Thursday, July 3, 2008

From the Bitches Auxiliary: Geograhically Stupid

We could have rewritten this up into an article, but this Auxiliary Bitch did such a nice job we'll just post it as is:

Dearest Bitches.

I rarely stumble into the Storque, but for some reason I decided to yesterday. Unfortunately, it was still crap, but I was somehow able to find this wonderful article written by our fearless leader Rokali.

I tried to let it roll of my back, but it has gotten to me more and more over the past day.

Now if you're not from Tennessee you probably won't understand why I have to complain about this, but I found the article HUGELY offensive. No wonder Vanessa didn't see a problem with offending the "older" crowd and DanielleXO feels it OK to be nasty to everyone. This is the CEO of a multi-million dollar corporation that has several customers in the state that he is belittling.

Here are the quotes I'm most pissed off about:

"so we rented a car and drove through the flat countryside up to Springfield." This was just plain stupidity. Anyone who's ever driven in middle TN knows there isn't any FLAT countryside anywhere...it's all hills.

"it felt worlds away from my Brooklyn home." Like Tennessee is just some backwoods country town with no civilization? Yeah, we're all from a totally different planet.

"That night Tara and I drove back to Nashville through the winding country roads, missing most major turns at least once." What winding country roads? In Nashville? Does he know that Nashville is a pretty large city? I've lived in Nashville for 22 years (my entire life) and have never seen the winding country roads he speaks of.

"and then went down to Broadway for a night on the town. All I can say is, where have all the acoustic guitars gone in Nashville? It was all flash electric whizzin’." Like Nashville is only supposed to have acoustic guitars...because we don't know what electricity is?

But the real kicker was found in the comments section by another admin:
"Old-timey music on a front porch in Appalachia in the summertime is truly my idea of heaven. Wonderful story, I can smell the grass, see the fireflies...taste the moonshine!" APPALACHIA? Does this idiot own a map...or a computer? maps.google.com honey...this is not APPALACHIA that's in Virginia.

I wasn't completely fed up with Etsy until I read this. And while it may not seem like a big deal to everyone else it really made me realize just why the rest of the admins act the way they do. It's because of the "leadership." He was simply trying to write and exhilarating article with no concern of the feelings of some of the members of the "community" and the mindless drones that are his employees just pat him on the back for it. The asking for old people thread was one mistake, but now they're catering to stereotypes about southerners, next it's fat people or poor people, people from different countries, or different religious groups...where does it stop?

I just had to complain and I knew the bitches would like to hear it!
Cranky notes:
Not only does the blind arrogance stun me, but the appalling lack 'worldliness' is even less than I've come to expect from New Yorkers honestly. They seem to always compare places to the city that occupies merely a tiny dot on the face of the earth but has the biggest ego in the world. There are larger cities, there are more fantastic places, and certainly there are much smarter people - that's where the rest of us live!

51 Comments:

impetuous said...

Ignorance.
It's what's for breakfast.

godot said...

This explains so much. So sad.
Note to self: never read Storque

Never convo with Daniellexo

MajorFuckingEtsyBurnout said...

He is just a total jackass. And I love that all the admin rush in and post "Great job!". Um yeah, he's your boss right?

Cranky, having grown up in ny, yup there's lots of zealots, but, it's extra annoying when the "new" new yorkers that always try to overcompensate. If you gathered up all the admin, none of those white kids grew up in Brooklyn, or would have even DEIGNED to live there 10 years ago. Trust.

The Hassids who have always lived there can't stand the hipster kids and think they have ruined their hood, driving rent up and opening cupcake stores. I have seen some of them dress up like "brooklyn hipsters" for Halloween. Effing hilarious. And sad.

old hippie bitch said...

Written like a child, by a child.

My fav was "The day ran on as days are wont to do." Snorted tea out my nose on that one.

I can appreciate the disgust when Rokali (or any admin) writes about us in the flyover states. Here in Chicago we're said to have an inferiority complex about NYC. So not true! We're just better.

Speaking of flyover...first plane trip, Skippy? The word "deplane" has been around longer than you.

Andy Mathis said...

I'm from the South. and I didn't find anything offesive about the article, unlike the "old people whittlin' in Kansas" request.

Granted, I don't know much from Springfield, and I have no clue if it's hilly or flat.

It's a desription of their experience. In their own words.

just bitchy said...

There is a difference between
a) fiction
b) creative license
c) writing with accuracy in mind
d) talking out of your ass
e) hoping your readers don't know anything about what you are writing about

I believe Rokali has mastered d) and e)

old hippie bitch said...

Good post, Andy. True and level-headed. But, ya know, when EB puts a dish in front of us, we're gonna eat it up. I come here to bitch, and I guess I can bitch on any topic at all...such a great release.

cant believe the ignorant ego said...

ARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

That freaking NY better than everyone/everywhere attitude annoys the hell out of me.

I rather enjoy living in my "rural" state tyvm. I dont have to worry about getting mugged walking down a street, getting raped while jogging in a park, choking to death on car fumes, or put up with bodily fluids when trying to catch a ride on the subway or bus. OR the freaking noise.

I'll take my clean air, lightin' bugs, and peace and quite over that anyday.

And "ole timey" music? PLEASE, read the signs over the sections of a cd rack or iTunes genres, you will not find one that says "ole timey", its called BLUE GRASS!

Please correct your "hip" rectal-cranial invertions, and read a book, or at least remember that "google is your friend" when trying to write articles about stuff you know absolutely nothing about.

Your illusions of educated grandure fool no one except yourselves.

cant stand the ignorant egos said...

gah i hate the no edit and the fact I cant type today lol

*inversions*

el-stinko-armpit said...

Isn't Nashville known as 'Music City USA'? The word music is pretty broad. Nashville is a big city, and it's known for a lot more than country music. For stuff like its universities and architecture. (Unfortunately I've only seen the airport, changing planes for a trip to Arkansas fron New Joisey.)

I don't think he meant to be offensive. He's just an obtuse New Yawker with poor communication skills. Sheesh! What has happened to the urban east coast in the last 20 years (since I left)? I remember people being pretty cosmopolitan, and this d00d seems kinda provincial????

eclipse said...

ok mostly I agree with the general sentiment- Rokali is very limited and narrow in his experience of unfamiliar places. His reactions to a London trip last year were amusing too. (he hates London)

but on this point-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appalachia

wikipedia says the eastern half of Tennessee is part of Appalachia
There is also a town called Appalachia in Virginia, but I think the poster meant the region, not the town.
carry on bitching as you are wont to do.
*chortle*

Ladies Auxilliary said...

I'm with Andy...

I guess everyone's entitled to their bitch but...people always comment ignorantly on places they don't know well. Bad writing yes. Sheltered...yeah, probably. Heinous and utterly deplorable and unforgivable insult to the land of Tennessee and it's citizens..? Not so much.

This goes in my bitching for bitching's sake file.

city troll said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
kiss said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
woof said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Heather said...

Hey guys? Just like not all Southerners aren't moonshine jug drinkin' hicks...not all urban east coasters have our noses up our own asses, lol.

Heather, who would take the subway and noise over the allergy inducing 'clean air' anyday!

*wink*

sugarstreetcafe said...

I knew there was a reason why I never went Storque-ing.

Heather said...

"not all Southerners AREN'T moonshine jug drinkin' hicks"

"not all Southerners ARE moonshine jug drinkin' hicks"

*help* the double negatives have gotton me! Argh. You all know what I meant, right? Did I get it right the first time?

Shoot.

wristeroni said...

I'm not usually a Rokali apologist . . . but I DO feel like some of the critisism in this particular feature is unjustified.

- in his defense he does say BACK to Nashville -- not winding roads IN Nashville
**********************
It most certainly IS Appalachia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appalachia

Hell, I live in Pennsylvania; and part of my state is Appalachia -- it's NOT just Virginia.
******************************
"it felt worlds away from my Brooklyn home"

Yeah, it probably would; there IS a big difference (not better or worse; just different)
**************************
I don't think this post deserved the Etsy Bitch Seal of Approval.

wristeroni said...

. . . I will add that I thought the video was dorkier and more degrading than the article.

Andy Mathis said...

moonshine is illegal in Tennessee, isn't it?


Oh. and have you seen 25 hottest guys in green?
http://tinyurl.com/57nxur

ShrugItOff said...

I am always curious what the deleted comments say! Was it just utter BS by a troll?

Anyway, to the OP- I'm sorry that his article offended you. It's not the worst thing I can think of in the big scheme of 'Major Fucking Etsy Blunders' however.

Kali said...

Any type of homemade distilled alcohol is illegal in the US.

Having said that, there's probably just as much home distilling going on in New York as there would be in Tennessee.

your mom said...

Two Observations over here:

1) I hate that they even call it the 'Storque'.

and

2) again, why does DANIELLEXO have a job?

lucy said...

Come ON guys.

Are you SERIOUSLY trying to convince me that the rest of the US isn't like NYC>

jen said...

Yeah, I would file this under "pretentious," but not "offensive." It just sounds like the fancy writing of someone quite young. In fairness, I would guess that he was actually really impressed with Tennessee.

And, like Heather said, it's no nicer to lump together all NYers than it is to be stupid about all Southerners.

I'm going to save my bitching for something a little more relevant.

jen said...

Yeah, I would file this under "pretentious," but not "offensive." It just sounds like the fancy writing of someone quite young. In fairness, I would guess that he was actually really impressed with Tennessee.

And, like Heather said, it's no nicer to lump together all NYers than it is to be stupid about all Southerners.

I'm going to save my bitching for something a little more relevant.

jen said...

Whoops--like double-posting. That would be more relevant. :o)

TheSneakyOne said...

Dearest Kiss,

Have a problem? Take it to e-mail.

xoxox,

TheSneakyOne

Anonymous said...

Now you know what it's like to be Canadian. We have to deal with this crap from you guys all the time.

Grace said...

What's the most offensive to me is the poor writing! It sounds like he's read a bunch of travel books, and then cobbled together a road trip story without ever leaving the Labs.

Totally OT, is it just me, or is the word verification getting more and more letters in it? And what's with all of the "q"s? Are spammers somehow extra confused by the letter q?

TheSneakyOne said...

Anon @549pm. Im sorry, but I have to delete you, but your comment was hilarious.. I've quoted it below.

Now you know what it's like to be Canadian. We have to deal with this crap from you guys all the time.

July 3, 2008 5:49 PM

TheSneakyOne said...

kiss, you gave yourself away. private blog, we do as we wish.

Christina said...

I live in Tennessee and am just about 3 hours from Nashville. I've traveled there a lot and absolutely love it.

The article did not offend me. I just chalked it up to ignorance. I felt like he was trying to play up to the stereotype of life in TN, which he shouldn't have done.

And no, TN is not flat.

If he was in some way disappointed about the music that he found in Nashville then I feel very sorry for him.

Seriously, "acoustic guitars" and "old-timey" music"? Do they realize Nashville is called "Music City" which means it is very diverse.

Nashville is full of culture and I'm sure they missed out on it while looking around for old timers sitting on their front porch shootin' whiskey.

Oh and NASHVILLE IS NOT PART OF APPALACHIA. Nashville is in Middle Tennessee and only East TN is part of it. I live in the Appalachia Region.

Tim Easterday said...

I could see someone from NY getting a bit shocked in a little town like Springfield. My mom and one of my older brothers live there so we've been up there to visit many times. Definitely pretty hilly as you drive out of Nashville up to the Springfield exit but it's technically not in the Appalachia area.

bulllllshit said...

The comments on that article are disgusting.

"It was such a fantastic trip! The wood shop, nice folks, great tunes, moonshine and a fire pit... What could be better..."

Moonshine?
What about the toothless whittlers?

Christina said...

Oh and yea moonshine is illegal and there's not a lot being produced since poor Popcorn Sutton is currently in jail.

Bless his heart!

TheSneakyOne said...

Keep pushing, instead of learning to give it a break, and you'll keep on getting deleted.

Best advice, give it a break.

impetuous said...

Here kiss.

A poll just for you!

http://indienightmares.blogspot.com/

shannon said...

I'm from Memphis, and it's WEST tn that is fairly flat. In EAST tn, you can barely walk with all the hills and mess. In Nashville, that's in the middle. I've only been there once.

Not an insult, but it's not really good writing. He should get someone to ghost write.

My brother moved to Brooklyn to be a hipster :D

Christina said...

We here in E. TN manage to walk just fine. :) And "mess"?

The Cranky One said...

He didn't like LONDON? Jesus. London is fabulous. I went to "The City", as central London is called, several years ago and we still rave about it. My husband still craves the food, which the stereotypes are 30years out of date on and the people are fabulous.

Sure dinner takes two hours, you have to ask for a bill and the glasses are small... that's just Europe, bonehead. They all do that. We would go back in a heart attack, that town won our hearts.

The Cranky One said...

Kiss/Balance/Gemma - CUT IT THE HELL OUT.

You're the reason this blog might move to a better system with comment IP tracking and banning.

Keep pushing. Make us find a reason.

kitten said...

yeah, it kind of read like a cliche travel book, but I don't think he meant any harm.

The Cranky One said...

KISS - not even one of us is one of the Etsy 5. So dead wrong it's funny. You're so stupid it's funnier.

Brooke said...

It ain't me. But thanks for the shout out. Did it ever occur to you that ANYONE can post with the same name as anyone else? I could easily post with the name 'godot' or 'oldhippiebitch' and cause a shitstorm. I can't imagine I'm the only one who realizes this.

impetuous said...

Kiss, I think there are job openings at the Etsy Angels blog.

All you have to do is suck hairy balls and you are in!

Brooke said...

I wish you hadn't deleted the comment by 'kiss' that posted at the EXACT same time I did, though.

lucy said...

you're not the only one who realizes it brooke.
but i think most people here wouldn't do that. and if something like that were to happen, i'm sure the person with the name originally could make a good case for themself.

trolls are trolls. they're pretty easy to detect.

lucy said...

and also, not too sure why you wanted that comment by kiss left up there.

in case anyone is wondering it isn't very difficult to open two browsers and post at the same time under two different names.

TheSneakyOne said...

Because we're not posting a single comment from you. Have a wonderful day!