Thursday, June 5, 2008

Bullying, Stalking and General Asshattery

In this thread:

http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5650490&page=1

An Etsy member talks about being stalked and bullied on the forums. Apparently, she has reported it to Admin, and Admin has told said instigator to back the frack off. The bully doesn't and the OP is forced to report her again, and the cycle repeats itself, but there's no permanent solution.

Why isn't there a permanent solution?? Because Etsy condones said bad behavior by doing it to other people! Let's not forget the soul-less eyed admin who followed a prolific buyer around the internet, and the hot admin who convo'ed many sellers who posted things she did not agree with, and the top level admin who openly insulted another seller with a flash toy.

Then there's the countless number of sellers and buyers who have been harassed via the chat room and via convo by other members, and there are no repercussions. You see it happen all the time when there's a dissenting opinion on Etsy policy.

I think that Etsy secretly gets off on watching these things happen, because it's all an human experiment to them. We're like little rats in a maze, fighting over a piece of cheese. That's why they don't shut these people down, because they find it funny! Another fail at good customer service, Etsy!

PS- Matt just closed the thread. I sincerely hope that Matt takes care of the problem for the OP.

67 Comments:

marie said...

If I were CD, I'd start documenting all conversations with admin and harassment from this person(though she likely has already). Once you tell someone to stop, it's harassment. If Etsy still doesn't do anything, and this person continues, I'd file a civil suit on their ass, and perhaps Etsy needs to pay too since they're allowing this to happen (thay can easily keep this person from posting in the forums and convoing).

Anonymous said...

This woman harasses not just CD, but everyone else she comes in contact with--some of whom aren't familiar with her and are blown away by the rudeness. I'd love to know the percentage of closed threads caused by this one person. Complaints are levied...complaints are ignored.

The Angsty One said...

Apparently you've all forgotten what happened to Thaidreams? She was harassed, stalked, threatened, reported, flagged, etc etc throughout her reign on Etsy and SHE was the one that was kicked off.

She reported her stalkers multiple times, and Etsy said that because of HER conflict with other members they were refusing her service.

Anonymous said...

I can't tell you how many times I've reported the person who is causing problems for CD... It's hard to imagine why she hasn't been muted.. Hmmmmmm

Ann said...

If it is the seller I'm thinking of, I too have reported several of her posts as rude, argumentative and disrespectful yet nothing seems to happen. Is Etsy happy to have her run rampant so that threads get closed and become unsearchable in the black hole of Etsy archives? She has singlehandedly got a lot of useful discussions closed by resorting to personal attacks.

TheSneakyOne said...

Definitely not forgotten angsty. She was also harassed into submission.

Really? Why must Matt be sent to clean up these messes?

Anonymous said...

I was always curious what happened to Thai Dreams; I'd seen her in the forums a lot and people seemed to gang up on her a lot. She seemed to disappear right around the time that all those other shops were shut down ridiculously. I really wanted a pair of those pants, but she was kicked off before I could get any.

The Righteous One said...

Anon, She's no longer listing new inventory, just selling off what they've got, but they're on Dawanda!
http://en.dawanda.com/user/Thaidreams

impetuous said...

Here is a the public request, and a big freudian slip too by the stalker, where she admits to following!

http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5648557&page=3

Here is another where the stalker denies admin ever contacted her. Why is Etsy letting this person run wild?

http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=5640532&page=3

Anonymous said...

Someone please punch that woman right in the face... she pisses me off so much I want to punch my laptop...and I love my laptop...

I feel so sorry for CD... I think I would have had smoke coming out of my ears if I were her...

PLEH!

Anonymous said...

"I used to know this girl growing up who would try to be social by contradicting everything people said as if that was equivalent to having an intelligent opinion. Everyone disliked her ways but she was totally oblivious and could never understand why people didn't think she was just, entitled to her opinion like everyone else. It's been a long time since I've been in that school yard, but I guess it's just like riding a bike."

That sure rings a bell.

Anonymous said...

In the jewelery post a few below this, i mentioned one seller who repeatedly seems to close threads, and is generally combative, and rude.

I'm relieved to know it's not just me that finds her a problem.

I wouldn't go so far as to say she's stalking me, but where I post, she tends to turn up almost regularly.

Why hasn't she been muted?

Anonymous said...

"Then there's the countless number of sellers and buyers who have been harassed via the chat room and via convo by other members, and there are no repercussions."

This is what happened to me but there were repercussions. Of the wrong kind. I can no longer post. She can. (Please note the "she" in question is not the same "she" that is the subject of CD's thread but they do seem to have a lot in common.)

I no longer trust admin to handle things as adults should. I wouldn't write to them for help if my shop were on fire.

Anonymous said...

Never ceases to amaze me how many people think contacting admin, which is right up there with "telling teacher", is the cosmic fix to all her answers, silly girl!

Did the twits even read the OP? She's tried repeatedly to shut her up the conventional way and nothing has happened. Even better, let's state the obvious a few times by announcing that this is calling out so we look all smart and knowledgeable. At least to the other people who didn't read the OP either.

Frankly, I think Admin sees the whole thing and does nothing not because they get off on it, but they simply don't care.

Anonymous said...

Contacting admin over unsolicted convos or issues like this does squat.

As much as I love etsy, i am ticked that when someone created a random account and started sending me incessant convos of "advice" for my product, despite my asking them to desist, they said I had to deal with the person.

Gee. Thanks. If my asking them to leave me be didn't work, then I guess I'll ask again!

Anonymous said...

The truth:
OP has disagreed with said bully.
Bully is no bully, but someone with their own opinion.
This person (I have spoken with them ) has talked to Rob about it one on one as they are actually the one being followed around and flamed on random subjects by the accusing them, and Rob said it was not acceptable that they were being treated in such a way. NOT A WORD was said to them in regards to leaving anyone alone.
This is why admin is "doing nothing".

Anonymous said...

"The truth:
OP has disagreed with said bully.
Bully is no bully, but someone with their own opinion."

Oh, RegalBeads, you silly twit. For someone with 2 sales, you seem to have a lot invested in the protection of the endangered Estybeast.

Honestly, every time I see your avatar in the forums, I'm enbarrassed for you before I even read your post. You've become a predictable caricature. If its performance art - good job. If not, get a life. Take a chill pill. Maybe even a chill supository.

And I say this as someone who doesn't have nearly as many issue with Etsy as the creators of this blog do. I read for the trainwreck aspect and baby, your are one wacky choo-choo.

Anonymous said...

This is a classic case of only one side of the story being told.

CD has made her own fair share of posts flaming others, including an entire thread that was a thinly veiled personal attack on this supposed bully. CD is entirely responsible for half of this antagonistic relationshop. I have seen her go into a thread with the express intent of jumping on this "bully". I agree with the other anonymous poster here who said that this "bully" is just a person with differing opinions.

Just because someone posts in the same threads as you and happens to disagree with you on many issues pertaining to Etsy does not make them a stalker. How idiotic. Equating such behaviour to stalking does a disservice to people who actually ARE harassed.

That being said, Etsy has let REAL stalkers go unpunished. There was someone a while ago who stalked a well-known seller both in and outside of Etsy, going so far as to post her personal photos in the forums. Nothing was done by admin. That is stalking, not some piddly snipe-fest between two people who can't agree on most issues.

impetuous said...

I think Etsy better just close the forums. The way they are being "managed" right now seems like a waste of time and money.

impetuous said...

wow.
anonymous, you kinda sound like regalbeads...

The Malevolent One said...

Everbody chill.

This is not a platform to pick apart specific sellers by name. The bigger picture is admin's reaction or non-reaction to cases of harassment on the forums. Keep your comments focused on the issue, please.

RecoveryBabe said...

*inserts cock in everyone's mouths*

That should fix the problem.
Where do I apply for an Etsy Admin position? Or should I just bend over and let Rob put it in my butt?

TheSneakyOne said...

Exactly Malevolent!

The thread was brought up as an example as to how Stalking and bullying have gone unpunished.

Keep it at the task on hand.

Impetuous, I have said that for a very long time.

shannon said...

*cries about the horror of cocks* anyway, why can't we be friends?

Anonymous said...

This has nothing to do with this post at all.

Effing Eww:

http://www.etsy.com/storque/section/etc/article/about-us-rob-aka-robwhite/1826/

Anonymous said...

This is not stalking, it is merely annoying. If you don't want to be followed around, SHUT THE HELL UP. If you have ever really been stalked, you would realize that this is so minor it is really laughable. And CD is as annoying as hell, I stay far far away from any thread she is in.

TheSneakyOne said...

Oh, so its the person's fault for talking? It's okay to harass and stalk anyone if they open their mouths? That's almost akin to saying that a rape victim shouldn't have work that short skirt.

GMAFB.

impetuous said...

"If you don't want to be followed around, SHUT THE HELL UP."

So I am free to follow you around now?

The Righteous One said...

To persist in contacting someone after they've asked you not to is the definition of harassment.

Just because Rob supposedly took someone's side doesn't make it right...in fact, it makes it worse. Every member of Etsy administration should be impartial!!

THAT is the whole point!

We were pointing this out...thanks for supporting our point by providing that information.

And yes, there are two sides to things, but the one the public sees is u-g-l-y

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm, so only certain parties are allowed to be annoying in the fora and no one can comment on what they say? I see.

Anonymous said...

This is not a platform to pick apart specific sellers by name. The bigger picture is admin's reaction or non-reaction to cases of harassment on the forums. Keep your comments focused on the issue, please.

*******

Unfortunately, you're a little late since the seller has already been "outed".

RecoveryBabe said...

I have an idea. Why don't we report this blog post, comments, etc. to Admin and see what they do.

The Cranky One said...

Okay folks since we have a few anonymous'es it looks like, at least I think two, we're going to switch to registered/open ID for a bit.

Chill the fuck out.

impetuous said...

cranky, I kind of love you a little. nice job.

The Cranky One said...

You don't have to pick your own name, you just have to have one. Get a new google one if you need to but it's confusing the fuck out of us.

TheSneakyOne said...

I have a hard on for cranky, seriously. Its a good hard on too. :D

The Cranky One said...

I kinda love you too Imp, send me an email and we'll cyber our asses off.

RecoveryBabe said...

You just gave me a girl boner.
I'm gonna go lurk in the forums and search for naughty words.

impetuous said...

I am losing track of the people I need to feel sorry for. We cannot say crazy, lame or retarded and apparently we must now be extra careful not to offend those who have been stalked, lest we make their plight look insignificant, by over use of the word "stalker".

I am also not sure what this "high road" is everyone speaks of in these situations. Where does this road lead exactly? Is there an address I can plug into my navigation system, because I would hate to get lost on the "high road" to nowhere.

I think it is pretty clear in the threads provided that one person was hounding another. Etsy really needs to wake up and take out the trash, it's getting smelly.

Andy Mathis said...

I'm like Dr. Phil- a Skep-tick.

I think Admin is doing the best they can, on this one incidence, or said incidence. Obviously not to the satisfaction of the original post.

I witnessed a few forum tantrums- pot meet kettle, kettle, pot.

The Angsty One said...

GMAFB.


I read that as "Grab My Ass, Fag Basket.

impetuous said...

I don't think these two are alike at all Andy. I see one with no sales, hardly any purchases and rarely anything nice or meaningful to say.

I see another who gets out of hand sometimes but for the most part makes a decent contribution in the forums and has an active, thriving shop.

I see what you are saying about neither being perfect but I would not put them on the same stove together.

TheSneakyOne said...

*tears rolling down face*

Sure, let's roll with that!

Andy, I agree with impetuous.

However, there are many more examples of how they've fallen down on the job in this regard. You can't tell me not punishing the person who posted photos of a rather popular seller and other such information and them not doing a thing about it is "doing the best they can"

The Kinky One said...

This is like watching a five (or six, or seven) way tennis match or maybe nude mud-wrestling.

RB, I'll help you with that girl boner anytime. :D

RecoveryBabe said...

...you so kinky...

BoroBabe1020 said...

If it were anyone but her, I'd be sympathetic. But Craft Diner takes pleasure in being snarky, nasty, condescending, and hostile. It's not funny. It's not in jest. I'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner. It's about time someone stood up to her.

BoroBabe1020 said...

That being said, Regal just needs to make something and STFU for a loooong time.

The Ebon Swan said...

If that's your idea of standing up to someone, I weep for these fora.

...more than I usually do anyway.

TheSneakyOne said...

Ebon, whose idea? I need clarification, because that made no sense.

BoroBabe1020 said...

I supposed I just don't understand how certain few can say whatever they want and they get a thumbs up from others, even when being nasty to people, but some random unknown does something half as heinous and they get censored/shut down/shop closed/torn to bits.

That's all.

TheSneakyOne said...

borobabe, it perplexes us as well.

The Ebon Swan said...

Borobabe said that it was about time someone stood up to "her", that "her" I'm going to assume is CD, and not RegalBeads.

Thus far the behavior I've seen has been *far* from "standing up" to anyone, but rather spewing one's spleen persistently, constantly, repetitively, and going out of one's way to do so with a particular target in mind.

I'm having a helluva time seeing where that's standing up to anyone.

But then again, I always did miss those ABC After School Specials.

S'all I'm saying.

TheSneakyOne said...

Ah, that explains it. Thanks so very much!

BoroBabe1020 said...

Swan, I understand. I should explain better.

What I should have said is, I'm not impressed with EITHER of them. To me, it's a case of Pot:Kettle, and I don't understand how either of them has a leg to stand on. Neither is kind to many people, and I find it humerous at best. Perhaps I shouldn't have said, "stood up to her", especially after I read the post and realized it was Regal we were talking about.

So you are correct. I stand corrected.

The Ebon Swan said...

Didn't come to chew your ass, Boro...now I know what you meant and t'other way around. It's all good.

TheSneakyOne said...

Ebon, I certainly hope you'll grab a cuppa your favorite beverage, pull up a chair and peruse all the wonderful articles we have. ^__^

BoroBabe1020 said...

Oh no, I didn't think you were chewing my ass.

See, this is how forums should be! People can disagree, misunderstand, get it worked out, and not be pains in the ass!

:-)

The Ebon Swan said...

Oh no worries Sneaks...I'm gonna hang out for awhile. ;)

impetuous said...

Every thread I have seen this stalker in she is attacking someone new. I have not seen that behavior from CD.

I am not sure what standing up there is to be done here. Seems to me the stalker has a long list of enemies and contributes nothing significant in the forums.

The real point here is behavior, no matter who you side with, has gone unchecked. According to some anon who knows the stalker, she has had private tête-à-têtes with Rob White about CD, thus giving her the encouragement she needs to continue the harassment. This is very irresponsible on Etsy's part.

BoroBabe1020 said...

OK, then, that is truly icky. Permission? Lord.

impetuous said...

what do you mean, permission? I'm confused.

impetuous said...

fora sounds vaginal to me... and not in a good way.

BoroBabe1020 said...

Encouragement, permission -- isn't it the same with Etsy? They don't do anything, so it gives the person tacit permission to do what they want?

NOT saying that's a good thing.

impetuous said...

Oh, I see. Yes, permission in a way.
The person in question (I am impetuous and call out so I am trying not to) claims to have a direct line to Rob White. she is posting this in the blog threads of Etsy:
http://regalbeads.blogspot.com/2008/06/when-someone-lies-about-you.html

impetuous said...

My question here is, why does someone with a long track record of bad behavior in the forums have a special, private, relationship with Rob? Are they married?

How is this professional?

TheSneakyOne said...

It's not professional, and he should not be talking to or at length to anyone about said repercussions in the situation.

She now feels as if she's got some kind of permission to act like a crapburger in the forums.

To little miss direct line to Go.. I mean Admin. Its just not with CD, honey, its with almost everyone you come across. You're a shithead, plain and simple.

I lump you in with every shithead who starts crap in the forums just to be mean and make yourself feel better. Don't like it? Suck my dick.

Funny how you say that if someone can't take differing opinions of themselves, they should stay out of the forums, yet you have your panties in a wad over this.

impetuous said...

crapburger, fag basket, cock in the mouth, cock in the ass, girl wood and suck my dick.

I love this blog.