Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Etsy Bitches Offer Their Own Virtual Labs

We at EB have decided that we need to help Etsy in the Etsy Virtual Labs. Since sellers do most of the work anyway, why not help out and free up Etsy Admins to do other things, like customer service?

We know it’s hard work to come up with Virtual Lab Topics and bet there is a long waiting list of sellers just waiting to get into the fabulous line up that Etsy prepares each week!
We want to add to that success and high demand by offering a week’s worth of workshops that we know will be extremely popular with Etsy sellers, like:

Monday
1. Off-The-Cuff Shop Critiques for the Truly Befuddled.
2. Craft Night! — Create your very own Popsicle Stick Crochet Bookmark with Fringe and Upcycled Bottlecaps------ and where? In the Treehouse, of course!

Tuesday
1. Newbie Question Hour, including how to seal an envelope and go to the Post Office, and why shipping is so very important
2. Craft Class - Make your own coasters using fused frozen dinner trays (empty) and embellish with glitter and upcycled bottle caps.

Wednesday
1. Boo and Hiss for Sellers - show off your worst products.
2. Craft Class - Make your own nail polish by mixing oven cleaner fabric softener and upcycled real maple syrup.

Thursday
1. Listen to complaints from Buyers who Never Got Their Stuff.
2. Craft Class - Hemming Your Jeans with Scotch Tape and Glue.

Friday
1. Intro to Fine Art Glass Blowing using your Easy Bake Oven.
2. Off-The-Topic Critiques with the Little Old Ladies from the Midwest.

Saturday
1. Craft Class - 25 Different Ways to Remove Superglue From Your Fingers and Toes. (With Bitchbunny).

10 Comments:

Ladies Auxilliary said...

Okay,

A) BRILLIANT. I'm in.

B) I've been showing the hammock video to the non-creative people in my life, who have no relationship with Etsy and their reactions ranged from "um, why didn't they just re-do the video after he found out the hammock sucked" to "wtf, cotton clothesline?" to "wow, is sewing really that easy".

I propose combining the Forums drinking game, with a night of Etsybitch tutorials.

Ladies Auxilliary said...

Hey, that Superglue removal class ain't funny...okay it is, but my assistant is still laughing at me because of a recent supergluing fiasco...ouch...

Ruby Re-Usable said...

let me grab my otter pops and yoo-hoo

hee hee hee

"bitchbunny"

best EB name yet

I still have not gotten over the hammock video

Unknown said...

Is the "How to Word Your Shop Announcement to Make it Appear as if You Make Your Items When They're Obviously Mass-Produced Crap" a graduate class?

'cos once I take that one, I'm setting up shop :-P

Anonymous said...

Yeah, maybe you should have a class on how to make your own fora troll body spray. Bath and Body is sorely under-represented on this list.

I'm decorating my bottle with kittens and butterflies. Oh, and upcycled bottle caps.

Anonymous said...

Ooooh, I wanna do some, too.

1) For supplies sellers and buyers: Why it's like totally ecotastic to buy your beads from an Etsy seller rather than direct from the wholesaler. Even though these items get shipped twice, come from China, and cost you more -- you are not tiring out those tiny electrons by clicking away from Etsy (where you spend every minute you're awake). Learn how buying and selling only on Etsy means a chance for a better quality of existence for all electrons, and how renewing items in your Etsy shop feels like eating a cupcake to your computer's processor(s).

2) How to make a bread basket, bandages, and dental floss with recording tape from old cassettes and 8-tracks. Bonus: use the empty tape enclosures to make pill boxes for those older crafty ladies in the flyover states. Etsy is the place online to neutralize toxins with our crafty hands, hearts, and a sprinkle of dehydraged unicorn shit (workshop to do this coming in the Fall).

E. B. L. said...

Question: will the troll-buddy body spray be used to attack the troll, like a repellent? I so want that!



Another class:

"Make your own wrap mini-skirt using dryer lint, dust-bunnies, a hot iron, hair spray and Scotch Guard. One size fits all. Be sure and bring a sparkly ribbon of your choice for the Pièce de résistance (that we can't tell you about now or it will ruin the surprise)."

Paula B said...

ladies auxilliary - I once superglued myself to my cat. I think I need that class too.

Anonymous said...

Shrugitoff... I was thinking more in terms of repellent. But, your idea is growing on me.

Totally off topic, but come on... if they can give us an "invite button" why can't they give us a "IGNORE" button??

WindysDesigns said...

I'd like to sponsor a tutorial using stuff from Michaels. The catch will be that the contestants must be blindfolded, and must run up and down the aisles and pick up all they can in 5 minutes. Then the challenge will be to make something artistic from the frantically selected items. While still blindfolded.

We can have prizes for the most creative, the but we won't tell you what they are because we don't know yet.

Let's really put creativity and artistry to the test!