Etsy Sing-Off!!!

Just add cupcakes and beer

ETSY THEME SONG
To Cheers tune
I started the first couple lines feel free to add

Listin' some crafts on-line , today, tkae everything you've got.

Sell one thing, here on etsy, sure would mean alot.

Wouldn't that really make your day?

Some times you wanna go

where everybody makes handmade

and your always glad to trade...

You know the tune

THE ETSY BASH

I was posting in the forums late one night
When my eyes beheld a disgusting sight
Daniellexo posting like a teen
And suddenly I felt mean

I did the BASH
I did the Etsy bash
The Etsy bash
It was a snark-filled smash
I did the bash
It caught on in a flash
We did the bash
We did the Etsy bash

From the Storque all filled with fluff
To Gift Guides, filled with Admin's stuff
The dissatisfied came out of their shop
To tell Admin. to make the crap stop

They did the BASH
They did the Etsy bash
The Etsy bash
It was a snark-filled smash
They did the bash
It caught on in a flash
They did the bash
They did the Etsy bash

The Admins were just having fun
The party had just begun
They were eating cupcakes
and creating puns

Customers were not pleased with their frolic and play
Many shop owners shouted and some did not stay
The cheerleaders were beginning to yell
"Leave Admin alone and YOU go to hell"

Leaving his PlayStation, Rokali finally appeared
"Don't worry" he said "we'll get everything cleared"
He opened a box and swimmy swam out
Then thick frosted cupcakes were thrown about

They did the BASH
They did the Etsy bash
The Etsy bash
It was a snark-filled smash
They did the bash
It caught on in a flash
They did the bash
They did the Etsy bash

Cast your votes in the comments, Happy 4th!!

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Eb Comments of the Week

Anonymous old hippie bitch said...

C'mon, EB. That disaster from Vanessa deserves its own post!

What if "old" was replaced with "fat"?

Hi!!!:) This is your favorite cute admin, Cupcake Head! We have a
long layover in Hicksville, so we thought we'd feature our fatter
demographic. After all, you've got 'em there!

We're not looking for cute, skinny, hip crafters like us. We want
big-ass boomers who do traditional crafts like whittlin' and chewed
tobacco sculpting.

I'm dreaming of the 600 lb man who can't leave his house, but
still makes knit beer can hats.

Convo us, fatties!

forum rubbernecker said...

Good grief! I am really smart and even I won't try etching metal. With apologies to those without health insurance, I can see the forum posts now:

"Help, I got acid in my eye doing the Etsy metal etching tutorial they gave online, do you think it will stop eating away my eyeball eventually? I don't have health insurance and a doctor's visit will cost too much"

Replies:

"Thank goodness I live in Canada where healthcare is free"

"Maybe see how much of your eyeball is left on Monday and then call a doctor"

"OMG, I am so sorry this happened"

"Once I got pickle juice in my eye and it hurt so bad, I know how you feel"

And so on .........

Quotable Quotes: From EB Comments

"Etsy: Your place for touchy feely goodness with no business stuff to make you feel bad!"

Quotable Quotes: From EB comments

"I bought the Etsy seller experience and all I got was this stupid bill for relisting!"