Hand over your lunch money

Since it's the weekend, Etsy admin are a skeleton crew of forum moderators and, well, that's usually about it! So when overdue notices for bills went out 24 hours early, on Saturday night, it had "FAIL" written all over it.

Paypal was released in beta and then to everyone (how ridiculous is that. We all know you just add the Paypal button and voila people can pay you, why Etsy couldn't do this is still a mystery) just this month. At the same time, and what many don't know is that they also removed the $1 minimum payment block. So if you owe 94, 60, 30, or even 7 cents you can pay it now.

And this is where the debacle starts....because Etsy even changed the wording on overdue notices and riled a lot of feathers.

"If we do not receive your payment in full, your Etsy account will be suspended."

Really? How about "nanna nanna boo boo we're gonna break your tricycle and take your helmet if you don't give me your lunch money!" or "come on fool, don't make me bust your kneecaps, hand over the dough". Those make just as much sense because the billing policies say you have to be 60 days overdue before suspension of listing and renewing occurs, then 90 days past due for actual account suspension!

And the best part of all of this - Etsy said they were going to email every seller to announce the changes before the next billing cycle, but introduced the changes this billing cycle...they want their money and they're going to weasel it out of us if they have to.

The professional thing to do would be to announce the changes with a mass email, because this affects money and money is the basis of lawsuits for companies, one billing cycle prior to implementation. Are they going to send 60 cents to collections because someone hasn't paid a static balance in 5 months under the previous system? You know, actually, this might be pretty funny to watch if they do.

Another professional thing would be to not use frowning yarn (which are worse than those damn frowny faces on the bill page) to tell us our accounts will be suspended if we don't pony up a few dimes. Yes, that picture above is the actual image from the screen that comes up at login when your bill is "overdue". Full screencap here.

Ok, a lot went wrong this time. According to the billing clarification in a Storque article bills are past due on March 15 23:59 GMT. It was, according to one Etsians calculations, only Midnight GMT on March 15, though that exact wording is no longer in the FAQ. RobWhite, who appears to be the only admin around on Saturday nights, had this to say

As it stands now, your bill is considered overdue at the start of the 15th, in GMT/UTC time (for those of you in the US, now that we're on daylight savings time, you'll likely be somewhere between 4-7 hours behind UTC time). This is the first month in which we've used all of the notices that we have in order to tell those with overdue bills that their bills are overdue.

So is this another new policy change? How did we miss this? Oh, yeah, right...no fucking email! We've been combing the Storque for the information to the point of nuasea (can you believe that the billing information is hidden amongst Rosie Live, Branding Hooray, and Guest Picks articles!).

And then there are the default settings screwing things up and sellers possibly being overcharged because of the Paypal, full balance settings. Yes, people need to be careful when hitting the payment button, double-check everything twice, especially with Etsy who have been known to double charge and not be nice with refunds or handling overdraft fees. If you back up to change one setting, the other is likely reset to default!

So, all in all, how bad was this one? Hmmm let's list the stupidity:

• 24 hour too early late notices (midnight March 15 GMT instead of 23:59 March 15 GMT, unless this has been changed, which is another issue)
• threat of suspension for 1-day late when they note in the billing policies that it's 2 months (technically 6 weeks cuz of the 15th thing)
• that stupid unapproving ball of yarn upon login
• no email notification of new policy regarding elimination of $1 minimum
• default settings that revert when backing up to change the auto Paypal setting that is screwing some people up

On a scale of 1 to 10 this is a 17...nice going Etsy. If you don't mind, can we give you a pointer or two. Umm, first, have you not been listening? Communication, clarity - these are all things we've gone over before with you. You're losing money on people paying less than a half dollar by Paypal, and less than $1 on credit cards.

Not that we care anymore about your ledgers, but you've become so greedy that you're willing to lose money just to appear badass when it comes to collecting it. And that's what you're doing - you've become one of those badass, mofo companies who are an entity that has to fight against all those it serves in order to survive - threats of suspension, harsh wording, changed policies without notice - Etsy was supposed to be different. But you're not. You're the boyfriend who consoles someone after a harsh breakup by being sweet and wanting to talk and then a little down the line once she's comfortable and loyal starts demanding a sandwich and beer when you damn well please. What's she gonna do, leave you? YES and WE ARE, and by golly we're gonna warn others about your sleazy ways.

Stop fucking it up. Your customers are in rough times - just knock it the fuck off! Yes, collect what's due you, but plan it out, communicate it, and for the love of all that is handmade stick by your own policies.

Oh, and the phone number for people to call when, say their bills threaten to shut them down on Saturday night, should probably be installed soon. Many companies move due dates to avoid weekends for this very reason. Just a little FYI, Etsy *wink*

Quotable Quotes: Copy Rights

This was simply a fascinating trainwreck:

"Maybe there should be different drop downs for Etsy stores in addition to the handmade, supplies, and vintage:

My Idea and Only My Idea no one else has ever, ever thought of it in the whole wide world, ever!

My Idea, Patent Pending, try it and I will get you!

My Idea, Copyright or trademarked or patented! All info.
included in listing so there is no questions ever and you can't even think about it!

My Idea, so don't you steal it even though I have done none of the above

My Idea so don't even think about it just because!"

Heated Debate

Anytime a number of people get together, particularly when discussing topics that can make the blood boil and the bile rise, there are bound to be screaming matches, name calling, and foaming at the mouth. We here at EtsyBitch try to show restraint during these times and to restrain others from harming each other, but aren't always successful.

Hey, we're human. What can we say? Plus we're only like a week or two old and really, are we expected to actually do anything before we hit the 5 year mark? I mean come on, we're not a normal blog! Doing things in an established way is stuffy and so 80s! *ahem*

It is unfortunate that an online venue is so entwined in our lives that these reactions come naturally at the mention of another's name or when referring to a particular situation for illustration purposes. Though I can not speak for all the bitches, and am but one person myself (though a righteous one! oh yeah!!) I would like to say this:

Let's all try to be civil and behave ourselves. You're not on Etsy when you're here!

Which brings me to my bitch of the day - What the fuck is so special about a website that it makes us want to cut each other off at the legs, punch each other in the face, and spill blood with such venom? This is a constant thing in the Etsy forums. Whether it's the supply/vintage vs handmade wars, admin vs sellers, sellers vs buyers, seller vs seller, or what have you...there is a constant air of hatred and loathing pervading the 'community'.

Not much of a community if you ask me!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go spend the next few hours starting threads about the items I'm going to flag so I feel superior.

Edit: Someone pointed out to me that

"once sellers are treated with respect by Etsy, then maybe it'll cross over between sellers... and Etsy stepping up to the plate finally will create the TRUE community they have been trying to force on us since day one."

I felt that's worthy of being on the main post rather then relegated to comments.

Bullying, Stalking and General Asshattery

In this thread:

http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5650490&page=1

An Etsy member talks about being stalked and bullied on the forums. Apparently, she has reported it to Admin, and Admin has told said instigator to back the frack off. The bully doesn't and the OP is forced to report her again, and the cycle repeats itself, but there's no permanent solution.

Why isn't there a permanent solution?? Because Etsy condones said bad behavior by doing it to other people! Let's not forget the soul-less eyed admin who followed a prolific buyer around the internet, and the hot admin who convo'ed many sellers who posted things she did not agree with, and the top level admin who openly insulted another seller with a flash toy.

Then there's the countless number of sellers and buyers who have been harassed via the chat room and via convo by other members, and there are no repercussions. You see it happen all the time when there's a dissenting opinion on Etsy policy.

I think that Etsy secretly gets off on watching these things happen, because it's all an human experiment to them. We're like little rats in a maze, fighting over a piece of cheese. That's why they don't shut these people down, because they find it funny! Another fail at good customer service, Etsy!

PS- Matt just closed the thread. I sincerely hope that Matt takes care of the problem for the OP.