Ladies Auxiliary: Etsy Fail Video Edition

This was sent in to us to present to all of you by a new Auxiliary named "Abby" who wanted to break down the last post's video in detail:

From The Auxiliary Guild: So, here is the thing

Etsy refuses to take care of itself under any circumstance.

Advertising: This is obvious. They refuse to advertise for no known reason. They claim that it's 'better' for grassroots advertising. I don't understand this at all. Ebay had commercials until they decided that EVERYONE knew so they didn't have to shout it out anymore. Amazon did the same thing. Clearly commercials bring customers. And I kind of think that even if they DID buy a commercial slot, instead of it being informative and drawing people in it'd be some crappy handmade commercial that shows a dancing doll or people wrapped in cowls holding a mustache and an owl and says HANDMADE ETSY! And nobody would know what the hell it was. Nobody would ever go check. We need an actual informative clear commercial. Otherwise, people aren't going to give a crap.

Webdesign: This is such a joke. There are complaints that are years old. Things that people are frusterated with indefinately. Honestly, I think that they have to redo the entire website. I think they can't fix it at this point because they didn't start in some sort of way to allow for this kind of expansion. I don't actually think it's that big of a deal. They need to hire a team of people to start from scratch and completely rebuild. And hell, I think everyone would be okay with that. They'd say, "we're only updating emergency situations on Etsy (such as when paypal money goes to the wrong person- oh wait, did they even bother to fix that?) And in 1.5 years we'll have a new and improved site up."

And if they can't move shops over (because well, they can't figure out a way to do it without using the exact same broken system) then they should just say that, "we screwed up horribly, this switch is going to be disasterous. So, to compensate for that, no listing fees for 2 months so you can move your items over by hand, and yes, we agree it sucks and we wish we had a better solution" Wow. People wouldn't love it, but I bet they'd survive.

But no no no, instead they hire (are they even getting paid?) a college class to practice on Etsy. Great. I'm sure they are really good at programming long term solutions. I bet they have all that experiance and stuff. Yeah. What a joke. It's grassroots programming. "Just call your friends and send in some snippets of programming and we'll pick what we love!" DOES THAT SOUND SMART? How can these people possibly be qualified to work on a system this big? How can they possibly be capable of planning long term, what if Etsy grows BIGGER? Etsy never ever planned for this kind of expansion, and it's running into problems because the expansion is overwhelming and breaking the system. Etsy cannot compete with other sites because other sites have planned ahead and incorperated features as functionally as possible.

Etsy did not and does not plan ahead, and they refuse to increase functionality and increase advertisements. Basically at this point, I think the first site to get commercials will be the front runner. Artfire has been nipping on the heels of Etsy, and if they pump up the advertising, then Etsy will lose what little upperhand it had.

Etsy is only on top because it was first. It's not smartest or prettiest or best. It was just first. And it's luck is starting to run out. And so are customers

From the Auxiliary Guild: "What happens when a CEO can’t let go"

This is a GREAT column we got sent today, specially written for EB by someone who knows what they are talking about, but who wishes to remain anonymous:

What happens when a CEO can’t let go
By "Penelope"

This December I nearly lost my breath when I found out that Rob was returning as the CEO of Etsy. Under the guise of moving forward, Etsy took a huge step backward. The return of the original founder carries a threat with it, and I’ve seen it happen too many times before. When the creator of an entity (be it a company or a publication or whatever) cannot separate him/herself from the creation, the over-identification with what has been created turns into a vortex that threatens the ability of the endeavor to stay afloat.

Take RealNetworks for example: The creator was so attached to his original idea that he lost incredible opportunities and allowed his entire project to go under. Recently, the board of a Bay Area non-profit demoted their Founder to Creative Director after he led the company within an inch of bankruptcy. He loved the mission of his project so much that he never actually paid attention to how an office should be run, how finances should be managed, how a non-profit should grow into adolescence. (sound familiar?)

Now with Rob back, Etsy is no different. A poster in the comments on EtsyBitch once put it this way, “I had no idea Etsy was in its third year of start up status.” Now we are about to start year six. If Rob cannot find a way to divorce himself from his early living-room project version of Etsy, this endeavor will be threatened with extinction. I’ve been giving a lot of thought about these ideas, and I’ve waited a bit to share them with the EtsyBitch community. Now that I’ve seen Rob play his hand with Etsy over the last few months, I’m ready to provide a diagnosis and a prognosis for the future. Here goes.

Diagnosis of the current situation:

My comments here are twofold. First, the current structure of Etsy, as many seasoned sellers know, is absolutely broken. Second, the current Google situation may have a deeper root than I’ve heard anyone mention before.

First: Etsy was created without much consideration for scaling (going from a few hundred sellers to making it global one day). The infrastructure that was put into place in the early stages of the company is mainly still in place. Buyers still need to set up member accounts to purchase, purchasing isn’t streamlined with marking items as sold . . . the list goes on and on.

I have a hunch that the base software they’ve written makes it impossible for them to give sellers the options we’ve been needing for the last couple years. Because of the inertia connected to this structure, they will not find a way to migrate the current sellers accounts fairly to a totally new structure that can support the demands sellers have been making. Instead Etsy will continue to put (or claim to put!) band-aids on a system that is hemorrhaging (both money, in terms of buyers not supporting sellers with sales, and sellers migrating to new communities/venues such as Big Cartel and ArtFire).

To name one example, the need to make buyers become “members” of the community stems from a fundamental reliance on a “forums” model. Not every buyer wants to be a part of this community, and those who do not wish to, are forced into a community they might not want to be a part of. But there is no other way to buy from Etsy. One of Rob’s many colleges had a student-run forum using the vBulletin platform. When you are in college, being a part of forums is fun. But customers aren’t students, and when you have a business to run, not every customer wants to join the club. Sometimes they just want their hand-felted drink cozy, and that’s it. Times change, markets change. Etsy needs to update this aspect of their business. But this is what happens when CEOs can’t let go. It’s impossible to see how to, when the creation is your baby.

(As an aside, they also have no incentives for fixing the system because they are making WILD profits from its brokenness. Sellers who constantly relist and engage in rabid competition for being found on the site are driving the site’s continued profits. Once we stop renewing like crazy, Etsy will have to sit and think about how it can actually make the site profitable. The only way Maria made the site profitable was to encourage more sellers to join and make them think that everyone can “Quit Your Day Job” if you sell on Etsy (link). Once new markets dry up, that bull-run will cease.

In line with this is Etsy’s reliance on sellers to do its marketing. When you are a broke start-up in 2005 of course you cannot buy ad-space. But now that they are making money, they can at least do themselves the favor of stepping above the animosity that has developed between Etsy central and its seller base and reach out as an entity to potential buyers. If the buyers don’t know how to get to the mall, how the hell are they going to shop there?)

Second: For the last month (or more) Etsy sellers have been livid about their disappearance from Google searches. For many sellers both their shops and listings have been obliterated from Google search and Google shopping. Etsy didn’t comment much beyond accusing Google of changing something on their end (see here and countless forum threads in “site help” in Etsy’s forums for more).

Lets get over the he said/they said and think about this issue on a higher level: Rob’s outside pet-project “Dopple” was rolled out to the Etsy community without announcement around the same time that the Google issue started to affect members of the selling community. Rob’s name choice is pretty transparent (as if they wouldn’t notice, Rob):

Dopple
Google

The problems might be as simple as this: If Dopple aimed to compete with Google (using Etsy as a guinea pig!), and if Google got wind of Rob’s ambition to out-google Google, the search giant might have made an internal decision to starve Etsy to death slowly by changing how Etsy (i.e., its sellers!) appear in Google searches. And hell would freeze over before anyone in the Etsy offices would want anyone else to know that. So all of a sudden, Etsy sellers (the people who really make money for Etsy) are being subject to a battle between Google and Rob’s Dopple ambitions. This is pure conjecture, but give it a moment’s consideration. It seems all too likely. And given Etsy’s past track record, their silence speaks volumes.

Prognosis for the future:
What Etsy doesn’t get is that the sellers will not be upset if Etsy takes its community seriously enough to explain this deeper issue of structural inertia and how they are going to fix it. Because that is what needs fixing, even if it means they have to stop gorging off the pennies of thousands of sellers’ renewal fees. There is a better way. If Rob can muster the bravery to have this real conversation, the community will embrace the depth of the communication and will most likely support Etsy’s conversion to a more seller-friendly and buyer-friendly format. If the system can be updated to work, they won’t need to continue perpetuating its brokenness.

I get the sense that although Rob WANTS to be able to have a flourishing and open community of makers (see recent WSJ article) until he trusts them with genuine honesty about what Etsy’s current challenges are, Etsy as it is will continue to deteriorate. Sellers are all too aware of these challenges, so when we hear Rob gloss over non-essential issues like site-width, it is infuriating. The problems are so much deeper than how wide the site is. But Rob started out designing the look of Etsy, so that will always remain his pet concern. Has he ever tried to use his own invention to make money like we do? I doubt it. If he did, he’d maybe finally get what we’re all upset about.

We’re ready for a real conversation about how Etsy can lead the pack that it created five years ago. We need to know how Etsy will molt its child skin and become the only place anyone would even think about going to buy handmade crafts. (Notice that I said buy them, not sell them.) Until this conversation happens, and until this progress is made, Etsy will continue to need to feed off of opening new markets to gullible sellers who aren’t aware of Etsy’s internal problems. Once those markets dry up, so will the company.

This is what happens when CEOs can’t let go.

From the Auxiliary Guild: Google and Etsy - Truth Stinks

We got this today in the digital mailbag and decided we had to share it.

For weeks now, Etsians have been begging for answers as to why their sales, views and Google Analytics have shown a sharp drop, as if they suddenly hit a brick wall. For weeks we've been given no answers, references to old Storque articles and a post or two from Forum Moderators that they will 'pass the info on' to the tech guys.

Today, Rokali announces that and I'll quote his words:

Rokali says:
(This is posted in another thread elsewhere in these forums. I'm reposting it here because it's work reading. We still need to do some more research, but it's a solid hypothesis.)

Statement of Facts

1. We didn't change anything on our end mid-March that would affect SEO.
2. Google made a massive infrastructure change, codenamed Caffeine.

He then goes on to say:

"As it turns out, we began this work about three months ago, as part of a more general refactoring of our own listings infrastructure."

Announcement here

So I did a little research into 'Google Caffeine'. It seems as far back as August 09' there was information regarding this change to Google. And in January, a beta test was released and quite a few people involved in SEO work got a chance to try it out. I"m certain that those who are well versed in SEO and those whose job it is to keep websites Google compliant have been following these changes closely. I am linking one resource where there is a chronological listing of topics related to this, but just Google 'google caffeine' and you can find much more about this here.

Sellers are falling all over themselves to thank Etsy for this update. Finally, they have spoken.

But take a moment and ponder. Etsy has known about this since last year. The Google Caffeine Beta was released in January 2010. Coincidentally, Etsy started 'generally refactoring' their own listing infrastructure that same month. Really? Just on their own with no regard to any upcoming Google changes? How stupid do you think we are? I get this from the fact that they are already 3 months into this estimated 4 month change.

Count back 3 months.......hmmmmm......

Rokali said they didn't make any SEO changes "mid-March", ok, what about since January? I'm imagining that it might take a little time for those changes to filter down and for some sellers to start noticing something is different.

Everyone at Etsy acts like this is a surprise and 'gosh, it must be that newfangled Google Caffeine that's doing it!' Like they didn't know all along. They strung sellers along for 3 months all the while knowing exactly what was going on and failed to tell the sellers.

What a bunch of horseshit. And people are gobbling it up by the shovelful. Etsy sellers better wake up to the fact that Etsy cannot be trusted, they will lie, skirt the truth and leave you hanging in the wind. What's not to love?

We can't say it better than that! What Etsy says can usually be easily found to be full of shit without much work, or even much reasoning. They think we're all stupid.

From the Auxiliary Guild: Olympic Etsy Fail

This just came in from the Mailbag, too good to not share:

A month or so ago, I sent a note to Community@etsy.com and, of course, it was ignored.
I asked if they realized that anything with Olympics, or Vancouver 2010, or the rings, etc. on it is in serious violation of their copyright/branding regulations. I sent this link and told them that they shouldn't promote people that misuse the Olympics as a way to sell more stuff.

I researched it last winter, thinking that it would be cool to design a line in time to promote it for the Olympics. Reading how strict they are, I gave up on it. Not only did Etsy blow me off, but now they are promoting it in the Voter, encouraging more people to violate it. Sure I'd like to promote my own hats, scarves, etc. but I just can't believe that they're pretending not to know about it and are, instead, encouraging it.

Bitches' Auxiliary - New Hires

Yep, Etsy has added yet another engineer to their force. Ever wonder what the resumes look like for these creme de la creme Chad chooses? Unfortunately, they laid it out in the Dorque announcement.

This email we received just about sums it up!

Etsy hires a friend who has no e-commerce background. But what the heck, he plays a mean banjo and knows a lot about social networking. And isn't that what it's all about? Just folks, hangin, talking, pickin git fiddles and watchin the little uns roll around on the floor? Forget making the site about sales. "It's not about the money man, it's about the people. Anyone who is in business for the money is just an evil breadhead. Pass me that joint, brah."

From the Bitches' Auxiliary - Credit where credit isn't due

Thought you might find this post in the Storque interesting.

What's particularly bad about this, aside from the immature self-promoting, is the way that Etsy is trying to take credit for the things that its sellers are doing - it's "Etsy" who's going green, not the individual sellers, "Etsy" who makes the cool items, not the sellers, and so on.

Really, Etsy is no more "green" than eBay - some of the people who use Etsy do practice sustainable practices, but really - it's an international venue that works by having people selling - and shipping - small items one at a time. The carbon footprint, collectively, for the shipping alone must be astonishing. And it's not like all - or even a majority - of sellers follow sustainable practices; I'm sure there are any number of them using fabrics imported from China, petroleum products, and the like. Gluing together a bunch of cheap crud into a decorative widget is a waste of resources rather than a saving of them.

Hell, promoting consumption of frivolous and trendy consumer goods - let alone poorly made ones - is about as far from green as you can get. Being truly green is about encouraging people to NOT buy things, and yet, what is Etsy about? Buying things. Silly things. Unnecessary, cheap things.

Etsy, collectively, is NOT green; it's taking credit for the sellers who are - who it doesn't even bother to credit in its post - and that leaves a really bad taste in my mouth.

Morons 1, 2, and 3 - From the Bitches' Auxillary

We received an Aux email that describes perfectly how inefficient the Etsy admins really are. Not only do they not know what the hell they're talking about in general, but they also don't even talk to each other or properly delegate tasks. The lawyer should handle copyright or patent issues from the start, not support, and billing should be aware of support issues to handle them accordingly.

Below is the story, which has been edited to remove specifics and avoid potential fallout for the already Etsy-pained seller.

Why the admins at etsy are morons!

I got a convo from a girl that claims she has a patent for selling the same items that I do on etsy. When I got the convo, I thought "let me do some research before I respond to her." I got an appt. with a lawyer for 2 days later. He told me that this girl has a design patent and not a utility patent. That means she has a patent for something that anyone can get online. Basically, her patent is invalid.

That night I get home, and I get an email from Emily Bidwell that they are removing my items from the site. This girl is claiming infringement and they are taking
it off of their site based upon their COPYRIGHT and IP Policy. The email
references http://www.etsy.com/copyright_policy.php.
If we go to that page, it clearly states “Etsy, Inc.(“Etsy”) has adopted the following general policy toward copyright and intellectual property infringement in accordance with the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (http://lcweb.loc.gov/copyright/legislation/dmca.pdf)."

Now, I am not a lawyer, but my items are not digital in nature AND this is a patent suit. Furthermore, the email states that if I feel that this claim is unfounded or a mistake that I refer to “Etsy’s Copyright and Intellectual Property Policy (http://www.etsy.com/copyright_policy.php) and provide Etsy with the four pieces of information required for a DMCA 'counter notice.'" Again, this is not a DMCA issue. Not only that but I had purchased TWO showcases for two days later and three days after that. I asked for my money back because they have taken down my listings. I get a reply from Jason stating that “Showcase spots are nonrefundable. We can remove you from these Showcases if you don’t have any items to add to your Showcase lineups.” Gee, thanks. That is really sweet of you JASON! How convenient that you take down my listing RIGHT before my showcases.

Anyway, before I decided to fill out the DMCA “counter notice,” I decided to speak to my lawyer. Of course my lawyer thought their lawyers are morons if they are citing DMCA for taking my listing off. I want my listing back up so I decide to fill out the counter notice. I get an email from Sarah Feingold that she received my counter notice but she “apologizes for any confusion as to our policies, however this does not appear to be a Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) claim.” DUH! Then she further writes, “As you know, Etsy is a venue. Etsy is not a judge or jury or an arbitrator and we are not equipped to make a determination as to the validity of a United States design patent.” Well if you are not Sarah, then WHY DID YOU TAKE MY LISTING OFF??? If you cannot make any judgment, then put my listings back up on ETSY!

Dumbest people I have ever met!

We agree.

From the Bitches Auxiliary: Quit Your Day Job for Welfare

Just want to put in my $.02 about this Quit feature. I wish it were gone-- it's so depressing and misleading. The Quitter now is a woman who has sold 818 pieces-- and they are nice, by the way-- but by my estimated calculations, if her average sale price is $50, she has sold a little over $40,000 worth since Sept. 2007. That is gross, not net. How can someone quit their day job for a job that pays them much less than $20 grand a year and has zero benefits? People who take these profiles seriously will be setting their course for the poor house, and retarding them from truly being independant. She would qualify for social services with that income.

This comment was not composed carefully enough for publication, but it needs to be said again and again. Poor, simple, naive little girls should NOT be propagandized into buying the idea that they can support themselves this way. It's disingenuous for them to believe it, but so many young and inexperienced girls will believe it-- just at the time when they should be out making the decisions that will make them successful and able to pay their own bills. Cinderella much?

Well Aux member, we feel that your final comment was composed perfectly for publication. The sooner that young and/or naive Etsy sellers understand that the entire "Quit Your Day Job" series is a load of hot steaming horseshit, the better. Get real with your dreams people.

More from the Muted

We got this today from Quirke and since we were given permission and the story is so fucking insane, we present it in its entirety.

If you ever doubted the running theory you can say anything on the Etsy Forums as long as you don't question admin's intelligence, motivations or "ah-thoritay"... this letter is for you. You have to supply your own cupcakes to maintain your sugar induced blissfull ignorance. We'd ask Etsy to respond but fuck them. We're not that kind of blog and their actions speak louder than words so who gives a crap what they say anyway.

Hello Bitches

I am writing to you to let you and your readers know what can happen to them if they openly criticize the failures of Etsy admin.

I have been muted for 7 days for this thread.

Three different admins – Rob W, Lauren, and Mary – weighed in on that thread but did not close it. In the end it was closed due to an argument between two people that had nothing to do with either myself or the issue at hand.

While that thread was still open, I received a convo from Stellaloella/Lauren. She told me she participated in the review process for featured items and had let the Content Team know about the item I saw that prompted me to start the thread. She also asked for other examples of rule-breaking that had been promoted. I sent her five examples.

On Friday I became aware that admin had featured both treasuries of a double-dipping curator on the very same day. I started a thread about it here, which was swiftly locked.

The next day I received the notification that I was muted for 7 days. They felt the need to hammer this home so much that they sent it to five different email addresses of mine, including one that is not attached to any Etsy account.

The given reason was "calling out". If it was calling out, why did that thread stay open, with three different admin posting in response, and only closed when two people became disrespectful to each other?

I was calling out admin. Sellers and buyers call each other out every day on the forums without being muted in response. People are abusive to each other every day without being punished. Apparently you can even get away with calling Matt a c*nt without repercussion. But point out admin is either willfully ignoring their own rules or too blind to notice when they're being broken, and you will get a week's detention. Reply to an admin who disingenuously asks for "examples", and get gagged.

Rule-breakers don't get punished, but people who point out rule-breakers do.

Incidentally, the item which prompted me to start that thread is still there, still breaking the rules.

You have my permission to publish this in its entirety.

God knows Quirke is no virgin to mystery Etsy mutings, but regardless - this is a completely insane banning.

For shame Esty, you should be embracing those who point out your mistakes, not punish them like petulant children when it's your site they are trying to improve. Maybe if you did your jobs you'd have less to panic about covering them up.

More from the Auxiliary Guild

From one of our Readers recently:

As much as I hate the Dorque, I will take a look if something catches my eye on the front page scroll. Yes, there have been some helpful articles, but most of those are written by sellers, not staff. My personal feeling is that it is less about being helpful and informative and more about dispensing Kool Aid and helping out friends. I think it’s good idea gone completely wrong and should be abolished. Still I was pretty shocked to see them rehashing their old features under the guise “Best of Storque” That’s an oxymoron if I ever heard one. Any way part of tme thinks it may signal the end of the Storque , which I would cheer, another part of me thinks they have run out of ideas and friends to promote and are too lazy to look for more. It gives me one more thing to bitch about.

I’m Odd man out (even if I am a woman)

From the Bitches Auxiliary: Don't Quit Your Day Job!

Etsy likes to try and sell us a dream: quit your day job and make a living selling your craft on Etsy. But for many of us living with our parents while collecting unemployment doesn't exactly qualify as making a living. One of our readers wrote a terrific counterpoint to the typical Etsy QYDJ interview, enjoy.

In rebuttle to Etsy’s “Quit Your Day Job” Series, I felt the need to offer the other side. The story of a girl who busts her ass every day to make a few sales, learned the hard way to diversify venues, and treaded water until she made it “to the black”. I’m not “living my dreams”. I haven’t quit my job. But I’m growing my business, both on and off Etsy.

What more do you want from a girl, some pliers and some beads?



When you first started selling on Etsy did you have dreams or goals of eventually quitting your day job?

I never had the delusion that ONE Venue would be the bulk of my business income. It’s just NOT possible, nor is it intelligent, to expect a single venue to account for all of your income.
I sell through consignment at local retail stores, and I wholesale to larger stores with more buying power. I sell directly to customers, and I vend at the local Flea Market circuit during the summer. Direct Sales and Etsy accounts for the majority of my income in the winter months, when the town I live in basically “dries up”. To make the amount on Etsy that I would make though the other venues requires much more work and expense, unfortunately.


How long were you selling on Etsy before taking the plunge into selling full time?

I don’t think I will EVER sell full time. I’m too cautious of a person. I need a back up plan, and a back up to THAT back up plan.
I work as a waitress part time. I love waitressing. It allows me to observe the public and understand the spending habits of the local economy. If folks are going out to eat more, you can bet they’re also be spending more in other places, and I increase my stock at the local stores that sell my work. Art and Crafts are NOT essentials; they’re what I refer to as “up-sells”, like appetizers and desserts in a restaurant. As a waitress, it’s my job to convince the customer that they want those onion rings and that piece of pie.


What was the deciding factor resulting in your pursuing Etsy as your full time job?

I used to work at 2 different restaurants for a total of 40-50 hours per week. One was, and still is, a great job, and the other, a soul sucking corporate nightmare. However, I am thankful to the soul sucking job, I made some wonderful gal pals there, who were the very reason I began exploring jewelry making again.
Had my coworkers not bought my first years worth of earrings and helped me cover my shift to do a few craft shows, I wouldn’t have gotten the guts to quit that corporate nightmare and really focus on taking that hobby of “makin’ some earrings to use up some beads” to the next level.


Did you do anything to prepare ahead of time before taking the plunge?

I took it so very slow. I already had an eBay account, so I peppered my auctions with a few of my handmade items.
When I realized this could actually become something profitable, I spoke with my accountant and he helped me set up my business.


What are the most effective ways you have promoted and marketed your Etsy business? What's your best marketing tip?

Hell, I don’t know! Without some real stats, I have no idea what brings traffic to my Etsy shop. In the other venues, I think business cards are the best. I don’t have many “nice” cards, I use mostly VistaPrint Template cheapies. But I go though up to 1000 of them a month, and I know most of them end up in the trash can, so I won’t spend a fortune on them.
Word of mouth, business cards, and fliers are my best marketing plans. Some call it Guerilla marketing. I prefer thinking of it as simple business fiscal responsibility. The less I spend on ads and marketing, the more I can spend on beads and wire.
[Also] save some money, Take some business classes or read some good business books, get a legitimate business license, get some insurance, and take the plunge. Stay the hell away from credit cards and loans if you can help it. Don’t allow your “dream” to overshadow the reality of a situation. If you’re hemorrhaging money and not bringing anything in, quit doing whatever the hell you’re doing and get your head above water again.


Would you walk us through what a typical workday might entail being your own boss?

I get up everyday at 4:30. I feed the cats and start up one of the computers I do my best to do all the things listed here http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5321194
If I’m home for the day, I check Etsy for renewal dates, and keep what seems to be “fresh” still in my shop by renewing. If it’s gone “stale” I remove it from Etsy rotation and put it into “stock” “consignment” or “show” inventory.
I like to visit the etc section of Etsy forum for stress relief, and now, the EtsyBitch forum. I usually keep it open all day if I don’t have any orders to make.
I usually have SOMETHING to mail each day, be it a direct sale, an Etsy order, or a trade, so I go to town after 10AM. I check the mail, drop my packages in the drop box, and if there’s a place to park, I check on my retail consignment location every week or so.
Then I stop at the Library, thrift shop and farmers stand. You never know what you’ll find.
If the mood strikes me, I make some things after I get home. Lots of times I find vintage costume jewelry to dismantle at the thrift, or a book on a technique I want to try at the library. It sparks my creativity to “play” with things. Some days I don’t feel like playing. I don’t sweat it, because other days, I make 20 pieces, which makes up for a few “dry spells”


What do you enjoy most about not having a day job? Is there anything you miss?

Like I said, I doubt I will ever quit my part time job. The biggest reason is taxes. Waitresses get very small paychecks as it is, since we make just a couple of dollars an hour. I have my employer take extra withholding out of my paycheck, since I don’t “depend” on it.
What this does it gives me a surplus of income tax paid come tax time, so rather than paying in on my business income come April, the WORST time for both waitresses and craft sales, I have a zero balance, or sometimes, even a small refund.
I do enjoy working 30 hours a week rather than 40 or 50. I feel much less emotional and physical stress, but it’s hard to be more dependent on yourself for income. When my work hours get cut back to 15 or 18 hours a week, I start obsessively checking my voice mail and e-mail hoping for orders to fill in the gaps. Thank goodness I learned (the hard way) that extra money should be stashed away for the leaner times.


How's it going so far? Are you supporting yourself?

Well, the business is no longer dependent on my personal income, which it was when it began. I’ve yet to take an owners draw, but the business still “owes” from my personal savings to get started.
I might take an owner’s draw or two if things get really lean work wise and sales are good, but we’ll see what happens. I like the idea of the business and personal money being separate, but of course the goal is for the business to support me personally.


What goals do you wish to accomplish in the coming year for your Etsy business?

I hope by next summer to have my [startup monedy] back into my personal savings. I’d like to have some more weekly shows on my summer lineup.
I’d like to make some wholesale contacts in those cities based on some leads I’ve been given.
My husband and I plan to purchase my mothers house, which is zoned commercial/residential. The House has the perfect studio space in the basement, as well as a great space for a small retail shop, which is my ultimate goal, to have a retail store of my own.
I don’t want to “get rich” doing this. I want to get by, pay my bills on time, and keep out of debt. That, to me is success; Living comfortably doing something you enjoy more often than something you hate. For most people their job is how they pay for doing the things they love. I’d like to make the “job” time as minimal as I can, and the “doing the things I love” at maximum.


Is there anything else you'd like to share?

This business started without Etsy, and though it has given me an “easy” online venue, it will probably never be primarily Etsy. I adore the friends I’ve made on Etsy, and by watching the, for lack of better words, failures and mistakes of others, I’ve learned what NOT to do.
Etsy grew almost too fast, the founders didn’t seem to have a plan for the “what ifs”. I have a plan for the what ifs, the whens, and then some, plus, a backup plan for all those plans. It makes me feel safe.
If it all falls apart, there’s always a restaurant in need of a good waitress.

From the Bitches Auxiliary: The Sexiness of Bonnie and Clyde

TEN THINGS SEXIER THAN DRIVING CROSS COUNTRY WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND ON A MURDER SPREE AND DYING IN A HAIL OF BULLETS

1. Strawberries dipped in chocolate

2. Boy shorts

3. Driving to Ikea with your boyfriend

4. Assembling the HURJIT dining set

5. Barry White's "Let's Get it On"

6. Ping Pong balls

7. A moonlit stroll along the beach

8. That weird no-man's land where Burton Way, San Vicente and La Cienega Boulevard all come together

9. Christian Bale in The Dark Night

10. Christian Bale in The Machinist

For Shame: Updated

Storque article

CCCOE Team Thread

To buy raffle tickets (Drawing is tomorrow Aug 9th)

Matt posted the following in the comments section for the Dorque article (yes I know it's called Storque - but Dorque just feels so much more accurate).

In recognition of a worthy cause, Etsy today donated $250 directly to the New Directions charity (http://www.ndvets.com). The SoCal Bench Project Etsy Team is holding an event this weekend to support veterans through this organization.

Etsy previously announced that the SoCal Bench Project Etsy team would receive a $200 grant to help offset the printing costs associated with this event. The Grant was not ultimately funded because deadlines were missed. We apologize for the poor timing of these announcements.

Etsy Grants is a new program designed to help Etsy Teams hold events and promote their shops and Etsy. It’s important that Etsy diligently adhere to the rules and deadlines associated with the Grants Program so that we can be responsible stewards of our funds and so that we can offer monies in a timely way.

We understand that our communication around this specific Grant could have been better. And, while we remain committed to enforcing the rules and deadlines associated with the Grants Program, we don’t want the New Directions charity to miss out on this opportunity to positively interact with Etsy sellers and Etsy.

To avoid this type of confusion in the future, Team Grant winners will now be announced after the Grant funds have been submitted to the Team.

Thank you.

Word is donations and raffle tickets are flying in after the news of this debauchle broke, and many of the 'Bitches' have made personal donations as have many of our readers as well other Etsy folk to the point they are "overwhelmed" by the response and processing. That is fantastic!

Being that EB Never misses a chance to make Etsy look as bad as they truly are we've also donated (as a group) the amount of $50.00 to the team itself to try to help cover the intital costs they originally applied for. Use it in good health folks - from us to you.

For Shame!

We here at EB are in absolute shock.

We knew Etsy could stoop low, but they have hit a new level of shame. One of last month's team grant winners, who was relying on the money to cover costs of a charitable event in California for one of the largest street teams, is not receiving the money. Why? We can't figure it out.

One of the organizers posted about it on her blog:

We applied for an Etsy grant and were awarded a team grant in July by Etsy Teams. We had to write up a grant proposal and submit it by July 15th. After being awarded the grant we were told that therewere two deadlines, one on July 24th for a printers proof and the other on July 31st where we were to submit receipts. Both of these tasks were completed in a timely manner.

Yesterday, just three days before The SoCal Bench Project Artisan Fair I received an email from Etsy Teams saying that they had emailed us last week saying that they were not going to give us a grant; claiming that we had not sent our proofs in on time and that they were a few days late. Silly, we had our event postcards printed a month before we even applied for the grant; it took me all of two seconds to forward them a jpg of our postcards. I was speechless for a few minutes before the anger sunk in.

First of all, everything was sent in when it was supposed to be. Secondly, we never heard any confirmation from Etsy that they received our information. No communication from them at all. Etsy's regular modus operandi. Etsy Teams said, "... Because we give out several grants each month and need to have them wrapped up before the following month's grants are awarded, we must stick strictly to the scheduled deadlines." When has Etsy EVER followed even their own guidelines. They do whatever they want so that it fits their needs. Hell, they don't even adhere to their own rules and guidelines.

Street teams have been the heart of Etsy's marketing. They are the grassroots underbelly that keeps that beast moving. And they do this bullshit to them?! I thought it was bad when they said street teams couldn't use the Etsy name, the well crafted Etsy banners were not being allowed to be used, and that they started the team grant program rather than supporting the teams as they had previously by helping with fairs, shows, fliers, etc., but this takes the frickin' cupcake.

From the Auxiliary: Marketing Etsy Style

Now you and I know a good a bit about marketing just from being aware of the world around us. We know stores carry goods for the upcoming season, not for the season that is ending. We also understand why; people generally like to buy goods that they soon will need, not goods they will need eventually and have to store for awhile.

But Etsy is smarter than that. That is why they will be starting the "Back to School" feature after most students are actually back in school. I am sure that there will be millions of people out there who after their first few days in school will say, "I hate this Walmart junk, it's destroying my soul," come to Etsy, see the "Back to School" promotion, and start shopping. It is much more likely than people coming to Etsy before school starts and going shopping for school related items. Maybe. Not.

Will they start the Halloween promotions in late October? Will Winter Holiday features come in mid-December? Do they know shipping takes time too, so they need to plan that much more ahead? Do we have to send them a calendar with dates circled for when they should start these seasonal promotions? And most importantly, will my shop be mysteriously closed if I do send them a calendar with... umm, strongly worded directions?

The author of the above is right. Etsy is yet again dropping the marketing clue ball.

Several years ago Food Network (finally!) caught on that showing programs packed with delectable Christmas recipes would be more useful in November when you are beginning to think what you want to serve on the big day. Every year I would bitch at the screen "It's 11pm December 23rd! Why show me this now!? I needed this a week ago!" Now they are two weeks to a month ahead of major holiday binge fests. Now on Xmas day you watch shows for appetizers and tasty kibbles for your New Years parties.

The B&M guys have known this marketing fast forward for decades, that's why you have known since birth that the day after Thanksgiving is the official start of Xmas.

Can't Etsy do ONE thing in symmetry with any other retailing standard?

We welcome our new Handmade Overlords

Today MaryMary posted an announcement in the Etsy forums, with an accompanying Storque article, describing some new staff and new roles at Etsy Inc. Along with it came a personal message from Rob Kalin.

I am grumpy to announce that, against my will, Maria has replaced me as Etsy’s CEO. She is now my boss. My new title at Etsy is Chief Cupcake Officer (CCO), a nice meaningless moniker that will allow me to focus on what I'm best at: lying about my experience, stalking private blogs, and reading children's books.

I will also be spending time developing Etsy.org, a money-losing organization that will focus on failed hammock videos, dressing up in silly costumes, eating cupcakes, and giving jobs to my unemployable friends. (More vague details about this are coming soon. Right now, I'm still licking my wounds from getting canned.)

I’ve been filling many roles since Etsy began, all of them new to me. That's because I have no actual experience in anything useful. It’s been an embarassing and exhausting education, much of it public. Watching Maria, with her experience and expertise and sanity, has made me realize what a failure I really am. I’m excited to get back to what I enjoy most, (living in my fantasy world) and maybe even check Etsybitch less than fifteen times a day for the first time in a long time.

Ok, he didn't really write that - thanks Bitches Auxiliary! By the way, it's amazing how many people saw "CCO" and thought "Chief Cupcake Officer". Grumpy minds think alike.

To be serious for a moment, we here at Etsy Bitch are hopeful that Maria's leadership and Chad's technical expertise will usher in a new era of professionalism and progress for Etsy. Hopeful that amateurish tutorials for shoddy workmanship will be banished to the Rainbow Land of Etsy.org. Hopeful that practical, useful tools that will help members market and move their wares will finally take priority. Hopeful that obnoxious, discourteous staff members will be duct-taped and locked in the janitor's closet in favour of pleasant, knowledgeable communicators. Hopeful that resellers and mass-producers will receive the swift kick to the ass they deserve, and that Etsy returns its mission statement and original principles that have been so subverted and abused of late.

Good-bye Rob. Hello Maria and Chad.

From the Bitches Auxiliary - A rare perspective

One of our readers has taken the time to share some of his business experience with you. Though we're known for snark, we also feel all of our fellow grumpy haters should have tools available to them to survive without the big E. Plus, we know this is something you'll never see in the Dodo.

Firstly, I would like to introduce myself the best I can. I am a young man that has recently left college to try his dream at business. I have taken 2 years of business classes, and have run businesses for over five years, including a successful Etsy shop for over a year now. Etsy is my full time job.

I would like to explain why sales are usually a terrible idea for an Etsy shop. To begin, lets look at why a B&M has a sale. The answer is, to make money. And you say, how does a store make money from reducing prices? The answer is that the average person will go into a store for more than the sale item. They only run sales to get people through the doors of their store. That is all a sale does - get bodies through a door.

Stores make money from sales through careful planning. So lets look at an example sale a supermarket might run, “Coke products, five for $10." As someone who has worked at a grocery store, I can tell you they're losing money on that deal. But they run that sale around the Super Bowl, or Memorial Day, days a lot of grilled foods are consumed. So they run this great sale on soda to draw you in, and while you're there they mark up everything else. Since you're already there, you buy your hot dogs and buns at a greater mark-up, so they make up for the loss of the soda.
They do this by arranging merchandise carefully.
Now I'm going to list why sales are bad.

1. They don't attract customers in Etsy, as by the time the customer knows of the sale, they are in your shop.
2. Even if you make your avatar announce the sale, the average Etsy buyer is a first time user, so they never see that.
3. Most items on Etsy are handmade, most people just fall in love with the item, the price has little to do with the final sale.
4. Many people will question why this unknown Internet seller is running a sale. It can cause a consumer to lose trust in your shop and question why your'e doing a sale.
5. Sales will destroy your profit if your'e not careful.
6. B&M stores often have a triple digit markup so when they have have a sale they still make a lot of money
7. If a sale is not done properly, it will come off as unprofessional, which will hurt your reputation. (the proof of this is how it's easier for a seller with many feedbacks to sell then one without)
8. You are a craftsman, not Crazy Eddy
9. If you do your sale after the fact, such as through a refund with paypal, you will pay an Etsy fee on the money you have refunded.

I just hate when I see people run a sale, I feel it does nothing more then cut into your earnings.

From the Bitches Auxiliary: Black-Market Cupcakes

Pssst.......Hey You!
"Me?"
:quietly: Yeah, you! Want a cupcake?
"Sure! Thanks! You are the best ever! It has a LOT of frosting and hardly any cake, but mmmmmmmm delicious! I'm so happy you are doing this! You-Ra-Rah!" :nomnomnom:

Psst........Hey You!
"Me?"
:quietly: Yeah, you! Want a cupcake?
" Who made it? Are the ingredients organic? Does it come from a licensed kitchen? What flavors are available? It would be nice if I could choose my own frosting. How many other cupcake eaters chose the same kind as I? Is this the same cupcake everyone else is getting? You took a poll awhile ago, is this reflecting the results of what people want, or is this your own cupcake idea? I may be allergic to some of your new flavors, can you tell me the exact ingredients?"

Psst........Hey You!
"Me?"
:quietly: Yeah, you! Want a cupcake?
"I buy other people's cupcakes but I still have in interest in cupcakes. I think certain cupcake eaters have an agenda, it's the same 9 cupcake eaters always asking questions. Who cares who made it? It's none of your business, you should shut up and take the cupcake and just eat it. If it makes you sick or you have an allergic reaction, then you'll know and you can go get your cupcakes somewhere else!"

From the Bitches Auxiliary: Etsy Sing-a-Long!

Etsy Cheer
Written by LElleV

Oh Etsy, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Etsy.
Hey Etsy.
Oh Etsy, you're so right, you're so right I bow in line. Hey Etsy,
Hey Etsy.
Oh Etsy, you incite, you incite I lose my mind. Hey Etsy, Hey Etsy.
Oh Etsy, you ignite, you ignite I blow my mind. Hey Etsy.

Hey Etsy!

I've been browsin' 'round all night, and that's a little long.
We think that you are the light, but I think we've got it wrong.
Why can't we say goodnight, so I can get some sleep, Etsy?
'Cause when we promo to sell, it always seems it won't.
You're listing gives me bills, buy supplies, baby don't.
Many nights you still - feed insomnia, Etsy.
Oh Etsy, what a pity, they don't understand.
You hold me by my dreams, when I sell things by my hand.
Oh Etsy, all so pretty, can't they understand.
No site's like you, Etsy!
What you should do Etsy, do Etsy!
Don't crush my dreams, Etsy!

Hey Etsy!

Now you've been down all night, and that's a little long.
We check you 'til the light, I think our sanity is gone.
Why can't we get offline, so I can get to work, Etsy?
So come on and fix your issues, work harder on the tech.
Fix your server back up, we'll sacrifice fluff excess.
Oh please, Etsy, please, we'll accept the rest, Etsy.

Oh Etsy, what a pity, you don't understand.
You hold me by my dreams, when I sell things by my hand.
Oh Etsy, you're so pretty, you don't understand.
Your site's way too flashy!
What you should do Etsy, do Etsy!
Don't break modem speed, Etsy!
Oh Etsy, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow modems. Hey Etsy.
Hey Etsy.
Still Etsians think you're the light, you're so tight, they bow in
line. Hey Etsy, Hey Etsy.
Oh Etsy, you incite, you incite I lose my mind. Hey Etsy, Hey Etsy.
Oh Etsy, you ignite, you ignite I blow my mind. Hey Etsy.
Oh Etsy, what a pity, they don't understand.
You hold me by my dreams, when I sell things by my hand.
Oh Etsy, all so pretty, can't they understand.
No site's like you, Etsy!
What you should do Etsy, do Etsy!
Don't crush my dreams, Etsy!