Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Happy Birthday to Us!

Happy birthday, bitches!

One year ago we hit the internet bitching about Etsy, they said we'd never last the month. Who knew Etsy would give us SO much fodder? We sure didn't!

Today let's celebrate! Comment or tweet your favorite Etsy FUCK UP of the year.

Mine is the "plus size" Etsy Finds article with scales, candy, clothes that were too small to be considered "plus size" and a print saying "I have a pretty face". (That one didn't even last 24 hours before they deleted it due to the uproar). That is tied with the Mother's Gift Guide with Nipple Teapot. What's yours?

(If you tweet it, be sure to hash tag with #etsybitchday)


Oh dear... said...

Here's to another year! Please keep up the great work.

Anonymous said...

My favorite fuck up was the back to school special pasties...

Happy birthday bitches!

wristeroni said...

My favorite has to be "Bre and the Hammock Fail of the Century"

Remember my ode?

And the cast has changed slightly . . . but the failure ratio remains the same

wristeroni said...

. . . and I forgot to congratulate you on a splendid year of Bitching :)

Jen said...

Is the plus size one for real? That is definitely the biggest Etsy fuck up I've heard about. I wish someone would tell me it was posted by a disgruntled Etsy employee because it's so fucking stupid.

I don't see you bitches going away anytime soon.

I love your blog.

Old Hippie Bitch said...

My fav was the going-to-Kansas-looking-for-old-people fiasco.

Thanks for being here, EB. Keep on bitchin!

buddy said...

Congrats Bitches!!

Thank you for creating the venue that forces Etsy to pay attention.

I'll give an anniversary nod to the poor Forum Admins, who have to try to monitor a huge forum with 50 rotating top threads, and hundreds of current threads per day - with primarily just Rob, Stella & Mary, not concurrently.

Perhaps Etsy's biggest fuckup is the fact that they created this giant unwieldy forum and a utopian "happy family craft fair" marketing strategy that their own staff can't possibly manage. They don't seem to give the staff adequate training, and don't adequately staff the biggies like Bugs, Ideas, and Content Team.

So without getting into how I would restructure the entire team, I'll just say my favorite fuckups are a toss up between the Little Old Ladies Midwestern Quilters promo, and the recent Let's Capitalize on Star Trek Trademark Infringement promo.

Here's to another year of entertaining train wrecks!

bingowashisname0 said...

Etsy Bingo, my favorite by far.

Because if Etsy didn't make it so damn easy to do up a bingo card, then it wouldn't have happened.

son-of-a-bitch said...

Happy Birthday Bitches!

Keep up the good bitchin' work!

Ericka Bailie-Byrne said...

After 3 years on Etsy there are too many fuck-ups to name. I am finally letting my shops die for good because enough is enough. Fortunately I've always had my own domain, so I'm still kickin'.

Thank you, Bitches, for keeping me entertained & informed over the past year.

xo e.

altering the history books said...

Just in time for your birthday - Etsy has taken down

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of Admins who want to edit the top sales data, or eliminate the user-posted caveats & workarounds.

(and you gotta love the cupcakes who deny the etsy ownership data)

upsetwithadmin said...

Happy Birthday, EB!! May you see another year to celebrate!

cake not cupcake said...

Happy Birthday, Bitches! Thank you for keeping up the fight.

I'm having trouble picking just one favorite EtsyBoner... I think the "Etsy Sucks" treasury made me laugh the hardest.

justbitchy said...

Happy Birthday!

I think my favorite Fuck Up was when they put DXO in charge of the forums and she posted something like "I'm head of the forums" or "I'm the leader of the forums" or "I'm in charge now."

So sad and so scary at the same time. She's just pitiful. It went right to her head and mayhem ensued.

It was a crazy couple of days full of mutings and bannings that were later reversed in which she apparently continued her penchant for convo stalking and bullying but on a whole new, scary level.

She was unseated pretty quickly and with no announcement, but the damage was done.

Oh, back in the day........

My second favorite Fuck Up was the Etsy "Constitution."

Holy crap! That went on for days and thousands of forum posts and featured Rob Kalin saying that people were now allowed to copy each other! Not kidding. NOT kidding.


Why the fuck does DXO STILL HAVE A JOB???!!!???!!!???

life-during-wartime said...

A lot of the really funny ones I loved have been mentioned already: the hammock, the old people who live in the midwest, and the 'I was a back to school stripper' collection.

Wish I could see a copy of the the plus sizes feature from the Dorque! I missed that. But now I understand why so many (but not all!) clothing sellers on Etsy (hand made and vintage) have stopped putting measurements for garments in their listings. The Etsy egregore has body image issues!

Love you bitches, love the comments, love the thoughtful articles too. Happy Birthday!

The Funny One said...

So true, EB - the only place you can kevetch and not be scared shitless that Etsy is going to put you on their caca list.

My all-the-time favorite screw-up on Etsy is the scary Admin avatars next to posts that start with "Hey You!" and are signed with "Love, Etsy" --- who are they kidding?

My most recent bulletin board worthy fuck-up is the long list of projects for the May Merchandising Plan that centered on Derby-ware. Along with the not-too-subtle message that: when Etsy publishes its monthy Plan (2 days into the actual month) YOU TOO CAN MAKE WHAT ETSY wants you to make and get picked for an Etsy promo!

Ayep, let's see: "Equestrian Prep" (holy cow); Geek Chic (so 1990's); and Woodland and Feathers (ticks and fleas).

If this is a trend, count me untrendy. Wouldn't be caught dead in jodpurs with a feather glued on top proudly wearing an Etsy Branded Silkscreened T-Shirt, with the Etsy seal of approval.

lessa said...

So many good ones have been named. Etsy though keeps working on new ones. The latest being the rolling out of 'search by relevancy' that seems to just be completely random.

Thanks Etsy, like I needed help to have my items buried.

SurrenderDorothy said...

A year goes by like nuthin'!
Happy Birthday Bitches!

machu picchu said...

I like how they still have Rob Kalin as their public face on TV, even though he says horrible things, looks nervous, and exudes negative charisma.

ebbandflo said...

Happy birthday bitches!

My most 'favourite' etsy moment has to be being singled out for an Emily Bidwell warning about a mildly sarcastic forum post during the constitution/nudity/copying sanctioning/frequent reversals period which, according to Rokali, touched a nerve at HQ and thus incurred the wrath.

My second favourite moment was watching all the forum activity after I got muted for publishing said warning letter from Emily Bidwell.

In those days UEN was the only offsite forum for communication once muted (and big thanks to Serena, emc and the UEN team for that support).

Them's were happier and simpler days oh Etsy - look what you have to deal with now!

The Stinky ONe said...

Happy Birthday Bitches!

Every single fuck up is my favorite until the next one comes along. Right now it's the new search based on relevancy. NOT.

I have to admit it, it was the smartest thing Etsy did, hiring inadequate engineers and letting the sellers do all the work. All they have to do is release a half assed feature and the sellers work out all the bugs. While the shopping world watches.

KreatedByKelly said...

My personal favorite was the email about Tagging for Success that contained a link to an article which encouraged tag abuse. Hah!

eclipse said...

Most of the worst scandals were more than a year ago, like DXO being put "in charge" of the forums and the constitution. Overall the last year has been better than the previous one, but there have been some bad misjudgements.

My top 3 boners list for the past year (since EB has existed) are:

1. The glass bead scandal where one seller was reselling handmade lampwork beads made by other Etsy artists, and claiming she made it. And Etsy protected her for too long, but eventually they did the right thing and deleted her account.

2. The page number fiasco in search results. But they did reverse this bad decision so they are learning.

3. Team Grant-gate, where they granted and then revoked the team grant for the charity craft show.

These were not just amusing little boners like the hammock video or the embarrassing appearance on the Sunday morning show. These were serious lapses in judgment that affected multiple people in negative ways. But in 2 out of 3, they reverse their position and even apologized in one case. That's something you wouldn't have seen the year before last.

bitchybeads said...

Well, it may be a few days late for the Etsybitch b-day, but there was a Good Morning America spot on Etsy (ummm... did Etsy admins ever mention that this was going to happen? GMA doesn't just show up on the doorstep unannounced) AND... big drum roll here... there is a feature on Daniellexo... with cupFAKES as some of the selected items under the interview.
That seemed rather apropos.

How did I ever live w/o this site?

foxaz said...

that GMA spot was like a Michaels workshop.
I wonder how many people will be opening shop to make trademarked knockoffs, like Super Mario Brothers capes for kids?

Terrariums? $2000? Make 'em yourself!

Imported factory paintings from HK? Bring them on!! Always room for 10,000 more sellers...


never relist again said...

all i know is since i found this space i cant fucking wait to finish building my stand alone shop and putting etsy in my rear view mirror.thank you etsy beeyotches and happy birthday!

PB::JJ::WW said...

Happy Birthday ya phat bitch ya!

An I really agree about the "Plus" fuck up...but I think that all those crap post from Rokali about "What does making a living mean?" has to up on that list too...

Oh my...may you bitches have a wonderful summer and just think a few months more to yet another "Fail" Etsy Holiday Season...

I am sending snorts your way...wet ones!:P

-Painted Bull

RRobin said...

Let's not forget last August's romanticization of Bonnie and Clyde (to whit: "what's sexier than a nefarious duo driving cross country on a crime spree of such massive and public proportion?"), but there have been so many mindless acts, statements, ideas, policies, lies, violations, and applications coming from Etsy that it's hard to choose the worst or a favorite.

Thanks for this blog. It keeps me sane.

justbitchy said...

I just remembered something else.

One seller being told having employees or farming out their work is fine, but another seller being told it is against the rules.

There was a QYDJ article where the seller hires two people to sew for her. Another seller asked etsy for clarification and was told that is against the rules.

So which is it you knuckleheads?!?!

Just fine or against the rules?

Just fine for some people and against the rules for other people?

Megan McGory said...


woohoo colorful cocks!

ok I'm mature. lol

Erika said...

Many Happy Returns, Bitches!

My favorite was The Dorque article celebrating the release of the Star Trek movie, and all the picks of copyright-infringed articles.


cynicallyopenminded said...

I'm a bit late to the party. cupcakes?

notacupcake said...

Happy belated birthday, Bitches! I love this blog, and I've learned so much from it!

I'm happy to say that I'm in the process of building my own site, and I'm LOVING your alternatives posts!

Best Etsy Fail of all time: "search by relevancy." WTF? It so does NOT work that way! They need to scrap it and start over. LOL!