Time for a Reality Check, Etsy?

Or how about a check up from the neck up?

We’ve been laughing so hard about the details of the new Etsy Merchandising Plan (from the new Merchandising Desk) that we could barely read the long list of themes revealed in one of the most bizarre bloggies EVER posted in the Dorque.

And what were we thinking? Waiting with bated breath for a clue about what we are supposed to be producing in our artisan studios for Etsy to pick for a Front Page Promotion, we just didn’t expect we’d be force to make..............doodads for the Kentucky Derby!?!?!? Oh goodness, now that’s a new twist on "handmade", dontcha think? Horsehair, anyone? (It’s a very flexible medium!)

The whole list sounds like an outline for a 19th Century Programme for festivities at the Country Club, raise your pinkies, grab your teacup, and lift that (upper class) lip!

Aha! But we’re taking a break from our equestrian related thoughts to put our own EB spin on this amazing list of Etsy Themes for May that have nothing in the entire universe to do with handmade, the artisan, the handmade product, the seller, the handmade store, ...or HANDMADE!

MAY PROGRAMME FROM THE EB MERCHANDISING DESK (Take a number and sit down in the velvet covered lounge and wait your turn, please):

UPCOMING EB CANNOT-LIVE-WITHOUT-DATES IN MAY:
May 1 - Oops, we forgot what they call these holiday things in those other countries out there.

May 2 - Dress appropriately in Etsy Approved Apparel adorned with your can’t live without Etsy Accessories that nobody really wears in public and get ye to the nearest OTB to start betting!

May 3 - Another Obscure Holiday, but let’s buck the trend and go shopping at big box stores anyway. Something may actually be on sale!

May 4 - Hmmm. What can we think of that will make people spend money on all those things we keep picking for the Front Page, day after day after day?

May 5 - Tacos and cervesas for everyone, let’s rub shoulders with South of the Border!

May 8 - A military-sounding holiday would be good to throw in here, and some reference to another country too, any will do!

May 10 - Mother’s Day? Whaaaaaa? Ya know, we were just too busy at Etsy to even think about this important retail holiday, and it’s boring. ‘Nuf said.

May 13 - OK, let’s all go to the movies and forget about shopping!

May 25 - Heads Up, Etsy Sellers! Get ready to start making Etsy-Themed Products for June!

May 25 - Isn’t there some kind of international athletic event that has nothing to do with selling and buying handmade? Come ON, we gotta think of something!

What more can we say? Etsy, you’re paying someone to come up with themes that have no connection to selling handmade online. We really want to be a fly on the wall at your next "Theme Staff Meeting" at Gold Street--care to turn on your videocam and let us in so we can eyeroll along with the rest of you??? Checks payable to blankety blank, filled out for CASH ONLY please.

From the Bitches Auxiliary: Quit Your Day Job for Welfare

Just want to put in my $.02 about this Quit feature. I wish it were gone-- it's so depressing and misleading. The Quitter now is a woman who has sold 818 pieces-- and they are nice, by the way-- but by my estimated calculations, if her average sale price is $50, she has sold a little over $40,000 worth since Sept. 2007. That is gross, not net. How can someone quit their day job for a job that pays them much less than $20 grand a year and has zero benefits? People who take these profiles seriously will be setting their course for the poor house, and retarding them from truly being independant. She would qualify for social services with that income.

This comment was not composed carefully enough for publication, but it needs to be said again and again. Poor, simple, naive little girls should NOT be propagandized into buying the idea that they can support themselves this way. It's disingenuous for them to believe it, but so many young and inexperienced girls will believe it-- just at the time when they should be out making the decisions that will make them successful and able to pay their own bills. Cinderella much?

Well Aux member, we feel that your final comment was composed perfectly for publication. The sooner that young and/or naive Etsy sellers understand that the entire "Quit Your Day Job" series is a load of hot steaming horseshit, the better. Get real with your dreams people.

Quit Your Day Job: The Dorque gets it right for a change

Early this month, EtsyBitch posted an article by one of our readers pointing out the fallacies of the Dorque series on quitting your day job. Maybe (just maybe) someone at Etsy listened. For their latest in that series, instead of promoting someone living at home with their parents, subsisting on unemployment, or dealing with the fact that they were actually fired rather than quitting their day job, the Dorque has published one of their few practical articles for making that first scary step.

Nicole of Lillyella talks about the steps she took for starting her own business. One of the best aspects of this is her list of the steps she took before taking the "plunge":

1. I first figured out how much money I would need to make each week.
2. I also calculated how much I would need to put away for taxes and met with an attorney to ensure I was recording things properly from the start to avoid extra work later.
3. I had already formed an LLC when I began thinking about my graphic design business, and then a couple of years ago I added a DBA name, Lillyella, when I began designing jewelry and doing shows, so that was taken care of.
4. My biggest concern was health insurance, so I spent a good amount of time researching providers and small business organizations in my city, and then getting myself set up with good coverage.
5. I also decided to stock up on as many supplies as I could while I still had a steady paycheck coming in and I also rearranged my workspace.
6. I went through my monthly expenses and figured out where I could save some money. I called my cable company and just told them I felt my bill was too high, and they lowered it! I was on a roll after that: who else can I call to save money?! I called my car insurance company to tell them I would only be driving about 10 miles a week, as opposed to the 300 miles per week I was driving before, and my premium went down by about $75. That's a great tip that some people may overlook.
7. But lastly — and this is by far the most important — I enjoyed eating enchiladas at our favorite Mexican restaurant a few last times. I figured that the luxury of eating out would be one of the first things to go!

Lillyella's realistic assesment of what she would need for her business, her goals, and the things she would have to do without in order for her to make it work are absolutely refreshing when compared to some of the previous Dorque articles in this series.

Those Pesky Laws - Don't Let Them Get in Your Way!

So…once again, Etsy manages to take a perfectly benign (if, in our opinion, generally useless) Storque feature and turn it into a nightmarish example of Etsy’s complete lack of professionalism (and, apparently, lack of a clue, as well).

Of what do we speak? The latest installment in the Quit Your Day Job series featuring Etsy sellers, highlighting the work of GeekCentralStation, seems to have completely missed the fact that this shop is selling figures based on, and with names identical to, some trademarked characters.

Here’s a little news flash: DC Comics usually doesn’t like people to sell things with the Superman “S” blazing on the front without their permission. The Superman shield is a registered trademark. Yoda is registered, too, and toys and plush figures that look like Yoda are supposed to be licensed. How do I know this? Well, I took the handy advice provided by Etsy attorney SarahSays in her Storque series on Legal Info for Artists and searched the U.S. Patent office site for trademarks related to some of these characters. Hello? Etsy? Do you EVER listen to your own advice?

Let us be clear – the Bitches don’t feel any great sympathy for DC Comics or Lucasfilms. We certainly don’t care if someone makes a little bit of money using these characters, and we’re not interested in defending Big Corporate America against an indie artisan. But the laws are out there, and questions about copyrights and trademarks come up on Etsy all the time. How many times do you see a newbie post something like, “Can I sell my cute Spongebob bibs here?”

Let us also be clear – we know that it’s not Etsy’s job, as a venue, to enforce this stuff. Lucasfilms, or whichever corporation, has to defend its rights in these situations. And most of the time, small businesses fly well under the corporate radar. But for God’s sake, Etsy, don’t act like the laws don’t exist! Way to further reinforce the widespread idea that it's perfectly all right to profit from the use of trademarked images. Not only that, but by featuring this seller, Etsy may very well have screwed her over by making her a bit more public and getting the shop out there where Lucas Licensing can see it.

And let us FURTHER be clear – we like this seller’s work. Her little figures are really cute, and the work appears to be pretty nice. If she’s selling successfully, it sure seems justified. We don’t want to bash Sammi in any way. We just can’t believe that no one at Etsy noticed that the characters were a bit, um, familiar.

As a few people pointed out in comments on the Storque article – did anyone at Etsy even CONSIDER this before publishing the feature? Maybe this seller did all her homework and talked to a lawyer. Maybe she even got permission from these companies to use the characters’ names and images. But, sadly, we doubt it. Whatever – there’s no mention of that anywhere in the shop or the article. Here was the perfect chance for Etsy to teach the few dozen people who still read the Storque what to do, or what NOT to do, when thinking about trademarked characters. This article could have given us some really useful information. All we get from Etsy is an afterthought by SarahSays at the end of the comments, after other people raised questions - and she just told them to mind their own business, reminding us we "don't have all the details." Too little, too late. This is a real problem, and by acting like it's some secret we don't deserve to know about, Sarah misses the point.

This is yet another example of cluelessness, laziness, and simple failure to make sure the staff knows the company’s rules. It’s the same reason we see mass produced goods on the front page, featured in Storque treasuries, and gracing the Gift Guides, time and time again. Admin would have to be actually PAYING ATTENTION to make sure that didn't happen.

Etsy, once again, the hammock has collapsed out from under you.