Wednesday, June 4, 2008

From the Bitches Auxiliary: Doozy

This one was sent in to the bitches to post on a reader's behalf: enjoy!

Yo etsy biatches! My rant's all about this thread:

First of all, poor Caterpillar Cowboy. You know the rest of the etsy staff struggled to maintain straight faces when they told one of their newest employees to go ask sellers a question in the forums. "Ah, don't worry about the forums -- you'll be fine."

And what a doozy of a question it is. To quote:

Question for Etsy sellers - how do you use view numbers to better run your business? We think we can help you more by focusing on fixing search and better international support (among other things), so we are not treating the view number system as a high priority ... unless you can convince us otherwise.

So, let's say we have a working view number system. How would that make you more successful? Would it benefit you more than, say, giving buyers more ways to search and discover your items?

OK, WTF?!

Let's say McDonald's tried this approach. "Hey, McCustomer, would you like us to make sure you're always be given the right items at the drive through window? We think it'd be better to make sure all our foodstuffs are listed on the menu...unless, that is, you can convince us otherwise."

You: "Can't I get my fries AND read an accurate menu?"

McDonald's: "Wow. Why is it important to get the fries?"

You: "Because I paid for them?"

Of course, etsy is not McDonald's. I shouldn't compare lovely handmade and vintage items with McFood. Nor should I expect to always get my fries, or for etsy to understand how accurate statistics might help my business.

Pages 32, 42 and 52 of the thread have some great posts (by Green Mamba, emcisaac and Hanabi, respectively) about what a ridiculous question this was. And check out page 43, where our intrepid Caterpillar Cowboy returns to reassure us that etsy loves us all, even though we need a scolding: "I also see that some people are impatient and want a number of different features done right away and at the same time." Guilty as charged!



Want to write up your own bitch? Send it to Etsybiatch@gmail.com and we'll be happy to post it for you!

11 Comments:

The Righteous One said...

"We know you signed up thinking there were certain site functions, but we really don't see the need for them to work. Now relist your hundred items again and pay up! Have a nice day"

Of course that's just paraphrasing...

Anonymous said...

man, that thread is totally craptacular in so many ways.
I feel bad for that guy, he came off sounding like such a condescending tool. So I guess we can all say goodbye to views now, huh?
Great.

Elizabeth said...

Can I just say that these sorts of discussions have rarely led anywhere in any timely fashion. Who knows if anything will actually come of it, either way.

The Disgruntled One said...

Part of me thinks, "Poor bastard". The other part thinks, "Perhaps he shouldn't quit his day job rounding up phytophagous larvae".

Very condescending. He fits right in with the rest of them. Poor sap.

jodie nicholson said...

I have a craving for fries now

Simone said...

How can any business not know with perfect clarity what their priorities are for at least the next 12-18 months and how to make them happen? This alone is causing my poor brain to go into spasms.

And in particular how can they not already have established exactly what they are doing in terms of things as fundamental as search and views?

Frustrating. And kind of astonishing!

The Disgruntled One said...

They may know, simone, but they will never tell us. It's against company policy, don't you know.

*rolling eyes*

impetuous said...

I don't feel bad for him. If he knows what he is doing he knows what a stupid question it is. If he doesn't know what he is doing, he deserves whatever he gets.

The fact is, Etsy does not realize that there are people listening in the forums who actually know when they are being given the run around.

Etsy, we know, you know how we use view counts.
Wake up.

The Disgruntled One said...

And ... the thread has been locked by the Cowboy.

Very helpful.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to know who locked that thread. Because I see no avatar, no name and when I click it, I get that fucking stupid brick wall.

Or maybe I just need to clear my cache and delete all my cookies and reboot my computer and then punch myself in the head for being so goddamn stupid?

Hook It Up! Jewelry said...

Oh my, let us refrain from compairing Etsy to McDonalds...the one in my hometown always leaves out something and gets upset when you point it out...

LOL!

Otherwise, I completely agree :)